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Love & Relationships

18 Out-of-the-Box Ideas to Propose to Your Significant Other

Proposing to your partner is not an Indian concept. However, as we are embracing the western wind and making a place for love marriages, there is a need to get creative with our way of asking the big question. So, now that you have a green signal from both the families and a concrete intention to get married to your significant other, you would need some help in deciding how to pop the question. And so you have got it. Here are 18 unique, creative and awesome out-of-the-box ideas to propose to your significant other.

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1. Inside a photobooth

An adorable and creative way of asking someone to marry you is inside a photo booth. Thankfully, even with the advance of the internet and social media, this idea remains widely unpopular. So, there is a very low possibility of your significant other guessing that you are going to pop the question. This makes for a perfect situation. Since the photo booth facility is not widespread in India even now, the only place you can do this is at the malls.

You can casually lead your partner into the photo booth and just when you are in the middle of the pictures, you can take out the ring and ask them to marry you. And one of the great things about this idea is that you will get automatic, candid, in-the-moment photos of your engagement for your book of memories (if you ever make one). So, the cameraman who?

2. Through their favourite book

I am not very enthusiastic about the idea of cutting a hollow space in a book to propose someone for marriage. Because doing that is criminal. So, don’t! If you search for book proposals, you will find many people using their partner’s favourite book to pop the question. But it is not as appealing to someone who truly loves books. Instead, try this. Take a string and tie the ring to it. Then, place it as a bookmark in the centre of the book. So, when your significant other would open the book, they would see the ring dangling from the top in the middle of the pages — a great way to propose without damaging a book.

But if you really want to propose your significant other using the hollow book technique, there is an alternative that works just as well as the actual method. Get the cover of your partner’s favourite book printed. Take a box of the same size as the print and paste the cover on it in a way that it looks like a book. Lastly, cut the box vertically from the centre. This where you would place the ring. It works just like intended without ruining a book.

3. In a planetarium

A planetarium is probably one of the most underrated romantic places. Thanks to La La Land, people are now beginning to see the romance of planetariums. And they are a great place to ask your partner to marry you, too. If you don’t mind sparing some money and are willing to go all in, book an entire planetarium for you and your partner. Then, seek the help of the in-charge of the planetarium to display the big question on the screen above. Catch your significant other off-guard by popping the question in the middle of the show. You are sure to love it as much as they would.

4. With a scratch card

I love the thought of making someone work for their surprise. It increases their expectations even when they don’t expect it. Weird, isn’t it?

Many websites make customised scratch cards. And there are a few people who have used this facility to their advantage. That’s right! They used it to ask their partners to marry them. But who would expect a marriage proposal on a scratch card? Nobody. And that is your cue! Get a custom-made scratch card and ask your partner to try their luck with it. They are bound to be surprised when the question would unexpectedly appear on the scratch card.

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5. Through a fortune cookie

I loved the idea when I saw Chris Pratt propose to Anne Hathaway with a fortune cookie in the movie, Bride Wars. It was very thoughtful. It showed the effort that had gone into getting a customised fortune made. Especially, for asking your partner to marry you. For this, you can either find someone who makes the fortune cookies or — all to make one yourself. (If you wish to make it more personal) The latter would be more time-consuming but does it really matter? Then, hand them the fortune cookie containing the question. You can do this when you are alone, with your family, or even at a house party among your friends. Because it is not too lovey-dovey, but it is not too casual either. It is just perfect!

6. At the end of a photo book

Photographs are the greatest souvenirs of memories. And we are obsessed with them. Therefore, it is no wonder that we have better cameras and more storage spaces in our phones every day. But even so, nothing beats the charm of the physical copies of photos. Get a photo book from any bookstore and paste pictures of your special moments together. Leave the last page blank. On the day you decide to ask the question, hand your partner the photo book. When they get to the last page, pop the question. Take your first engagement picture and paste it at the end of the book on the last page, indicating the completion of the circle of your relationship.

7. A message in the gifting chocolate box

The easiest way to propose your significant other to marry you is through the gifting chocolate boxes. They are very easy to find. In fact, you can approach your local cake or chocolate shop to get a customised gifting chocolate box, as well. But the best way to do it is by making the chocolates yourself. Make 15 pieces of chocolates and write the words ‘Will you marry me?’ on them, one letter each plus the question mark. Gift the box to your partner so when they open the box, they would be greeted with the big life-changing question when they would least expect it.

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8. Play your message in the theatre

What if you could see your entire relationship flashing in front of you? That would be incredible. Wouldn’t it? Well, it can’t happen for you unless your partner stumbles upon this article. But you can do that for your partner when asking them to marry you. If you don’t mind spending or have contacts, get an entire theatre booked for yourself. Then, in between the trailers, ask the theatre people to show a video of the timeline of your relationship. Finally, pop the question at the end of the video. It does not get more personal than this, mon ami.

9. Create a moving picture book

Remember how emotional we all got when Ram showed a moving picture book to Ishan’s family that he made for them in Taare Zameen Par? Yes, that is the level of emotional reaction I am talking about.

Make a moving picture book of how you came together and got engaged. Here, instead of actually asking the question, you can depict it in pictorial form. You can then present the ring and ask your significant other to marry you. Phew! (Chills. Literal chills).

10. Write it on a telescope’s lens

Do you occasionally gaze at the stars? Are you both fond of the cosmo? Then this is definitely something that you should give a try. Buy a telescope for your significant other as a surprise the day you are going to ask them to marry you. But get the lens imprinted with the words ‘will you marry me?’ instead of asking it directly. When your partner would try to see through the lens, they would be greeted with the unexpected question. And the best about it would be that it is through something that they like so they can keep the telescope as a souvenir of the engagement for themselves.

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11. Build the message using Lego

The one thing that you should remember when popping the question is that it should always be personal and through something that your partner loves. So, if your significant other is fond of Lego, this would be the perfect proposal idea for you. Firstly, you would need to buy several boxes of Lego to go through with this idea. And just so you know, they are costly. At least the original ones are. But since we live in India, it is very easy to find duplicate Lego in any toy shop. They are extremely cheap and would do the trick just as well.

Secondly, you would need to dedicate some space, maybe a room that your partner can’t or does not access. And lastly, you would have to take out time from your schedule to literally build the question using the Lego, which can take a lot of your time. But it would be worth it!

12. Dance in a flash mob

I got this idea from this film I watched a while back called Friends with Benefits starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Personally, I think this is a great way to propose to your significant other. So let us get to it.

The first thing you need to do to achieve this is to find a place where you can carry out the proposal. And since it is challenging to find empty spaces in India, you can choose a quiet park or book an event hall for this. Then, you would have to find a group of dancers who would be willing to do a dance routine around your significant other. And then, when the music stops, you can go down on one knee and pop the question. Romantic, isn’t it?

It is okay if you can’t find professional dancers. You can always have your friends and family help you out with the proposal. That would make it more personal, too.

13. At the bottom of their coffee mug

Calling in all the coffee lovers for this out-of-the-box proposal idea. This one requires a bit of work but what is a proposal if it does not grind you a little? For this proposal idea, you would need to buy a mug and get the inner bottom of it imprinted with your question. You can choose the morning time to pop the question because then you can offer coffee and breakfast to your significant other without any suspicion. And when your partner would get at the bottom of the mug after finishing their coffee, they would be greeted with those four magical words when they would least expect it.

14. At your usual jogger’s park

Even in a million years, you would not expect to get asked to marry someone while you are sweating and having your blood rush to your head. All that in a tracksuit. Well, if you would not, what makes you think your partner would? And that is indeed why this is such a great and unique way to propose your significant other. Moreover, it would also work as a great metaphor.

You see, people (especially women) always feel that they are required to be good looking or presentable at least when they meet a suitor because it would create a positive impression on them. However, imagine the joy it would give to your partner if you show your significant other that you accept them in sweat and tracksuit, without any judgements. You can show them they don’t have to do anything to cast an impression on you because you love them just the way they are. And that is the best kind of love that there is.

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15. Hide the ring in a pop-up book

I don’t know about other adults but I sure as heck am a huge admirer of pop-up books, mainly because of the creativity and the effort that go into their making. However, if you or your partner love pop-up books, too, you can take this as an opportunity to have your proposal revolve around it. You can buy a pop-up book for your partner (perhaps their favourite one) and hide a ring in such a way that it would not be the first thing to pop-up. This would keep things unexpected. For example, in the above image, you may stick the ring with double-sided tape on the butterfly that is on top of the flower.  So, when your partner reaches the middle page, which generally has the biggest pop-up, they would be greeted with a beautiful ring and a question that would change their life.

16. Change your contact name on their phone

What could be more surprising than seeing a different contact name above your partner’s number on your phone? When I was looking for unique proposal ideas, I came across a man who had proposed to his girlfriend through her phone. And I loved the creativity of it because it was so simple, cost-effective and unexpected and yet no one had done it before. We cannot deny the fact that proposals tend to leave a dent in your wallet. Maybe not a big one, but still a dent. So, if you want to make the best out of the limited resources that you have, this proposal idea is perhaps one of the most feasible options.

Simply edit your contact name in your partner’s phone and change it to the words ‘will you marry me?’ Your partner knows your number obviously, and the moment these words would flash on their screen, it would instantly make them happy. Isn’t that creative and smart at the same time?

17. Make the pilot pop the question

When it comes to wedding proposals, it is essential that you make it as unexpected as possible, even if you have talked about its possibility of happening shortly. So, what better way to pop the questions in a flight? In fact, to make it more unexpected, request the pilot to pop the question for you. They take such requests and help you make your proposal even more special. If you are travelling for a long distance, you might even ask the flight attendants to arrange for champagne. Imagine how wonderful it would be to get engaged in the air and celebrate the alliance with a great vacation.

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18. Put it on the scrabble board

If you are one of those cool couples, who play Scrabble regularly, neither one of you would be expecting a proposal on it. And that is what makes it one of the best unusual proposal ideas. But you have to be tactical with it. You can either play in such a way that you create the words ‘Will you marry me?’ on the board, or you can make the words all in one go right in front of your partner. In any case, an ordinary Scrabble game can be turned into an incredibly romantic moment filled with joy and maybe some mushiness in the least expected manner.

How did you propose to your significant other? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers.

Categories
Love & Relationships

18 Important Questions Every First Time Dater Should Ask Themselves

First time dating is intimidating. Learn from your seniors. In a country like India where couples cannot even hug without getting squint eyes, dating is a subject that is still finding its place in society. Now, the biggest problem with information getting around through Chinese whispers is that nobody gets any questions answered. So, when to start dating is still a huge question that is lingering in our minds.


If you didn’t already know this, there is no actual legal age to date, which means technically even a 10-year-old can date someone. So, it is important to address the question ‘when is the right time to start dating?’ Because dating is subjective and you cannot truly tell whether someone is of the right age to start dating, there are some questions that help us decide if you are ready to go on your first date.

Whether or not you have been on a date, you must be familiar with the typical questions that people ask on first dates to the person you are on a date with. However, no genius has made a list of questions that you need to ask yourself first. That is because nobody thinks it is important to take your own opinion into consideration, which should be the foremost thing anyone should do. Well, bless heavens! You have come to a place that actually cares about YOU. And that is why here are the 18 questions that every first time dater should ask themselves.

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18. What is my end goal of this date?

Deny it all you want but you always think of an end goal every time you set out for a date. In your case, this would be the first of your many dates in future. But even then, you have an end goal in place. You could either be looking to see what actually happens on a real date or you simply want to meet the person and see if you guys have a spark. And most of the times, the real end goal of any date is to kickstart a love life.

Now, you might think that it does not matter what your end goal of seeing someone is. A date is just a date. But knowing your end goal helps to know where you stand in life. If you are hesitant to go on your first date because you have no particular reason in mind, it may be because you are not mentally ready to have someone else invade your life. What if it works out? Then you would not have a chance to escape from it. And that can be scary!

17. Am I in line with my plans in life?

Ideally, you should only start dating when you know you are not running behind in life. Not that you should put dating at the bottom on your to-do list. But you should have your basic plans in place. For example, we can all agree that the dating age in India, if not legally then at least otherwise, is much lower. Perhaps around 13 or 14. (And before some of you take offence, remember that you can date someone strictly platonically). When you date at that young of an age, you tend to sidetrack your other plans such as studying or pursuing a hobby, which is very important while growing up.

So, if you have no plans other than getting married to the first person you meet, start making some. And if you do have plans, make sure that your life is working accordingly. This is important because you would never truly be satisfied or happy with your love life if it hinders yours already made plans.

16. How is my emotional state?

Generally, very few people are truly aware of their mental and emotional state. But this ability goes for a toss for more than half of those few people the moment they find a potential partner. The reason is that they feel this new person can solve their problems for them or at least be the missing piece of their lives. Well, safe to say, it does not work that way.

Before you even think about setting yourself on a date, ask yourself how good you are emotionally. And this does not mean how in control of your emotions you are. That is a given. But you need to score high on your emotional quotient, too. Your ability to deal with emotional situations should be good enough for you to handle any issues that may arise in your future relationship.

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15. What do I do while I am not dating?

This is a very important question that everyone ought to ask themselves before they begin to date. You should never start dating just because you have nothing else to do in life, even if that is what Bollywood films tell us. You know when the lead character goes “Kuch khaali khaali sa lagta hai life mein. Shayad maine apne liye pyaar dhundhna chahiye.” Again, it does not work that way. You should not be looking for a relationship out of idleness.

What do you do when you are not working or running errands? Do you have a hobby to pursue? If you do, you are probably ready to look into the dating aspect of your life , ut if you don’t, it is better to delay it a little. This is because your relationship should be all about being with someone you actually like or love. If you get into a relationship with a view to kill your boredom, you are playing by the wrong rules, honey.

14. Am I stable in life before meeting a partner?

Stable does not only mean financially and mentally. You need to be at a point in life where things are not falling apart. This could be anything. For some, it is a messed up family that makes it difficult for people to find their ground so that they can have a stable foundation. For others, it could be a trauma that has changed the course of their lives forever and it is tough to go back to living normally again.

You need to be stable to have the responsibility of a partner in your life. You should be aware of what is going on around you. Also, you should not have the ability to zone out or have an attention span of a squirrel. The latter is something that destroys too many relationships these days (Thank you, social media!)

Besides, ask yourself if you have achieved what you wanted. For instance, you might have planned to buy a house by the time you are 23 years old, but that has not happened yet, which may be bothersome to you. In that case, you cannot afford to have a relationship because according to you, you are not stable yet.

13. Can I deal with a partner at this point?

This question is in continuation with the previous question. A relationship changes everything. Even something as small as a good date can leave an impression on your life. Let us consider that you had a good date with this person you had been talking to for quite some time. You would feel happy. But that is not the problem. The problem is if you are an average human being, you are bound to be out of focus. That is just one scenario.

Another is where you actually have a good date, you get into a relationship, but you realise that you still have a lot to figure out about your solo life. In fact, many people resent getting into relationships because they lose their freedom. There is always a sense of belonging when you are in a relationship and if you one of those who love their individuality, space and knowing that you are free to try anything and everything, you would not like being in a relationship unless you have done it all.

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12. What kind of a relationship am I expecting or looking for?

Do you want a committed relationship or are you happy knowing you can see other people by being in an open relationship? First dates have a good chance of leading to relationships and that is why so many of these questions are about relationships and not dates. It is because most of the dates have the potential of becoming relationships. If you think you can’t be tied down because you are a free-spirited person, you might have to find someone who thinks like you. Similarly, if you are looking for a 100% commitment from your partner, you should know it beforehand so you can communicate it properly.

11. Do appearances matter to me?

This is one of the most debated over questions of all time. Some people think it is shallow to like someone on the basis of their looks but to each, his own. It is okay if appearances matter to you. But make sure you acknowledge it. For the simple reason that you tend to lose your interest in your partner if their appearance does not appeal to you anymore. It is not shallow, it is just how you function. So, again, accept it. Don’t give yourself false hopes of being attracted to someone’s behaviour or personality. These qualities may be secondary for you. And that is okay.

Alternatively, you may be sapiosexual and may be attracted to intelligence only. In which case, you should not feel the need to date someone just because you are being pressurised to do so by your peers or family. You would never be happy that way. And that is why it is so important to know if appearances matter to you.

10. What do I consider to be attractive in the person I date?

Let us say that you are attracted to appearances. What part of a person’s appearance are you attracted to? Is it their physique, hair or something completely different than the conventional characteristics? It is essential that you know this because then you know what to look for in your date. Also, it helps you to be prepared for the future. For instance, if you are attracted to your partner’s hair and they go bald due to some reason, would you still find them attractive or would you leave them? Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? But there are thousands of cases where something similar to this has happened and the consequences were really saddening.

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9. How accepting am I of other’s opinions?

You cannot be ready to start dating if you have a zero-tolerance policy against everything that does not please your opinion. People who are adamant tend to have a higher rate of unsuccessful relationships. To start dating, you should have an open mind and be a sport to learning something new. It is impossible to be with someone if you can’t respect other’s opinions. So, if you are not accepting enough, maybe you should try spending time learning acceptance first instead of looking for potential partners. You would have a high chance of finding a happy relationship once you do that.

8. What will be my relationship status?

Do you want the world to know you are in a relationship or do you want it to be a secret? You need to know this before you set foot in the dating scene. And to know that, you should know the answers to the above questions including knowing whether you are emotionally or financially stable. Without that, it would really tough to know what relationship status you are looking for.

Especially in India, dating is a huge deal. So, you need to decide if you want your parents to know about who you are seeing before you start dating. How will they react? Are you willing to introduce your relationship to your peer group? If the answer is fitting, you might be ready to start dating.

7. Do I get influenced easily?

It is human tendency to go with the flow. Unless you are really in control of your life, it is very easy to get influenced by your partner. A really simple example of this is the people who get influenced to start drinking or smoking weed because their partners do it and they don’t think they have much of a choice when they are with their partners. They know it is wrong for them but their partners are so influential that they actually begin substance abuse within a few months of the relationship. For the simple fear of feeling left out.

Therefore, if you forget to reason, understand why you do what you do, justify your actions, and get influenced just because you have a big-time FOMO, you are not ready to start dating.

6. Am I financially independent?

Many people think your financial situation has got nothing to do with your dating scene. Well, there is a connection there. You need money to go out, have fun and even travel to the venue of the date. Imagine having a financial arrangement wherein you have zero rupees left in your pocket within the first 15 days of the month. Where would you find the means to provide for your dating life? You can’t rely on your dates to pay for you, irrespective of your gender. You should be independent enough to pay for your own bill after the date. So, if you can’t see yourself doing that or have a plan to get out of that mess anytime soon, you probably should not create more problems for yourself by looking out for a relationship.

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5. Does my potential partner’s financial condition matter to me?

Your partner’s financial condition would matter to you only in two situations – firstly, you have an unstable monetary pattern and you want someone who can take care of that and balance you out. Secondly, you are very capable and/or belong to a well-to-do family so you want someone who can match your background and lifestyle. While the latter reason can be termed as valid because everyone is free to choose who they want to be with, the former is not such a solid reason.

If you are struggling with your finances, don’t forget that only you can help yourself with it and nobody else. Having your money is greater security than having to rely on someone for making your ends meet. In fact, in some relationships, the earning partner tends to lose respect for the financially dependent partner. And that is not an ideal scenario that any relationship should have.

4. Am I capable of managing my time between my family, friends, work and a partner?

Dating is a bigger responsibility than we think. Generally, most of the people in India start dating at an early age these days. Therefore, we rarely get time to think about what we are getting our hands into. It is difficult to forecast what a relationship is going to turn into so, you must be prepared beforehand.

You are required to divide your time into four different things once you start dating. The schedule that you follow now calls for a change. Regardless of how busy you are, you are expected to give time to your friends, family, partner and yourself. However easy this may seem, it really is not.  In fact, sometimes, it is so difficult to do it that we end up compromising the time that we set aside for ourselves. As a result, you become annoyed and start resenting being in a relationship, which is the worst phase in any relationship.

So, if you do not know how to manage your time right now, you should probably put the whole dating scene on hold till you figure it out.

3. How is my relationship with myself?

Are you happy?

Humans have a very twisted perception of relationships. And we can blame society for that. Since childhood, we are taught to behave in a way that makes us more desirable within society. We are told to impress to be accepted. So, after hitting the dating age, we begin to find people who would accept us. Subsequently, you start looking for validation. And in the process of knowing what others feel about you, you completely ignore how you feel about yourself. That is a grave mistake!

If you are happy with the relationship you have with yourself, you will be happy with anybody because you would not be looking for anyone to find your happiness in life for you.

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2. Do I prioritise things well?

Prioritising is a vital aspect of dating. In fact, it is an art. Those who can master it will definitely end up having more meaningful relationships. You should always have a schedule in place i.e., not only your daily routine but also your schedule in life. You must have your goals in order. And dating someone should not affect or disturb your goals in any way. if you are one of those who loses focus every time something new, different or exciting happens to them, dating may not be ideal for you at this stage. Instead, try improving your ability to pay attention to your goals and once you are set, you may give dating a try.

While this does not mean that you should procrastinate having a love life but you must surely make sure to serve yourself only as much as your plate can handle.

1. Am I ready to start dating?

Lastly, this question tops the list because it is the most important one. Going on a date does not mean you are simply going out to dine or hang out with a person. Surprisingly, it actually means that you are mature enough to handle another person’s responsibility. However, before you take someone else’s responsibility, you need to make sure that you are ready for a change. This means you need to have a healthy relationship with yourself.

Your commitment to yourself should be unwavering. You ought to know who you are, what you want and what makes you comfortable and happy. This is because the only thing that can make your date or the potential relationship a successful one is if you have a strong relationship with yourself.

What questions did you ask yourself before you started dating? Write them down in the comment section for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

What Happens When You Ask Google for Relationship Advice?

We are so accustomed to using Google that it has now become almost a tradition to search answers on it for all our questions. But what happens when you ask Google for relationship advice?


Top 10 Most-Searched Questions on Google About Relationships

10. What Does A Healthy Relationship Look Like?

One of the most searched questions was knowing what a healthy relationship looked like. This is the perfect example that shows how much we rely on technology these days. And there is an enormous amount of toxicity oozing out of it.

The problem with this question – The biggest problem with this question is that it perfectly portrays how much we take Google for its words. If you are in a healthy relationship, you would know it. You would feel it. If you are in an abusive relationship and still manage to feel loved and respected no matter how wrong that is, it must be healthy for you because relationships are subjective. You cannot rely on an AI (Artificial Intelligence) to give you a list of qualities that your relationship must have. It will be a general list of crowd-pleasing characteristics.

For instance, your boyfriend could be shabby and lazy but might love you and respect you too much. However, just because your Google search tells you that your partner is not the right one for you, you might try to question your relationship with him.

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9. How Do You Know Your Relationship Is Over?

Another question that makes the list of the top 10 most searched questions on Google is how do you know your relationship is over. Before I address what the problem with this question is, I’d first like to throw some light on what is wrong with us. We, as humans, are constantly seeking validation from others. And this has increased after the emergence of social media. You know with the likes and the long list of followers!

The problem with this question The primary reason that this question is wrong is that you are asking a search engine to tell you if your relationship is over, which, again, is completely subjective. This is something that you should be feeling internally before you go out and search about it. And if you need a blog to give you top 13 reasons to break up, maybe your relationship is not over yet.

8. How To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship?

The 8th most asked question on Google in the year 2017 was how one could get out of a toxic relationship. Finally, a sensible question. This question is about asking for genuine help, which is valid because we all require some kind of advice when we feel that we are stuck somewhere. But again, instead of approaching a human being with actual emotions and an ability to reason, we are asking an AI to provide us with the solution.

The problem with this question – As mentioned above, the biggest problem with this question is that although technology has proven very useful to us for every other thing, using it to get answers to real-life problems is next to stupidity. The only people you should be asking this question to is a professional or a confidant(e) who knows exactly what your situation is like. Someone who would be able to give you a personalised piece of advice rather than one that is given to everyone.

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7. How To Get Over A Relationship?

Two things to remember when asking Google for relationship advice is that it does not know your problem personally and that the advice may or may not be written by an expert. And the latter is something that should worry you the most. Asking this kind of a question online seems like an instinct because it is so convenient and it is certainly better than talking to an actual person. We all get it because we are all the same. But you should also be aware of the problem with this question.

The problem with this question – Somehow Google has become a part of our everyday existence. In fact, we can all vouch for the fact that it has taught us more than any educational institute could have. And for that, we should be grateful. It is true that Google has everything, but there is something that it has no prior experience in. And that is relationships and dating. So, it is similar to asking how to get a divorce to someone who has never even been in a relationship ever! When you put it like that, it makes complete sense, doesn’t it?

6. What Is An Open Relationship?

Most of the people who are asking this question are either doing it out of curiosity or interested in being in this kind of an arrangement. And considering where today’s dating scenario is leading to, it seems as if people would much rather have their cake and eat it at the same time instead of sticking to monogamy.

The problem with this question – Polyamory and open relationships are becoming exceeding common these days. Surely you would not get to see either one of them in Indian society because it is not being practised so openly. At least for now. However, most of our beloved Bollywood celebrity couples, who are #couplegoals for so many of their fans, are the ideal example of how open relationships can’t work for too long. So, if you are looking for this question just out of curiosity, you are all right. But if you are searching for it because you are looking to get into an open relationship, you should know the responsibility and the rules of such an arrangement very clearly.

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5. How To Save Your Relationship?

To understand what is wrong with this question, let us take a hypothetical situation. You are drowning in a sea while being surrounded by a gam of sharks. Being all alone, you neither have a life jacket nor a boat that you can get on. Suddenly, you realise that you have a phone and yay! You have got reception. In the middle of the sea. That is miraculous, isn’t it?

So, while the sharks are still deciding whether they want to kill you or not, you quickly dial your mom’s number and ask her how you can save yourself from losing too much data on your phone. Wait. What? That did not make any sense. That’s right because just like this question, this hypothetical story and its awkwardly written premise do not make sense.

The problem with this question  Why would you call up your parent who perhaps is not even tech-savvy and ask about how to save data while you are drowning? Similarly, Google is not a dating expert. And your question is totally vague. How to save your relationship from what? It is incomplete. It is impossible for even an expert to answer that question with that amount of information. Google works on keywords. And that is the only filtering it is capable of doing.

4. What Is A Poly Relationship?

There is very little to explain here because the problem with this question is the same as the one with the 6th question. However, what you should understand is that polyamory and open relationships are two entirely different concepts. In a poly relationship, everyone who is involved is allowed to have multiple partners. It is okay to fall in love with these partners if you do. However, it should be strictly causal if you are in an open relationship. Exploiting the concept for your convenience may not be acceptable in either of the two relationships.

The problem with this question – See question 6.

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3. How To Build Trust In A Relationship?

Seriously? And this is the third most-asked question on the internet. Our generation is seriously messed up because we ask Google the answers to any darn question. It would not be too long before we actually look up “how to ask Google a question?” while actually typing it. Sounds dumb now but mark my words, this might just turn out to be real.

The problem with this question – The fundamental element that relationships are lacking these days is communication. People have become so used to interactive AI that it is painful for them to put their phones aside and talk to the people around them. And that is exactly what an overdose of technology is.

Here is the answer to the question – observe your partner. Interact with them. Learn about their likes and dislikes. Know what pushes their buttons and what gives them joy. And once you know them well enough, you would know exactly how you can build trust in any of your relationships. Because there is no shortcut to gaining someone’s trust. Unfortunately, it can’t happen in a day.

2. How To Change Your Relationship Status On Facebook?

Okay. This seems like a genuine problem because we have people here who really want to know how to change their relationship status on Facebook. Let’s dive into the problem straight away.

The problem with this question – This is personally the biggest problem that I have with people using technology. So, I recently bought my mom an iPhone because I could not bear to watch her use her sad Samsung. I called her a week later to check how she was getting along with her new phone, and she told me that she had just managed to understand how to make and receive calls and send texts (despite me teaching her for two days before leaving). Fast forward to a month later, and she is still struggling to use her FaceTime.

My problem is that she spends most of her free time on her phone. And instead of learning about it and exploring it, she wastes her time chatting on Facebook. Blatant misuse of a great phone. Similarly, my cousin bought his iPhone 7 Plus two years back and he found out about FaceTime last week. And guess what? My mom was the one who told him about it! So, you see, even if I cut my mom some slack for being from another generation, what excuse does my brother have?

That is what is wrong with us. We are not too thrilled about learning about the things we have. Instead of asking Google how to change the relationship status on Facebook, this lot of incredibly clever individuals might have simply gone to their settings, explored a little and found out that it is one of the easiest things to do. But by God’s grace, we have become so lazy that doing a little in-app search seems like a more strenuous task than going to another app, waiting for it to load, typing down the question, seeing the results, and getting redirected to another website for the answer does.

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1. How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work?

And finally, the most-searched relationship advice on Google is how to make a long-distance relationship work. Well, this is by far the only remotely acceptable question on this list. And unlike the above question, I would not be making a sarcastic remark on this one. Long-distance dating is difficult. And only the most mature ones can survive because the distance really tests the strength of the relationship. But again, this question is not perfect, and it certainly does not deserve to be asked on Google.

The problem with this question-

You might find some satisfaction after seeing at least a thousand results for your question, but you should not be asking Google for the answer. Simply because every long-distance relationship is unique. No two relationships are the same. So, what might have worked for the writer who is writing the blog may probably not work for you at all. Which means it is highly likely that you are knocking on the wrong door.

So, what happens when you ask Google for relationship advice?

  • You are giving technology the right to make your decisions for you

One thing that you might have picked up from my above rant is that technology is not the most reliable source to get your relationship advice from. In fact, asking Google to solve your relationship problems is like asking a child to teach an adult how to walk. It has no prior experience whatsoever. Also, if you feel the advice that you get from Google works for you, remember that when you are not really interested in giving someone advice, you tell them “do what your heart tells you.” The most general statement packaged as an incredibly philosophical piece of advice that works just as well as a bunch of placebos.

  • What you are getting is futile, bot-generated advice

When you ask Google for relationship advice, you are giving your life in the hands of an AI. It is not capable of giving you sane advice, but it has mastered the art of picking up keywords. It takes your keywords, waits for the spiders to crawl through the web pages to find the best results (even verbatim) and present it in front of you like it actually cares about your question. Sometimes, you don’t even know the source of information, and you still choose to take it because we are hammered with the notion ‘something is better than nothing.’

  • Relationship advice on Google is just like medical advice

Speaking of the source of the information, how many times do you actually take the effort of going to a website that has experts writing its content for it? Don’t bother lying because we are accustomed to taking the first thing that we see. That is not great advice, that is brilliant marketing.

There are very few websites that actually hire experts to write their content for them. Most website owners don’t even know who is writing for them because they have a contract with a content provider who looks after the content section of the web page. These writers are paid so less that research is not something that they can afford to do. So, they resort to reading two or three blogs at the most and paraphrase the information just to avoid plagiarism. With all this, do you think you can rely on the answers that you are getting on Google?

There are no experts most of the times. When you type your question in Google, it magnifies your problem. Immediately, your problem goes from being ordinary or manageable to being the end of the world. Just like every time you have a common rash, you have herpes. Google logic!

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  • You are trying to compare apples and oranges

I have mentioned in this blog time and again that Google’s advice is extremely impersonal and of very less use. So, when you Google your problems, you are reading a piece of advice that is given to another person’s relationship. And no matter how much their problem seems similar to yours, your relationship is still going to be different from theirs.

  • You are likely to ignore your mistakes over your partner’s

More often than not, when you type in a question on Google, it is from your point of view. Your partner’s perspective is not even taken into consideration. You tend to victimise yourself in the question, which allows you to get only biased answers. This does not happen when you ask a professional or a confidant(e) for relationship advice because their ultimate goal isn’t to give you results in less than 0.25 seconds. They would ask you about your and your partner’s views on the situation. They would try to give your problem an emotional take. And above all, they would not take you for your word immediately. They would help you introspect and come to a solution yourself through an unbiased and useful interaction. A healthy way to resolve relationship problems!

What else do you think happens when you ask Google for relationship advice? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

How to Cope With Rejection in Love?

Feeling bad due to rejection is not a sin. Humans operate on a complex network of emotions, and our minds are not very accepting of failures. And that is okay. There is no need to beat yourself up for that. Since this blog is about love and relationships, helping you understand the situation from a spiritual perspective is in order. Behind every rejection, there is a more profound, universal arrangement that you may not comprehend right away, but you surely would eventually as time would go by. But until then, there is a process that as a human being you can surely be a part of.

The process of coping with rejection does not involve any tricks. There are no mathematical calculations. And certainly, you would not be bestowed with some fancy mantra that would speed up your recovery. But there is a sure shot way of driving your blues away and finding peace once again. And although it is hard, if you can find a little patience in you to make yourself happy again, these amazingly effective tips would surely get you up and running after a grey phase.

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5 STAGES OF GRIEF

You might have heard about it, but now it is time to put it into an application. The best way to overcome rejection is by knowing exactly which of the five stages of grief you are on. Once you identify that, it becomes a little less challenging to cope with a rejection. Let us walk through each stage to know exactly where you stand.

Denial

This is the first stage of grief. And it is probably the most toxic one. Simply because you don’t know that you are hurt. And even if you do know it, you don’t acknowledge your feeling. It is difficult to get over a rejection if you don’t accept the fact that you have been rejected. You can’t fix the things that you don’t think are broken. Denial is the most common way of grieving. All those hate crimes aired on Crime Patrol are all a product of denial. The criminals fail to acknowledge that they have been hurt and they directly skip to the next stage; anger, which ultimately leads to them committing a crime. Not quite healthy, right?

If you have been rejected, avoid living in denial. Of course, acknowledging the rejection will hurt more, but you would, in turn, be opening a path to healing.

Anger

Anger is the second step toward healing. Once you have accepted your emotion in its original form, you get to work with it. So, you vent out your frustration somewhere. Anger is the most primary defence emotion. Channel your anger toward more productive stuff. Yes, you have already heard this a million times, and it is better said than done. But there is no rush. Take your time!

The easiest thing you can do is make art. We are all artists and directing your anger toward producing art gives birth to some of the best artworks. If you are a songwriter, quickly grab a book and a pen every time that you are angry. Write down the meanest lyrics that you can think of. If nothing, it would make for a great heavy metal song. But keep it going. The more you write, the faster you would get tired of being angry, and that would ultimately push you to the next stage.

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Bargaining

You are in the safe zone for some time if you are in the bargaining stage. Here, you try to rationalise things and try to find explanations. You justify the actions of everyone involved just to come to a satisfactory conclusion so, you can finally sleep well at night. But be careful, because there is a high possibility of you getting obsessed with finding out why it happened to you.

Understand that you cannot always find an answer to everything. And as much as I hate to write this down, sometimes ‘yeh kyun, why, kaiko ka jawaab nahin hota.’  Oh, Salman! What have you done?

Try not spiralling down the lane of disappointment. Don’t get vacuumed into the painful void. Because you have to get yourself to the next stage, which is only possible if you stop questioning and learn to accept what happened.

Depression

Now that you are filled with a plethora of unanswered questions, you have successfully managed to drag yourself into the fourth stage of depression. It sucks but be assured that there is something awesome waiting for you. Now is the time when you can ask for help and actually begin to get well. Before this stage, the only person who could help you was you. So, asking someone to pull you out of your misery would not have actually worked.

Meet professionals and take their help to analyse your emotions. Connect with yourself when you are at your lowest. This is the best time to know yourself.

Acceptance

The healthiest stage of them all, the green zone, this is your light at the end of the tunnel. Acceptance is the key! When you accept your feelings and make them feel wanted, they stop hurting you. Yes, this may be an absolutely ridiculous personification of emotions, but it is true. Treat your emotions as a part of your own self. They are not foreign. Your feelings make you a human being. So, when you acknowledge them, you accept that you are capable of getting hurt. You learn that it is not the end of the world and that there is more to life than just a petty rejection. Now, it would definitely seem petty.

Some people might argue and ask how difficult can getting over a rejection be that it requires you to go through the five stages of grief. But if you come to think of it, every person goes through these stages when they are hurt. Sure, everyone has their own speed of recovering. Some dwell upon one stage longer, whereas some get through them so quickly that they don’t even realise that they went through them.


11 Effective Ways of Coping with Rejection in Love

1. Don’t be afraid to feel the pain

Your feelings are the best part of you. And I am not saying it just to cheer you up. It is something that sets you apart from a robot. It is not criminal to feel pain. You are only reacting the way you were meant to react. You are wired that way. When you avoid feeling pain, you deprive yourself to feel like a human. And that is when you begin to question your self-worth because you are not sure of who you truly are. Therefore, allow yourself to be just as much sad as you are happy. There is nothing wrong in that.

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2. But don’t pity yourself

Why did it have to happen to me? How can I live with myself after this? What did I do to deserve this?

Are these lines sounding familiar to you? If yes, you are in extreme self-pity, my friend. Stop asking yourself easy questions. On the contrary, ask yourself ‘how would I never let myself feel this way again? And ‘what should I do to be happy?’

3. Don’t blame yourself either

It did not happen because of you. It happened because it was bound to happen. The universe does not have you at its target nor does it have a gun perpetually aimed at you. Think of it this way. In a world of approximately 8 billion people, everyone has to be hurt at least once to retain the balance. You were rejected once. But the rest of the days are yours. It was your day today. It will be someone else’s tomorrow.

4. Go back to see if this has happened before

It is time to do some self-analysis. Has it happened before? If it has, try looking out for a pattern. While you should not be blaming yourself for being rejected, you don’t necessarily have to sit in one place and accept your fate. Instead, go out and make things happen. Nobody is perfect, and you can always use some improvements. Remember that making yourself better would only make you happy.

5. Bring out the critic in you

You are your best critic. Instead of justifying your habits or behaviour, take help of a certain thing called ‘constructive criticism’ and make the necessary changes. Also, learn to distinguish between criticising and being critical. While one is positive and has the power of turning your life upside down for the better, the other is extremely negative and can keep you melancholic.

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6. Choose happiness over anything else

Learn to be happy. Being single has a lot of perks. Embrace them. And get this tattooed if you can, but if you are not happy alone, you will never be happy with someone else. You should be willing to enjoy your company before enjoying that of the others. The best way to do this is by spending time with yourself. Take yourself out to dine, watch a movie alone or take yourself shopping. You would realise that you are quite an interesting person.

7. Don’t shy away from getting professional help

Sometimes, a rejection can leave a deeper impact on you than you could have imagined. It can cause a kind of trauma that can be challenging for you to deal with. In such a case, instead of fighting it alone, get help. We know Indian societies still don’t accept counselling as something that is normal. But you should do everything you can to be happy, even if it means breaking the barriers.

8. Listen to some happy music before sleeping

Music is the best cheerleader. It has the power of making you either extremely sad or incredibly happy. And we are aiming at the latter here. In fact, listening to happy music before sleeping can help you sleep better as well as wake up feeling fresh the next day. And why just before sleeping? Fill in the void with some background music every time you are running an errand or even when you are walking down the street. It is better to transpose to a happy place through your music than to walk alone ‘on the boulevard of broken dreams.’

9. Know that the one who rejected you has been rejected by someone else, too

No one is perfect. There is a good possibility that the one who rejected you might have been rejected by someone else. Like I said before, you are not alone. Everybody hurts someday. And it is okay to feel sad for a while. But don’t let that feeling govern your entire life that is ahead of you. Draw some emotional boundaries for yourself. Be stronger. And know that there is nobody in this world who has not been rejected. If nothing else, knowing this helps you recover faster than otherwise.

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10. Avoid being too self-involved

You would feel more hurt due to being rejected if you keep to yourself. In these cases, extroversion truly helps. Never be self-involved when you are going through a healing process. Socialise with people. In fact, take this as an opportunity to do something for others. When you contribute to society, you feel less self-conscious because you know you are a productive individual. It also helps you gain appreciation, which goes a long way, too.

11. You are not the only one

As mentioned earlier, there are close to 8 billion people in this world. Is it possible to entirely dismiss the probability of having no one else who is feeling what you are feeling or has gone through what you have? Not possible, right? And you are right! A thousand people are going through the same process that you are and another thousand that have already been healed. You are no different. You will, too, find your happy place soon.

How do you cope with rejection? Write it down in the comment section below and help out your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

How Good Are You With Relationships? The Perfect Check List is Here

Forget about dying alone. Your biggest fear in life should be being a bad partner. Nothing can be worse than providing someone with an utterly disappointing relationship experience. It is one thing to never find the love of your life but finding the one and losing them because you were not good enough is a whole new level.

So, how can you be good at relationships? Well, firstly, toss those philosophical ‘Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ kind of crap out of the window. The only reason those books sell millions of copies is that they are marketed well. I mean, do you see that title? All you need to do is relearn what you already know about relationships. So, regardless of how many psychoanalysing, garbage bin of essays you read, there is nothing that you are going to know that you already don’t know about relationships.

And that is why, today, our primary focus is going to be on helping you reconnect with the original views about relationships that were not contaminated by the social trends. Thus, coming to the question, how good are you with relationships? Theoretically, you are great! You are a social animal that was made for relationships. But we have forgotten our roots. So, here are the 10 most common things that make you good at relationships. You know them. You like them. Once you relearn them, you would be an ideal person to be in a relationship with.

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1. You patiently listen to your partner. Even when you are not quite interested in what they are saying

This is one of the most mature traits of a good partner. You listen to your partner even when you are not interested. And you don’t just pretend. You actually pay attention. It seems simple, doesn’t it? But it requires work! It requires a level of maturity that admits that you have chosen your partner consensually. And not by force. When you are a good partner, you know that it is your duty to listen to your partner’s views and thoughts. Because even if they are not interesting, they are important enough for your partner to tell them to you. Because they matter! And you want to show it to them. So, what better way than to actually listen to what they are saying intently.

2. When your partner is wrong, you are not afraid to correct them

If there is something that makes you a better partner or shows that you are good at relationships, it is this! If you are one of those who don’t go around spilling their knowledge to everyone, then you would totally relate to this. You only correct the people that you think are worth your time and you think you are going to be around for long. Usually, people do not prefer correcting those who they don’t find worth their time or advice. Also, you can’t actually correct someone if you are not paying attention to them. So, it could be considered as a sign of your high involvement in the relationship. And that is something that definitely makes you a good partner in a relationship.

Moreover, it is better if you correct them rather than an outsider does it. For instance, people find it extremely resentful when their partner tries to correct their grammar. But however mad it makes them, you should never shy away from correcting your partner within your four walls. It is better to be embarrassed in front of you than be made fun of in a room full of people. And drawing from my experience, it can go horribly wrong when that happens.

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3. You consider your partner to be your family, no matter how long you have been dating for

It is not about being committed. Nor about knowing how serious you are with the person that you are with. Maturity comes from knowing that your partner is a major part of your life and that they are just as important as your family is, irrespective of how long you been dating them for. No matter how old or new relationship is, it is your responsibility to make your partner feel like they are an integral part of your life.

The importance of a relationship in a person’s life cannot be measured by the time they have spent with each other. And maybe your relationship is a secret and your family does not really know about your partner. But that does not mean that you can’t stand up for them when they need you as you would do for your family. That kind of prioritising is of utmost significance. Therefore, one of the signs of being a good partner is that you consider your partner to be your family. And if you can do that, you are good with relationships.

4. You give your partner the space that they need

Space is NOT a word made up by someone who is afraid to get too close. In fact, giving your partner the much-needed space is one of the most underrated traits of being a good partner in a relationship. While in some relationships, space is something that is extremely natural, in others, it is a privilege. The latter type of relationships is all around you. Such relationships are practically toxic as they frustrate the individuals who are involved in it more than give them a sense of bliss. They are stemmed from insecurity.

You see, relationships are so fragile these days that they are easily broken. There are relationships that start off with a strong bond and last for as less as a week. This pattern of relationships is very disturbing to an average individual. So, when they find the right one for them, they overcompensate. Which means that they make sure that they do everything to keep them around, even if it means that they have to do it as aggressively as keeping their partner under a house arrest and break all their partner’s friendships.

Of course, you did not think space could be this important. But you realise how horrifying it can be when you put it realistically!

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5. You wait for them to come around after a fight

One of the signs of a bad partner is giving up. If you give up in a relationship after every small fight, then I am sorry, Chandler, you would find it very hard to be in successful, long-term relationships. Because relationships don’t work that way. One of the signs of being a good partner and being good at relationships is that you never refuse to give your 100% to the relationship.

You know you are a good partner when you are ready to lend your ears to your partner, no matter how insensible they are sounding to you. Your mature self waits for your partner to come around after you have just fought so that you can have a rational conversation about it. And when your partner does come to you, you are not ready to jump them with preconceived notions or assumptions about their behaviour. You wait for your turn to speak because you know that it is the right and the more grown-up thing to do.

6. You don’t try to outsmart your partner even if you are more intelligent than them

Here, we are going to assume that you are the more intelligent one in your relationship. You may or may not be. Who knows? But let’s just consider you to be the more level-headed of the two partners.

One thing that Kevin Hart’s standups teach you about relationships is that the moment you try to act clever is the moment you mess up. Therefore, let us just presume that we are humans and we are bound to make errors. When you try to outsmart your partner in a cunning way, you are actually being condescending to them. This helps you feel superior about yourself. This kind of behaviour shows how petty you are, which would catch up with your self-worth in the long run. Also, such behaviour shuts out your chances of having an adult relationship at any point in time. So, you are losing more than just your self-worth. You are putting your one chance of finding the right partner for yourself on the line.

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7. You try to understand your partner’s perspective during every fight

Before you and your partner go your separate ways after a fight, there is something that you as a good partner would do. You would try to understand your partner’s perspective during your fight. It is essential to know where the other person is coming from before you begin to place blame. What may seem insensible to you may make perfect sense to your partner. Thus, dismissing their thought system completely and asking them to accept yours is kind of foolish.

The end objective of a fight or an argument usually is to get your partner to accept your perspective. So, when you are not open enough to accept their point of view, don’t expect them to accept yours. For no matter how much you try, they would not accept your opinion unless you agree to theirs. So, you need to come to a reasonable solution. What suits you should be something that works for them, too. Because let us not forget that this is a two-person relationship that we are talking about and not just you.

When you come to think about it, relationships are just like business deals. The only difference is that there is a little more emotion involved. The negotiation, otherwise, is uncannily the same.

8. Your partner’s other close relations do not threaten you

They can go out with their friends just like you have the right to go out with yours. If your partner is working late in their office and you happen to call them just when they are not around their phone and someone else picks up, it should not bother you. Even if it is someone of the opposite sex. Why? Unless your partner is showing multiple signs of cheating on you, there is nothing you should feel threatened about.

You tend to do the dumbest things when you panic, which is something that happens when you feel threatened or insecure. A person who is good at relationships knows what their insecurity can turn their relationship into – a breeding ground for resentment and sorrow. Trust is the foundation of love. Love is what keeps a relationship happy.  On the other hand, possessiveness and jealousy are stemmed from self-doubt, which is your problem, not your partner’s. So, even if your partner is hanging out with another group of people, if at the end of the day they are coming back to you, it is not worth jeopardising such a relationship with your insecurity.

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9. Not having a heart to heart does not trigger you

Now that you are adults, there are more things in your life than just talking about your feelings. This may seem like a heartless thing to say because as blogs, we are supposed to tell you exactly what you want to hear. But I beg to differ. A grown-ups life is a little more complicated than simply sharing what they are feeling. You have various commitments. If you are living with your partner, you have errands to run. There is so much to do besides just going to work, which is no more 9 to 5, by the way. These days jobs are so demanding that it would be a miracle if you could find just two seconds to kiss your partner.

In such a hectic schedule, not having a heart to heart every once in a while should not trigger a good partner to react aggressively. Because they know exactly that there is just so much a human being can do. They would surely talk to their partners about it to try to come to a solution. However, guilt-tripping is not something that they would prefer doing. So, if this is something you can relate to, you probably are good at relationships.

10. You are independent enough to take care of the house alone

Since we are on the subject of living together, here is another trait of a good partner that you can consider. When you are living with someone, (anyone!) your primary objective should be not to make them feel like they have made a wrong decision by letting you in. Now, this does not mean that you constantly act like you are indebted to the other person or anything. It simply means that you are good at making the other person comfortable in your company.

Take note especially if you are living with someone who has an OCD for their stuff. Consider their house as your own and share the work. A person who is good with relationships knows that they have to show their partner how independent they are time and again. Doing this increases the level of trust between the two partners because you tend to trust a grown-up more than a child. Human psychology!

If you are able to show signs of independence when your partner is around, they would trust you with their stuff even when they are away. And as mentioned earlier, trust is the core of any healthy relationship. Imagine the kind of relief your partner would get knowing that they do not have to worry about you or the house while they are away. You know you are good at relationships when your partner can publically say, “Oh I don’t have to worry. *Your name* can take care of that while I am away.” A compliment and a sense of pride. Not a bad combination, I suppose.

What, according to you, shows how good you are with relationships? Write down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

Another 9 Hindi Movies that Teach Us More About Relationships Than Anything Else

**SPOILERS AHEAD!**

After writing the previous part of this article, I could not stop myself from finding out more movies that teach us about relationships. So, after digging for a good five hours, I realised that I had missed out on some good films that did not have an in-your-face kind of relationship lessons, which is what makes them interesting to analyse. If you have not already read it, I suggest you first check out the first part of this blog before you read on further and come back for this one. Done? Great. Let’s discuss another 9 Hindi movies that give us awesome relationship lessons and tips that can make our relationships slightly better.

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1. Pyaar Ka Punchnama

The film that includes the monologue that set the theatres on fire, Pyaar Ka Punchnama was an obvious choice for this list. The film revolves around different types of relationships and is perfect for the Indian dating scenario. If you have not got a chance to watch it yet, the film is about three men dealing with three different types of girls in three different relationships. It tackles the problems that men face when they are dating. Obviously, the film inclines more toward the males but in a hilarious way. What is funny is that it is actually very relatable and as a woman, I approve of every bit of it. But the relationship that you should look out for is the one between Rajat and Neha. While they appear to be a normal couple from the outside, only Rajat knows the hits he takes when Neha is around.

We see Neha taking advantage of Rajat’s niceness and putting him in situations that are bound to leave him helpless. Another thing that I like about their relationship is that it is very real. It happens in almost every relationship.

Lesson –

Pyaar Ka Punchnama shows the real side of ‘slightly’ successful relationships. If you don’t know how to answer your woman’s neverending questions, this is something that you must watch. The film also features a scene where Rajat explains what it is like to shop with women and how it is frustrating for them to watch us drag them to the mall to buy the curtains for the house and return home with a pair of slippers. In fact, I believe that the movie offers more lessons to women than men. I mean I confess that it allowed me to introspect and helped me to become more tolerable in relationships.

2. Talaash

I know we tend to excite about everything that Aamir Khan does but this film did not deserve all the praise that it got. However, I can say this without a shadow of a doubt that Talaash has some of the best relationship lessons that Bollywood has ever offered. Besides the beautiful songs, the relationship shared by Surjan and Roshni is one to look out for. Having lost their only son, their chemistry fails. As a result, their marriage begins to fall apart.

While Surjan is trying to find a rational way to deal with his emotions through his work, Roshni seeks a more philosophical and emotional path. They are so busy trying to wrap their head around their son’s death that they forget they still have a marriage to take care of. This stirs a lot of misunderstandings and fights due to communication gaps. Although things fall into place eventually, there is a lot of uphill struggle that the couple has to face before finding their silver lining.

Lesson –

This may seem a little harsh to some people, but the truth is that your spouse or partner is your first family when you are in a relationship. And like it or not, you have a bigger duty toward them than anybody else. Even your kids. You would never be able to provide your children with a happy home if your equation with your partner isn’t right. As a couple, you are bound to experience hardships, which may not be forgiving at times. But the only way to get out of it is by never leaving your partner’s side.

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3. Rockstar

If you have read the previous part of this article, you would already know that I am not particularly fond of Imtiaz Ali’s filmmaking. Rockstar could have been an outstanding film, but he failed to do justice to it. Also, thanks for casting Nargis Fakhri. She just put life into the script. (Lol. No. Just kidding!)

Rockstar is about Janardhan, who aspires to a musician but finds it difficult to find his muse. To get inspiration for his music, he decides to get his heart broken by a Heer. While he gets what he wants, he leads himself to a self-destructing path. He becomes rebellious and goes from Janardhan to Jordan. But he also gets more than he bargained for. Having got himself involved with a Heer who wants to try everything before her upcoming wedding, he loses track of himself and gets stuck in a messy love affair where there is no coming back from.

Lesson –

If you notice, I was not able to tell you much about a film that goes on for more than two hours. That is because there is not much content in the film and just a lot of picturesque cinematography. But one thing that you learn from this movie is you never know who you fall for when and how. You can’t always control your feelings no matter how commanding you are. Furthermore, the film emphasises on how you must keep your individual identity even if you are in a relationship. No matter how influential your partner is, never let them change you for worse.

4. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

What I love about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is that it explores various issues that adults face in life. And also because, as my boyfriend says, “it feels like it is a tribute to Dil Chahta Hai.” One of the finer films in Bollywood, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara journeys through the lives of three ‘amigos’ who go on their much-planned trip to Spain for one of the men’s bachelor party. While everything seems reasonable on the outside, they realise that each one of them is facing a problem that the other two have no clue about. Also, they recognise that all their issues are stemming from their messy relationships with either family or partners.

Let’s discuss Kabir’s and Arjun’s relationships. Kabir is about to get married to Natasha who has gone from an overly ambitious woman to someone who has her life revolving entirely around their marriage and nothing else. While Kabir loves her, he prefers Natasha to have her own life even after the wedding, which is something that does not resonate with her. And that is why even after being in love, he decides that he would be better off without marrying her. On the other hand, Arjun is a well-settled broker who has made a name for himself after a rough childhood. For him, money is everything. And he is willing to get it at the cost of his relationship, too. While his intentions are good, his enthusiasm toward luxury makes him miss out on stable love life.

Lesson –

The message is quite clear in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. In Kabir’s case, we realise that losing your individuality is a big turn off for him. While you may be someone who is head over heels in love with your partner, what they may be attracted to could be your independence and your work ethic. Kabir finds Natasha attractive only until she is ambitious. The moment she makes him her whole life, the deal is off for him. On the contrary, Arjun is so ambitious about his work and earning luxury for himself that he turns a blind eye toward everything else including love. He is only able to find what is best for him when he decides to create a balance in his life. And that is some lesson right there.

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5. 7 Khoon Maaf

I honestly feel that this brilliant story was poorly executed and that is the only crime it should pay for. 7 Khoon Maaf tells a tale about Suzanna who is so unfortunate that she finds six husbands so bad that the only way to get rid of them is by killing them off. I know it sounds a bit overdramatic, but you can’t blame her. She marries an abusive major, a lying drug addict and musician followed by a poet who moonlights as a sadomasochist. She then marries her fourth husband who turns out to be a Russian spy, a policeman who turns out to be a sex addict and finally, a doctor who tries to poison her for her inheritance.

Suzanna spends her entire life trying to find a man’s love and picking up after her partner’s mess. And when it is too much to handle and no improvement in sight, she decides to get rid of them. You would have to watch the film to see why her murders are justified because it is an experience. But above all, it has six great relationship lessons.

Lesson –

Just like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, it is clear what we can learn from 7 Khoon Maaf. Every human being has a set limit. They tend to be a rogue when they are pushed beyond this limit. Now, while everyone has a different manifestation, pushing someone’s buttons do not end in a hurrah. Ever! You may have great chemistry with your partner, and they may love you, but there is always a boundary that you should know better than to cross. There is no turning back once you pass it. And the outcome of that would not be something that you would like.

6. Nishabd

I despise this film. But I truly love the concept. The filmmakers of Nishabd dared to pick up a topic that is such a taboo across the world and for all the right reasons. A young girl falling in love with an older guy is still frowned upon in today’s day and age because it is not something that we are comfortable to look at. And let’s face it, we approve of only those things that we can make sense out of. Anything that does not fit our criteria of being sensible is tossed out of the window. So, there is no word for a relationship that occurs between an old man and a young girl. And that is why it is nishabd.

The film tells the story of a man named Vijay who is in his sixties who falls for his daughter’s much younger friend, Jia. This naturally odd relationship stirs up a whirlwind of problems in his family for its obvious unacceptable nature. Although the relationship is consensual, it violates the sanctity of Vijay’s marriage and Jia’s friendship with Vijay’s daughter. However, this does not stop both these people from justifying their indigestible love.

Lesson –

We all know that we are allowed to fall in love with whomever we want to. Now more than ever. And it is true that a relationship is a two-person affair and only the people involved in it have the right to give an opinion on it. But the real question is should we fall in love with someone at the expense of their family? It is a different subject altogether when both the individuals have no ties whatsoever. But when a relationship is built on a foundation that can destroy a family, it should not be continued with. A relationship that begins by hurting several people against their consent is already an unsuccessful one. And that is why there can neither be a name to such a relationship nor would it be accepted.

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7. Baghban

Apart from being a torture weapon used by our parents to guilt-trip us for no reason, there is no doubt that Baghban tells the story of one of the best relationships we can ever know. The film is about an affectionate couple, Raj and Pooja, who decide to go and live with their kids post-Raj’s retirement from his job. Despite having a loving family, their life turns upside down when they realise that their children (all married) are not as excited about living with them as they are. Limited resources and finance lead to the children coming up with a plan to separate both their parents from each other for six months as they can accommodate only one of them at a time. Having no alternative and zero miles to carry on their independent livelihood, the couple decides to live away from each other.

Lesson –

Let’s jump straight to the lesson. The best part about Raj and Pooja’s relationship is that there is a high level of trust and respect from both the partners. So, they can keep their relationship a success even when they are away and have no means of regular communication. (They have a telephone, but they are not allowed to use it much). And even though their love wins against the test of distance and time, what really keeps them going is knowing that they would soon be together. If we shift our focus from the cheesiness of the entire plot, we can see what true love does to a relationship. It can transcend any problems that your relationship may be facing. It is true what they say, “love conquers all!”

8. Chalte Chalte

I recently had the chance to watch this film and was mildly surprised by its storyline. I know I am a bit too late, but I am not a fan of cheesy romantic films. Raj and Priya get married after Raj passionately pursues her even though she is already set to be married to someone else. She is educated and belongs to a wealthy family. And Raj is still trying to find his place in society. Given Raj’s economic status, Priya’s parents are naturally against their union. But one thing leads to another and they end up tying the knot. What follows is a little dramatic.

Raj is a tad egotistical so, having his wife work to provide for the family is not something that he is okay with. And although Priya is not the one to flaunt her income, Raj’s insecurity and guilt of not being enough lead him to start up fights regularly. Eventually, Priya decides to leave him for good after a misunderstanding strikes their relationship. And everything falls apart. I would tell you the ending, but you might already know it since this is a Bollywood film that we are talking about.

Lesson –

If you have read my previous blog on things that kill a good relationship, you would know that ‘ego’ was the number one cause of breakups among the people that were surveyed. Throughout the film, we see Raj’s ambition overpowering him, but by the end of the climax, we see that it has clouded his judgement to a point where he begins to question his wife’s character. He finds it hard to believe that he is less than his wife’s ex-fiance. So, he acts out. This is an excellent example of what drunk on power ego and power can make you. And if nothing else, Chalte Chalte has at least managed to give us not only a great set of songs but also some good relationship lessons.

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9. Aitraaz

Copied or inspired, Aitraaz remains to be one of my favourite Hindi films of all times. It is gripping and really fresh. I love it when a script challenges the stereotypes of society and helps us see the other side of the coin. And that is what this film does, too. Aitraaz is about yet another Raj (I swear that Bollywood either has a shortage of names or some kind of an obsession with this name) who is accused of sexual misconduct by his old boss’ young wife, Sonia. Being innocent and falsely accused, Raj and his wife, Priya (oh, another Priya), set out to find justice for him.

Now for the twist in the tale, Sonia is actually Raj’s ex-girlfriend who left him to achieve fame and success. Also, being sexually dissatisfied with her husband (the old man), she decides to revive her old affair with Raj in exchange for a promotion.

Lesson –

There are two relationships that we are exposed to, here; Raj and Priya’s marriage and Raj and Sonia’s previous relationship. While the former is a healthy, consensual union, the latter was unequal, mostly selfish and extremely toxic for the man. Sonia is so overambitious that she is willing to achieve her goals at any cost. Even if it means literally throwing herself at a man. And although she gets money and power by marrying her husband, she is sexually frustrated. This tells us that you can either choose to be with a loving partner and slowly climb the ladder to success or you can ditch your love life and get ahead, which would inevitably bring you emptiness.

Furthermore, when Raj tells Priya about the accusation and tries to make her believe that he is innocent, she says something that really hits home. She tells Raj that he does not have to convince her to believe something he says. She would take him for his words. And there is your lesson right there. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, you can neither love them nor be with them. So, if you ever find yourself stuck in a messy relationship, always ask yourself if you can trust your partner. If the answer is yes, you can consider giving your relationship a chance. This is especially useful when you are trying to decide whether or not you want to be with your partner after they have cheated on you.

Which film, according to you, gives out some of the best relationship advice? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

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Love & Relationships

15 Real Facts About Open Relationships that Would Surprise You

The term ‘open relationships’ has taken India by storm now that we are being exposed to western culture more than ever. It is a recent concept that is being accepted by several couples these days. And thus, researchers are trying to figure out how healthy and complicated open relationships are in comparison to traditional relationships. After studying a sizeable number of individuals who are in open relationships, it was found that they are much less complicated than they appear to the outsiders. In fact, another surprising revelation from the study was that individuals in open relationships are happier than those in the traditional, monogamous relationships.

So, if that piqued your interest even a tad bit, here are 15 real facts about open relationships that were found in the recent studies conducted in the years 2017 and 2018 that would interest you all the more. But first, let us understand what open relationships are.

What is an Open Relationship?

In a recent interview, Deepika Padukone revealed that she proposed the idea of open relationships to Ranveer Singh at the beginning of their relationship. She explained that she was “exhausted” after being in several failed serious relationships so, she decided that she did not want to give anyone her hundred percent and actually try casual dating for the first time. But even after having the freedom of doing it, she did not ever go ahead with it. Because she was happy with Ranveer Singh. And there we have it.

The entire concept of open relationships revolves around not being satisfied with just one person. This may not necessarily mean that you are not happy with them. It may just mean that you don’t like confining yourself to one person. Perhaps you want to explore but also have someone who has your back. And there is nothing wrong with that if you can find someone who thinks the way you do and wants the same things.

An open relationship allows you to have more than one partner with whom you can engage in casual physical or sexual activities. However, the catch is that both you and your partner(s) should be willing for it. It is cheating if your primary partner feels that they don’t want you to be involved with anybody else and you still do it. Not only this but also there are rules for being in a consensual open relationship. I have discussed them below to help you better understand this emerging concept.

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Rules of an open relationship

  • You need to plan your schedule because you must know how much time you should give to each of your partners. Couples have strict rules for spending time with their primary partner. Regardless of how many partners you have, your primary partner should be your priority. Also, you have the same responsibility toward them as in a traditional relationship.
  • To make the primaries’ relationship more exclusive, some couples set boundaries for sex, too. This means that there are certain things that both individuals are allowed to do and certain things that are not allowed. You can’t do everything with your new partners when it comes to sex. Some things are off-limits. For example, you may be allowed to have oral sex with your partner but not engage in intercourse. While this does not apply to all couples, some believe in making their own rules.
  • You have to be absolutely honest with your partners. There is high satisfaction among couples who are in open relationships. The reason for this could be honesty. Couples have strong communication in this kind of relationships because they believe in sharing everything with their partners. Right from how many people they are seeing to how often they are seeing them and what sort of chemistry they have with the other partners.
  • While open relationships are all about being with more than one partner, you are not allowed to get romantically involved with anyone other than your primary. The whole concept of open relationships is based on casual sex with multiple people while being in a serious relationship. But you ought to ask your partner for their consent.

1. Only 4% of the people claimed to be in an open relationship

Out of the total sample studied in the year 2018, only 4% of the individuals reported that they were in an open relationship. And although this study was conducted in the United States, we can still apply it here in India. We are becoming more sensitive and open toward the different kinds of relationships in India, thanks to the current chief justices from the Supreme Court (who rock, by the way).

The results from the research show how people are trying to make their own rules and live their lives on their terms. They are not shying away from embracing who they are at the cost of hurting someone else. People, now, are becoming increasingly conscious about the decisions they are taking when it comes to relationships. Things are slowly becoming more consensual than ever.

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2. There is a major difference between an open relationship and polyamorous relationships

Most people tend to confuse between these two, and it is a pretty common mistake. An open relationship involves multiple partners, but these are just casual affairs. There has to be a primary partner in each open relationship. Moreover, falling in love with anyone other than the primary partner is absolutely wrong and unacceptable. The best example of this is the swingers. They have casual physical acts with other couples without having any strings attached.

On the other hand, you can have more than one romantic commitment in a polyamorous relationship. It is acceptable to fall in love with more than one partner. As long as it is consensual and everyone involved mutually agrees on it, it is okay. In fact, India was one of the first countries in the world to accept polyamory. Remember those ancient kings that we hear about who had 40 wives and nearly 50 children? While that is polygamy, the kings did fall in love with more than one woman, and their other wives were okay with it, which made it polyamory. So, if you think India is not very welcoming of such arrangements, you may want to take a look at the ancient Indian scriptures.

3. They are mostly present in sexual minorities

Believe it or not, heterosexual relationships are way more conservative than those of the sexual minorities. Polyamory is found chiefly among homosexuals and other sexual minorities. There is no definitive reason for this, but it could be said that gay and lesbians are more accepting of embracing who you are, regardless of what it is. (Unless it is incest. Don’t support incest, guys. Apart from being illegal in practically every part of the world, it also has dire consequences).

On a side note – I am proud of our sexual minorities. They are welcoming of all kinds of people. There is no judgement or hatred. Their motto is pretty clear; love and let love! It is perfect because there is less interference.

4. People are more satisfied with their primary partner in open relationships

If we take a look at Pornhub’s recent data on the porn viewing habits of Indians, you will notice that they are not something that is either natural or normal. India holds the third position in the list of countries with the highest porn viewership. People switch to porn when they do not enjoy regular sex in real life. Porn provides an escape to release your sexual energy safely. It is clear that more people are becoming sexually frustrated, given the stats. Again, the reason for this could be anything. Furthermore, if we observe carefully, we can see that people have been watching a variety of porn, including lesbians, Asians, and different relations, too. This proves that people require variety in their sex lives.

Open relationships offer individuals a chance to be with different partners. They do not confine you to one particular person. So, you tend to be happier with your primary partner because they are not restricting you. You can be with more than one person but can’t fall in love. And humans are made for something like that. Compare this situation to the attendance criteria in colleges, and you will know what I am talking about. It is only when the college makes it compulsory for you to attend lectures regularly that you don’t feel like going to college. If there are no restrictions, you are happy to attend the lectures because there is no police officer over you who is forcing you to do something.

Remember, only when there are rules that you feel like breaking them. No rules, no rebels!

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5. You can only be romantic with your primary partner

As you read it above, being in an open relationship does not give you a pass to be in love with more than one person. You can fall in love and be committed only to the primary partner. In fact, you need to have the consent of your primary partner if you want to be physical with other people. And only when they approve can you involve a new person in your relationship.

Love is the only element that poses as a restriction in open relationships. And people are actually happy with this rule. Because that is the only thing that helps the relationship succeed and makes it special for the primary couple. That is why more people prefer being in an open relationship rather than a polyamorous one.

6. People in open relationships are more likely to exercise safer sex

The same studies reported another something that came as quite a surprise. The studies concluded that people in open relationships are more likely to exercise safer sex than those who are in traditional relationships. And yet again, there was no concrete reason for this either. But this surely provides some evidentiary support against the popular fact about homosexuals being more exposed to unsafe sex. Did you know that homosexuals are not allowed to donate blood in many places because it is just presumed that they must be having a lot of unsafe sexual activities? It is also assumed that this is likely to contaminate their blood and make it impure. That’s total BS!

The studies found that more than half of the individuals involved in an open relationship tend to use condoms and have a lower rate of sexually transmitted diseases and infections. This may be because they tend to be extra conscious as they have more sexual partners than usual.

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7. They have better communication

This is not a study per se but a general observation. Couples involved in an open relationship have way better communication than those involved in a traditional relationship. There is a rational explanation behind why this happens. Individuals in an open relationship have to take consent of their partners before doing anything. Things like going on a date, finding a new partner, and even engaging in a physical act with someone new requires permission from the primary partner. Hence, they are obliged to exchange every little detail with each other. We don’t have the confirmation on this though.

Besides, I have read about countless couples who actually help their partners pick new partners for themselves. They even help them get ready for the dates. And while not everyone will approve of this, these couples claim that it is something that helps them become even stronger. So, whatever suits them.

8. An open relationship is not a license to sleep around with every person in sight

Yes, we are finally at this point. Open relationships do not provide you with the opportunity to sleep with anyone you want. In fact, couples who are in open relationships feel agitated when outsiders think that. They feel that their relationship sounds impure with that notion. And no couple should feel that about their relationship.

There are two types of open relationships.

  • An open relationship with a set number of partners
  • An open relationship with as many partners as you can mutually agree on

Most couples prefer having an open relationship with only as many as 3 to 4 partners as they feel that is enough for their needs. But some couples do not have a set number, and they accept as many partners as they desire.

9. You can’t escape from your responsibilities

Another misconception that people have about open relationships is that you can get away from fulfiling your responsibilities. It is believed that those in open relationships don’t have to play a definitive role. But the truth is that they are as committed in their relationships as the people in traditional relationships. If anything, they have more responsibilities because they are involved with multiple partners. So, they are required to fulfil their duty toward each one. Also, they have to keep their primary partner happy and satisfied so that they don’t feel left out or neglected. Besides, they enjoy the same routine as others. Dates, family get-togethers, trips and anything else that you can think of, it is all the same.

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10. Open relationships require a lot of discipline

This one is kind of self-explanatory. As humans, we tend to get attached to the people that we engage in physical or sexual acts with. Since open relationships are not for fun, it is extremely important for everyone involved to maintain a certain discipline. Open relationships are strictly for exploring and meeting your sexual needs. Therefore, they must be casual. You can’t have any romantic involvements.

Furthermore, you have to exercise safe sex at all times. You can’t be responsible for spreading any sexually transmitted diseases or infections. So, it is important that you use contraceptive devices wisely. Apart from these, your partners can’t have other partners outside your knowledge. Again, this is to keep things safe. Lastly, you should be honest about everything you do. You can’t have any secrets from your partners.

11. They require a high level of maturity

It is not easy to see your partner go on a date with someone else in your presence. Also, it is tough to accept the fact that your partner is sexually engaging with people other than you. All this requires you to be incredibly mature. You can’t act on your jealousy because everything is consensual. So, if you tend to be possessive in a relationship, open relationships may not be your cup of tea. Additionally, as I have mentioned a thousand times before in this article, you are not allowed to be attached to every person you get romantically involved with. Thus, if you are naive enough to fall in love easily, an open relationship is not something that you would approve of.

12. People in an open relationship do get jealous

Surprise! People in open relationships have feelings. While writing this article, I came across people who had shared their experience of being in an open relationship. They explained how their relationship is different yet very similar to traditional relationships. And one thing that hit me the most was that they all agreed to have been jealous of their partner seeing other people. I realised that these couples were no different. What is different about them is that they know exactly what they want and they are willing to go out and get it.

It requires courage to go out in the world and be different because you would not have it any other way. They know that they would never be happy with only one partner so instead of disappointing their partner or being unfaithful to them, they prefer being in an open relationship. And maybe it is not for everyone, but I can totally see where they are coming from.

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13. Individuals involved in open relationships have fewer commitment issues

One of the things that were analysed in the studies was that the individuals who reported being in an open relationship showed fewer signs of commitment issues. They were secure about their relationship. They were extremely sure of who they were with and what they were doing. The studies found that these individuals completely accepted the fact that they were committed to their partners and would not have it any other way. This was perhaps because they were incredibly satisfied with their relationship. And since they were happy with their partners, they were less afraid of committing to them.

14. You don’t rely on just one person for everything

After reading about open relationships for nearly three days, I found an interesting reason for why individuals preferred open relationships over traditional relationships. People don’t like being too clingy because they feel that it ruins relationships. Also, they don’t like relying on one person for all their needs.

You are required to fulfil all your needs through one partner in a monogamous relationship. This means that you have only one person who is your best friend, emotional support and sexual partner. And if they are not able to fulfil even one role, the relationship loses its balance. Couples in open relationships feel that rather than burdening a single person for all their needs, they should engage with multiple partners who can all play different roles. This makes the relationship less tedious, and your life does not revolve around only one person.

15. Open relationships are not for everyone

Throughout the blog, I have probably mentioned it more than a few times that open relationships are not for everyone. Now that we have discussed some of the most real and interesting facts about open relationships, it is clear that such an arrangement is not a vain one. It is not a cheap escape, either. Open relationships are a real thing. They have rational rules. These are rules that all the partners decide mutually. In fact, you would be surprised to know that various studies prove why humans are not made for monogamy. So, if anything, open relationships are technically more natural than traditional relationships.

Have you ever been in an open relationship? Write down your experience in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

12 Hindi Movies that Teach Us More About Relationships Than Anything Else

**SPOILERS AHEAD!**

There was a time when the world was ruled by romantic films. Every other movie belonged to this genre. But due to a transition, the world moved from these stereotypical love stories and began to explore newer genres. And however experimental today’s films have become, Bollywood continues to make boring, repetitive romantic comedies that don’t belong to this day and age. Every time Bollywood releases a new movie, I am probably one of the first ones to question its sanity and comment on its stupidity. However, there comes a film once in a while that drag the most cynic of people like me to the theatre to appreciate the heck out of it.

In this blog, we are going to talk about films that may or may not be perfect, but they were different. Themed around relationships, these 12 films have given us bigger life lessons than any dating site would. Let’s dive in!


1. English Vinglish

If you read our previous blog on red flags in your partner that you should never ignore, you probably already know what is coming ahead. But if you have not already read it, I suggest you hit the link above and do yourself a favour.

English Vinglish is one of the most well-made movies in Bollywood that really makes you proud of being associated with the country this industry is running in. Apart from being an incredibly feminist and a brilliant motivator to those who find the English language extremely daunting, English Vinglish had some great life lessons, too.

Firstly, the relationship between the husband and the wife is neither equal nor respectful. They are the typical Indian couple bound in an arranged marriage. Sashi is always overwhelmed with a feeling of being lesser than her educated and English-speaking husband and kids. Throughout the film, we see her struggling to achieve better so that she may feel on par with her family. And her final monologue at the end of the film not only gets her respect in her family’s eyes but also brings them closer.

Lesson –

There are actually two lessons to learn from this film.

  • Not all marriages happen between two equal individuals. One may have to struggle more than the other. And it is the other’s duty to support the former one’s struggle.
  • You can only be truly happy in a relationship when you are confident about yourself and know who you truly are. In Sashi’s case, she felt content with her marriage only when she overcame her insecurity of not knowing English.

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2. Ki & Ka

You can always expect something unconventional when R. Balki is behind the camera so, it was not a surprise when Ki & Ka came out. Although promising, the film falls flat on its face by the end. However, considering that we are not here to criticise but simply take relationship lessons from the film, Ki & Ka actually does its job.

Nowadays, every couple is trying to function their marriage obytheir own rules. No two marriages are the same anymore. In Ki & Ka, we get to see one such fresh take on a modern marriage, where Kiya, the ambitious woman, is handling a man’s role (breadwinner) and Kabir, the unambitious man, is the homemaker. And a proud one at that! Hell breaks loose when Kabir begins to get more limelight for being a stay-at-home husband while the overachieving Kiya feels underappreciated for all her hard work at her job. So, while Kabir holds the ground, Kiya feels threatened for her reputation and accuses Kabir of conning her for money and luxury.

Lesson – 

There will be times in your relationship when your partner would get more appreciation for doing something while the other’s efforts may go unacknowledged. This is not an invitation to make a mountain out of a molehill. It is important that you keep your calm and rationally communicate with your partner, hoping that you will come to a reasonable outcome.

3. Piku

I find Piku to be one of the loveliest films ever made in Bollywood. It is fresh, real and extremely relatable. Piku is about that person in every family who works really hard to maintain balance in their family and never truly goes off-duty. There have been enough discussions about Bhaskor and Piku‘s relationship in several blogs but we are actually going to talk about the relationship shared by Piku and Rana. It is one of the most underrated love stories in Bollywood.

Both Rana and Piku are facing a great deal of emotional stress from their families. While Piku bravely takes the bullets without a sound, Rana keeps his defences up at all times when he is around his family. Throughout the course of the film, Rana helps Piku realise that what she is doing is more than what she gets acknowledged for and that she deserves to have a life. Their trip turns out to be incredibly cathartic for both the characters and serves as the much-needed break from their unfulfilled lives. Piku and Rana both create an unspoken bond between them because they realise that they have more in common than they first thought. Moreover, we get to see the birth of pure and mature love that does not need either grand gestures or romantic proses to be recognised.

Lesson –

Sometimes, you don’t need words to express your love. There are other ways to convey that you love someone simply by standing up for them, being by their side, and helping them know who they are. Also, you don’t need fancy dates in private booths to fall in love. You can fall in love while having a conversation at the banks of the river Ganga while being surrounded by a thousand people at 2 a.m.

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4. Tamasha

I really don’t know why people feel the need to praise everything that Imitiaz Ali makes. Like all his other films, Tamasha is something that has a plot that lacks logic, characters with scattered characteristics, and a lot of coincidences that are not at all relatable. However, Tamasha has some great relationship lessons.

Ved and Tara have a somewhat fairytale encounter with each other on their holiday trip. Being enthusiastic and fun-spirited filmy individuals, sparks fly the moment they interact. After having an obvious one night stand, they part ways. Tara returns to India knowing that she has fallen for Ved. As fate would have it, their paths cross once again when in India and they begin dating. But Tara soon realises that Ved is not the same as the first time she met him. He is boring, monotonous and quite the opposite of what she saw of him back in Corsica. Naturally, her love for him begins to fade away as she tries to make sense out of this new situation. And as any other human being would, she emotional quits the relationship.

Lesson –

Tara and Ved’s relationship is the perfect example of what happens when you start dating someone without knowing them completely. Also, it becomes difficult to love someone once you know the other side of them, which is different than what you expected. The right thing to do in this situation is to hold yourself together and decide whether the relationship is worth staying in. In her case, Ved is an adorable man so, breaking his heart is not an option that Tara prefers to opt for. So, she decides to stay. But again, because Ved is still trying to figure out who he is, he is not able to recognise that the very foundation of their relationship is ‘fun.’ And while that happens, it is important for the other to support their partner’s transition, which Tara fails to do. And that is why their relationship loses its balance.

5. Dum Laga Ke Haisha

It is high time Bollywood starts making romantic films that have realistic characters. A heroine can come in all shapes and sizes and a hero does not have to be Mr Smartypants. In Dum Laga Ke Haisha, the makers chose to go with an overweight female protagonist who is intelligent enough to be a teacher and a male protagonist who has an IQ of a lamp post but really transparent feelings. When these two are tied in the marital knot, we know things are not going to be smooth. And the audience is right.

Sandhya is made fun of because of her weight and mocked at as she is more educated than her husband. Prem is so frustrated with his constant academic failure and the fact that he is married to a fat woman that he becomes suicidal. And even after all this, the family tries to pretend that things are just normal in their home. Typical Indian mentality, right?

Lesson –

The film sends a message that you don’t have to have a perfect person to have a perfect marriage. You need to embrace each other’s flaws to make your marriage a perfect one. Also, the biggest lesson that we get to learn from this is that communication is something that can make any relationship stronger.

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6. Shaadi Ke Side Effects

I know this film was a huge flop at the Box Office and otherwise (because it was really bad) but you got to hand it to the filmmakers that they picked up a good concept to theme their movie around. Everyone wants children but at the cost of what? What happens when a child hinders your romantic life? I am not even sure if anybody has watched this but Shaadi Ke Side Effects is a film that deals with a couple who has a raunchy romantic life that goes for a toss when their baby is born.

While Trisha is all set to be a mother and is excelling at it, Sid finds it extremely difficult to cope up with his wife’s sudden change. He finds it hard to accept that they do not have their old life anymore. Moreover, he is annoyed by the fact that the only thing they talk about now is their daughter. Even on dates.

Anyway, what follows is a bunch of crappy scenes stitched together to make a film but a great relationship lesson for couples who are trying to deal with this baby issue.

Lesson –

Having a child is a huge responsibility so you have to be absolutely sure about your dynamics and plans post the baby’s arrival. It is your responsibility to find time for each other and make sure that you have a life outside your kids. Furthermore, never let your individuality get away from you. Baby or no baby, you need to prioritise people and things.

7. Raanjhanaa

Oh boy! I wish all Indian men watch this film because it has a list of things that YOU SHOULD NOT DO to win a woman’s heart. Raanjhanaa is so twisted and weird to watch because it showcases the reality perfectly. There are men who actually do stuff like what is shown in the film (slitting wrists, stalking, telling romantic but rubbish shayaris, and all the other immature stuff that you can think of). And I should know because all the women my age have experienced it at least once in their lives. It is a nightmare because you never know which boy is going to try to prove his love for you by slitting his wrists right in front of you. It’s so terrifying that prank calls, catcalling and eve-teasing sound like better alternatives. You would really have to watch this film to know what I am talking about.

Lesson –

If someone likes you, they would tell you. You should not have to threaten them with suicide. I knew a girl who called her boyfriend and told him that she would drink Lysol if he didn’t take her back. He had just broken up with her because he thought she was unstable and he felt scared in her company. They were in college. No wonder he was afraid of her. I don’t blame him. The point is don’t be stupid. And avoid doing whatever this man does and justifies it by saying that he is doing it out of love. (What BS!)

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8. The Lunchbox

Every time I have mentioned this film in my previous blogs, I have never described it as anything other than a ‘mature take on relationships.’ The Lunchbox sets you on a journey to witness the budding romance of two complete strangers whose paths have no other way of crossing but through fate. A widower in his late 50s or early 60s mistakenly gets a wrong tiffin delivered to his office made a woman with a failing marriage with a supposedly cheating husband. They soon realise the mix-up and decide to become penpals by sending letters through the lunchboxes. While offering moral and emotional support to each other, they realise that they have begun to fall in love with each other and thus, decide to start a new life together.

Lesson –

What is great about this film is that it does not try to be something that it is not. It remains sensible throughout without making the audience go through the stereotypical love songs, grand romantic gestures and whatnot. It tells us that it is never too late to find love. Love is just around the corner. You just need a little mix-up to reach the right one. For Ila and Saajan, it was a lunchbox. So, don’t worry if you are tired of being in unsuccessful relationships. You just have not met your half that would truly make you better yet.

9. Inkaar

A gem of a film that went unacknowledged by Indians, Inkaar deserved so much praise for everything it was about. It revolves around two people who work in an ad agency. The woman who is still at an early stage of her career accuses her boss of sexual harassment. The entire film is in narration form wherein both the individuals are reciting their side of the story and the sexual harassment board is trying to decipher whose story is more believable. Now the twist is that everyone knows these two are involved. But while Rahul claims that it was consensual, Maya contradicts his claim and confesses that she was with his because she was promised a future. The classic Rashomon effect!

Oh, and unlike Pink, the film actually decided not to take any sides and let the audience be the judge of who is telling the truth and who is lying. Take notes Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury!

Lesson –

What goes on between two people is something that only they know and can be the judge of. No outsider can determine whose story holds water. Moreover, it also tells us that everyone is responsible for their own actions. And if you are in a relationship with someone, you should be willing to take up that responsibility.

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10. Akele Hum Akele Tum

Akele Hum Akele Tum was one of the more daring films of the 90s. It was packed with real emotions. And although the situation was a little far-fetched, the story had a lot to say. I remember watching it as a child and thinking how no marriage is perfect unless you are willing to make it.

Kiran and Rohit elope against Kiran’s parents’ wish. Having the same dream of being successful musicians, they decide to help each other achieve it. However, Rohit decides that it is in everyone best interest if he makes his name in the music industry first and then, give Kiran a chance to shine. Obviously, Kiran refuses to go on with his decision and abandons Rohit and her son to make her own career. She succeeds in doing so meanwhile, Rohit struggles to even get a break. It takes an accident, a courtroom trial and a disastrous birthday to bring them both to their senses and realise that they have been so wrong on their part and how badly it has affected their son.

Lesson –

Believe it or not but all relationships have a goal. It is a mutually decided outcome that both individuals expect their union to bring. So, regardless of how long they have been together, it is incredibly important not to forget why they are together. Only relationships with a purpose succeed. Others simply survive. It is up to you to decide what kind of relationship you want to be in.

11. Masoom

There was a certain charm to this film that makes it a classic and relatable even now. Apart from the brilliantly penned songs that describe how the characters are feeling, Masoom deals with a very bold subject of having an illegitimate child. The film is every bit poetic because that is what you get when you appoint Gulzar sahab to write the screenplay and lyrics.

Masoom is a film about Indu’s struggle to come to terms with her husband DK’s affair with another woman who is now dead and has left his bastard son, Rahul, at Indu’s door because she wants him to be with his father. An extremely sensitive topic that is every woman’s worst nightmare. Indu responds to the situation like any other normal woman would and refuses to accept Rahul in her family. She treats him with a lot of hate and sees him as the source of her unhappiness. Meanwhile, Indu’s daughters take an instant liking to Rahul and accept him as their own brother.

Lesson –

There comes a time in a relationship when it is very hard to embrace your partner’s flaws. And take them for who they are. What do you do when your partner cheats on you? While the natural instinct is to be agitated and leave them, there is something called ‘love’ that will always make you have second thoughts. Then, you can either choose to be happy or go through life being perpetually disappointed. Being with her family brought Indu joy. And since her family becomes attached to Rahul, it becomes very clear to her what she needs to choose. Similarly, happiness for you could be leaving your partner and moving on with someone who would not break your trust. Only you can decide that. Because to each, his own.

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12. Chhoti Si Baat

One of my all-time favourites. A classic. And all in all, a very entertaining film, Chhoti Si Baat is about a young boy Arun who is hopelessly in love with Prabha.  All he wishes is to win her over. However, being an introvert all his life, the only time Arun actually gets hold of Prabha is in his dreams. So, he decides to seek help from a former colonel who is known to be a love expert. He learns tips and tricks to court women and uses them to win Prabha’s love. It is fun watching Arun’s bumpy ride in hopes to find love while Prabha has a great laugh over his turmoil. All in good heart.

Lesson –

The title Chhoti Si Baat actually has two meanings. First, it is exactly what the song says. It is the little things that Prabha misses about Arun when he goes away to get his training. And second, the title suggests that there was ‘one little thing’ that Arun had to understand about love that you don’t need any tricks to win a woman’s heart. You just got to say it. As simple as that!

Which film, according to you, has the best relationship lessons? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

18 Times Relationships Are Slowly Killed – Real People Share Their Thoughts

I was very excited when I decided to write about this topic. The idea of writing about things that intentionally or unintentionally kill relationships intrigued me. But I did not want to restrict this blog to my experiences or point of views only. So, I decided to do something NEW! I carried out a small survey on random samples to know what ruined their relationships for them. The responses were overwhelming and better than I had expected. When I checked my inbox this morning, I had received over a hundred responses. It was not something that I was expecting.

All the responses were personal and very real. While they all were great, it was impossible to squeeze in all of them in one article.  So, I took the liberty of choosing the best ones. Here are 18 things that kill a good relationship. Who knows, they might just teach you a thing or two about your own relationship.

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18. Not being presentable enough

In case you don’t find this a problem so big that it could ruin a relationship, allow me to elaborate on it. No matter how much you claim to be attracted to inner beauty more than the outer, you need some kind of physical attraction in a partner that makes you stay in a relationship with them. This could be anything. Their eyes, their smile or even their posture. Hello, Ryan Gosling?! And even if they don’t necessarily have the physical assets of a Greek God, they should be willing to make the best of what they have and be their finest self. That is when the presentation part of it comes in! It does not matter if you look good. You should always try to appear good. Nobody likes people who are bedhead throughout the day.

  • Dress to impress
  • Fix your hair (get a proper haircut)
  • Deodorise yourself
  • Learn to talk

Some of the easiest things to do and yet the most essential ones. Groom yourself if you don’t want to ruin your relationship.

17. Lack of Communication

One of the obvious ones, I don’t think this needs any explanation. This is one of the first things that couples are asked to work on. Most of the relationships end because they don’t have a proper communication channel. This leads to misunderstandings and several complications. Eventually, it kills a relationship. But do you think it happens overnight? Absolutely not! It happens slowly. Just like anything else. And what is bad is that you are a part of it and what is even worse is that you don’t even realise that you have messed it up. Obviously, you can’t blame just one of the two partners for it. There should always be one partner who should be willing to initiate the conversation and the other should be open to criticism. That is how the wheel rolls.

16. Trust issues

We all have read countless WhatsApp jokes about women doubting men and going to lengths to expose them. But we also know that doubt and suspicion is not something that is restricted to only women. Countless men find it hard to completely trust their partners. So, it is safe to say that both the sexes are flawed and need to work on themselves. Issues with trust are stemmed from having insecurities about your own self. As a human being, it is quite easy to point errors in others but extremely difficult to find flaws in yourself. When you don’t accept the wrong in you, you project it on other people. So, if you think you can’t trust your partner when they have never done anything wrong to you, maybe you should introspect before you lose them.

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15. Doubt

Trust issues give rise to doubt. We doubt only those whom we don’t trust. Several people believe doubt is one of the things that kill a happy relationship. And they are right. In fact, doubt and jealousy are among the primary reasons for domestic violence not only in India but around the world. This violence goes both ways. Both men and women physically and mentally abuse their partners out of jealousy and suspicion. It allows them to feel potent and the dominant one in the relationship. Not only does this inevitably kill a good relationship but it also destroys a person’s mental health. While not all doubt leads to abuse, it certainly proves to be incredibly unhealthy.

14. A superficial eligibility criteria

Most of us have a type and it is more like a checklist of qualities that we wish our partner to have. And that is okay. It is okay if you judge you determine whether or not your partner is good for you before you begin dating. Once you get into a relationship, this criteria needs to change. For instance, if you began dating your partner because they treated you nicely, you cannot break up with them because suddenly they are not being nice enough to you. That is not possible.

In such a case, you need to alter your list a little and see how nice they are when faced with a certain situation. Are they nice only when they feel that they should be? What extent is their niceness to? Is there anything that pushes their buttons that makes them stop being nice? When you focus on understanding why a person behaves a certain way, the chances of the relationship surviving increase.

Moreover, your requirement list should be something that is realistic. If you add ‘should have a flying pony’ or ‘must have a BMW,’ you are just reducing your possibility of finding a good partner. Remember that we all want Joseph Gordon-Levitt and it is nice and all, but having Seth MacFarlane (super talented, funny, comic genius, amazing writer, splendid voiceover artist, and the list continues…) is equally good.

13. Outsiders’ suggestions

Only those involved in the relationship know exactly what goes on inside it. And I agree that sometimes you need an outsider’s perspective. However, letting an outsider direct your relationships can ruin relationships within no time. Frankly, this could easily be one of the top five reasons that kill relationships. Sure, your best friend gives you the best advice in the world and there is no doubt that they know you very well. But there is a reason that they call it a suggestion or advice and not the final decision. They are supposed to be considered and not blindly followed. But alas! We believe in outsiders more than our own judgement and that is why so many people listed this one as the reason that ruins a good relationship.

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12. Other people

This one is not the same as the above reason. By other people, I mean a third person. Close to 5% of the people said that another person killed their relationship. This means someone better entered their partner’s life and they chose the other person instead of them. Now, this is not something that you can control so if you have found yourself in such a situation, don’t beat yourself up. There is no way you could prevent that from happening. The best thing to do is remove yourself from the equation entirely and allow yourself to feel happy again.

11. Too many expectations

We only expect things from people who we think are capable of fulfiling them. Expectations are something so precious that you just don’t go around having with every second person you see. So, when we find someone who meets the criteria, we tend to give them a little more than they bargained for. For some people, expecting as little as being responsible or planning dates can turn the whole relationship upside down. And that is why this is such a common reason for relationships ending on a bad note. Therefore, it is very important that you limit your expectations because not every person would be willing to accept it. Also, you should always know better than to burden someone with your needs.

10. Presumption

Raise your hand if you have answered the question that you asked your partner before allowing them to speak because you thought you already knew what they were going to say. Guilty? We all are. It may not seem like such a big deal but did you know that there are several people who think their partner’s presumptions ruined their relationship? Nobody likes a Mr Know-It-All. Listen before you assume things. It is a golden tip.

9. Silence after a fight

Similar to lack of communication, holding your silence after a fight because you don’t want to be the first one to initiate the conversation has killed countless happy relationships. It shows a lack of maturity. There are so many couples that go days without talking to each other. And when they do decide to talk, their relationship loses its essence because it just goes to show the importance that you have in each other’s life. Sure, there will always be a knot after you have broken the thread, but that does not mean that you can’ move past it and bring your lives on track. But most people choose to wait for the other person and they end up losing a good relationship.

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8. Losing a friend in your partner

You can’t have a relationship with someone who is not your friend. So, when you lose your friend in your partner, you lose your relationship, too. In fact, if given the choice, you should always choose your friendship over your relationship because it is easy to fall in love with a friend than to befriend a lover.

7. Attitude and behavioural issues

Being a woman, I can immediately relate this to the wave of women empowerment that has hit the world – feminism. Every day, I spend at least an hour correcting women’s perception of feminism. The misunderstanding of this term has led to so many attitudinal and behavioural problems in women that it is ruining relationships everywhere. And that is just one thing. There are many more such things that have successfully managed to kill good relationships. Thanks to stubbornness, misconceptions and resistance to change.

6. Money contaminating the love

Every couple has a unique way of dealing with money matters. So, I can’t tell you how to manage your finances in a relationship. But you must remember not to let money contaminate your love. There are countless people who regret the way they handled their monetary matters with their partners and if given a chance, they are willing to rectify their mistakes. Unfortunately, you only get one shot and they had theirs. And till the time they realised what had gone, they had already killed their relationship.

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5. Ignorance

I don’t think this requires any explanation because we all know what ignorance can lead to. Actually, if you come to think of it, there can be no mature relationship that can involve ignorance. It can only be present in people who are new to the dating scene and lack the maturity to understand the consequences of their actions. Several people believe that their relationship was killed because they stopped getting a proper response from their partners and that they felt neglected. This made them feel less important and they eventually ended up leaving their partners.

People tend to ignore those that are not only less important to them but also that don’t intrigue them anymore. So, if you are bored with your partner or simply don’t find them to be attractive anymore, do them and yourself a favour and be honest with them. You will be saving a lot of their time and tissues!

4. Trying to change each other

I mean it when I say that trying to change someone too much can ruin your equation with them. Notice the emphasis on the words ‘too much?’ It is important that you don’t forget that. As a partner, it is your responsibility to improve your partner and turn them into a better person. If you don’t do that, it is a problem. Improving their dressing style, table manners and even investment plans, for that matter, is really okay. In fact, it should be encouraged. But when you try to turn your partner into something they are not just because it makes it easy for you to love them or because you have a different notion for an ideal partner/relationship is plain stupidity. So, if your relationship gets killed in the process, you would have only yourself to blame because nobody likes having a policeman around.

3. Placing blame

There is a time and a place for everything. If there is one thing that I have learnt in all my years of existence, it is that you should keep quiet in the wrong situation no matter how right you know you are. You have to pick your time and moment for having the spotlight. That is how relationships work.

On the other hand, repeatedly placing blame on someone regardless of whether or not they have apologised for their mistake is bad for any relationship. Learn to let it go. If your partner cheated on you in the past and you willingly decided to live with them even after knowing what they did, you don’t get to be in a place where you can blame them for cheating on you forever. You would never be able to have a normal relationship that way, and your chance of being happy would not be in sight. So, you have to choose your priorities. Are you willing to place blame and live in despair for the rest of your life or are you willing to hold your tongue and actually having a loving relationship?

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2. Lie

Let’s establish one thing that we are not talking about the usual lies here like complimenting your partner’s bad artwork just to make them feel good or telling your girlfriend that you are alone at home when you are actually having your guys over for a house party. Those lies are benign. We are talking about being pathological liars here, which means that you or your partner lie to each other without having any personal gain in it.

I remember dating a guy back in high school who lied to me about every other thing. He would lie about having a big house, being rich and even about having an iPhone (it was a big deal at that time because it had recently found its way in India). And I believed him because I could not see a reason for why he would lie. He seemed genuine. Obviously, when I found out the truth from a mutual friend, I was devastated, and I left him. After that, even when he apologised to me, it was hard for me to believe him. His habit of lying cost us not only a relationship but also our friendship.

People lie just because they don’t know anything else. And I should not be telling you that doing this is not healthy because it is a given. But you should know this that when you are a habitual liar, you lose your conscience. So, it is difficult to control the number of lies you tell, even if it is at the cost of your relationship. And that is why lying is such a common cause of breakups.

1. Ego

The moment I saw this response, I could not help but put it on number one on the list. It is something that we can all strongly agree with, and most of us have experienced. In fact, why just a partner? Ego can kill any kind of a happy relationship within seconds.

Ego is practically synonymous with self-importance. Think about it. When someone is drunk on power, they tend to put themselves on a pedestal and show an utter disregard of anyone else’s feelings and thoughts. At that moment, only they exist. And that is nothing but toxic. Humans are meant to be social. Surviving in complete independence is impossible. So, when you think you are more important than others, your condescendence can kill your happy relationship.

As mentioned earlier, many relationships break because of silence. When none of the individuals involved in the relationship is willing to approach the other and resolve the differences, it shows that they have chosen their ego over their partner. And that is when you know your relationship is over for good.

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What ruins a good relationship for you? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Travel

20 Best Places to Have Your Very Own Destination Wedding

Before you read further, I want you to quickly grab a chair and sit down because your heart might just skip a beat after reading the next line. Destination weddings are cheaper than traditional weddings. Shocked? Well, destination weddings do not require you to shell out large sums of money for a wedding ceremony, reception and a honeymoon, separately. And that is the most fundamental reason for destination weddings being cheaper than traditional or local weddings.

Besides, the resorts that you book are usually independent and self-sufficient so, any extra charges are seldom incurred. Furthermore, because destination weddings are farther and the guests have to pay for their own travel, the number of people that actually attend the wedding reduces. This means that you can send out as many as a 1000 invitations and be sure that only around 200 of them would be attending the ceremony. Destination weddings also mean fewer tagalongs, which happens in Indian weddings far too often. Actually, ALWAYS!

So, now that you know how destination weddings can be an economical choice, let us look at some of the best venues from across the world for having your own Indian destination wedding.

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1. Udaipur -The Ultimate Destination for the Royal Indian Weddings

You don’t get married at Udaipur, you unite in wedlock. And most people would agree. Udaipur is for Indians like the plaza is for New Yorkers. It is the ultimate destination for a big fat Indian wedding. The place is surrounded by palaces and their grandeur adds just a little extra royal charm to your holy ceremony. It is the perfect destination to bring customs and love together. So, if you have been saving up for a typical Indian wedding, this is for you.

2. Hawaii – An Island of Love

People get married in Hawaii just as much as they do in Vegas. The only difference is that the marriages that begin in Hawaii last longer. It does not matter if you are a Hindu or a Muslim. Your elegant violet and light green decorations would blend perfectly in the beautiful backdrop of the beach and the sky here. Even the bright red colours would not shy away from divulging their auspiciousness. After all, Hawaii is not just for the honeymoon.

3. Jodhpur – Celebrate Your Love Majestically

Another land of kings where majesty rules the earth, Jodhpur is like a sister wedding destination to Udaipur. The grand palaces quite metaphorically remind you of your immense love for each other that cannot be contained anywhere else in the world. And come to think of it, getting married in Jodhpur is not about the money or exhibiting your wealth. It is about promising the well-deserved luxury to your partner right from the moment you unite with them.

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4. Italy – To Add a Touch of Elegance to Your Wedding

If you get married in Italy, you know you are doing it for the pizza more than the destination. I mean, let’s be honest! But the secondary perk of marrying the love of your life in Italy is that you get to add a dash of magnificence to your wedding ceremony. Everything classy can be embodied in your ceremony. This means not only your shoes but also your bride’s earrings have to be absolutely sophisticated. And who can take care of your grace on your wedding day better than Italy?

5. Mexico – Retain the Tradition with a Hint of Westernisation

India is known as the land of culture and traditions throughout the world. But there is another country on the farther western side of the world that is holding its traditional grounds even though it is sharing a border with a country that has no recorded native culture. In Mexico, you would get to enjoy your daadiji ka pyaar along with the traditional Mexican enchiladas. There can’t be anything better.

6. Jamaica – For the Perfect View

The sounds from the banjo, Mento and the acoustic guitar with the rhythm of a laidback Jamaican song is sure to melt you right in the middle of the ceremony. But before you shut your eyes in a light trance, don’t forget to glance at the breathtaking view of the Jamaican water hitting the shore. Your “I do” or “qubool hain” would surely get an extra ring to it when it is joined by the rhythm of the waves.

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7. The Bahamas – For Your Love for Water

When it comes to Indian weddings, money is no problem. And that is why there is a place called The Bahamas for us. The Bahamas are big enough to contain not only the huge gang of people flocking the island but also the enormous hearts filled with love. The sand, the water, and the fresh grass are all ready to adapt to the holy rituals as well as engulf in the loving affair. Although a tad expensive, the Bahamas are always worth the expense.

8.  Andaman and Nicobar Islands – The Indian Hawaii

There is only one word that can describe these absolutely stunning pieces of land masses – exotic. If you are a couple who enjoys spending time with nature and have a profound love for water, you ought to consider getting married at the Andaman and Nicobar Islands. They are the epitome of beauty. And as you would recite your vows, these islands will surely remind you to stay genuine with your beloved one.

9. Las Vegas – ‘Cause This Time It Won’t Just Stay in Vegas

While the saying ‘all marriages that happen in Vegas, stay in Vegas’ may be true, it does not have to be the case with you. Las Vegas is a beautiful place as can be seen in the picture above. It is transparent and bold. Las Vegas is a city that does not shy from being what it truly is. Therefore, it is a perfect destination for a couple who is not afraid to bare it all and be themselves. Also, the fun thing about getting married here is that you can host your wedding either in the gorgeous chapels or at some of the most extravagant hotels in the world.

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10. Ireland – For Some Irish Luck

You know what they say about Irish men, right? They say kissing an Irish man brings good luck. But what happens when you plan your ceremony on the land of fortune? Would the charm still work if you kiss your non-Irish groom in Ireland? Do it to find out. Drag your Indian groom to Ireland and tie your wedding knot in the presence of all the good luck in the world. Maybe you will have your ‘Kisi ki nazar naa lagey‘ moment here.

11. New Zealand – The Original Middle Earth

Did you know that you could get married on the set of the original Middle Earth? Well, now you do. The Lord of the Rings was able to quickly make its place in the hearts of the Indian audience. And it is certain that the TRP of HBO India shoots up every time they air an LOTR marathon. Who would miss that, right? And if you are one of those who are LOTR nerds, you would surely want to get married in the midst of this fantastical creation. So, get packing because alas! You shall pass.

12. Tahiti – The Long Lost Island

If you were as spellbound as everyone else was after watching the beautiful Polynesian islands in the Disney animated film, Moana, the thought of going to one of those islands would have definitely crossed your mind. You are not alone. Tahiti is one Polynesian island wherein people from all around the world come to get tie their wedding knots. Tahiti offers a magnetic view of the wave-crashing beaches. Have a Polynesian style wedding and let the customs of Tahiti crown the ceremony. And if you don’t mind going a little crazy, like many others, you could also conclude your ceremony by diving into the clear water. Ah! Perfect.

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13. Thailand – Amidst the Exotic Cuisine and the Stunning Scenery

While all kinds of cuisine are amazing, Thai cuisine is more easily adaptable for the Indian taste palette. And that is just one reason to celebrate your marital union in Thailand. Besides the delicacies, Thailand is extremely famous for its culture and well, spas. This is indeed a great thing because if either of you is cold feet, you can just walk into your resort’s spa facility and get yourself relaxed and refreshed. Moreover, Thailand offers a wonderful architectural view so, you can be assured that you would only be seeing all things beautiful while your stay there.

14. Sri Lanka – ‘Cause Your Bond Should Be As Golden As Lanka

Myth or no myth, both Hindus and Sri Lankans believe that Ravana‘s kingdom was actually made entirely of gold. While there are no remnants to support this belief, sometimes it is okay to believe in the magic of the ancient times. Remember that Sri Lanka is the same place where Ram and Sita reunited after an epic battle of the Ramayana. So, we know that the grounds are definitely holy and fit to get married on. And perhaps your love would also bloom even more while you are there.

15. Niagra Falls – May Your Love Flow As Eternally As the Waters of the Niagra Falls

We all know that water is an incredibly powerful element. It is one of the bases of the creation of the world. But did you know that flowing water is a symbol of moving forward and the beginning of something new? Flowing water represents success. Hence, it is very likely that getting married at the Niagra Falls would make your union a successful one. Also, if you are a fan of The Office (American version), you must have definitely thought about getting married Jim and Pam style at once. So, maybe you indeed will.

16. Greece – To Let the Greek Gods Bless Your Union

Greece – the land of Gods! As an Indian, it has been morally instilled in us that we should be in the presence of God every time we start something new and good. So, what better than the land of Zeus himself? Amidst the white walls and the tiny houses, say your prayers while you embrace the mild sunset. Allow the blush pink of your lehenga and the red of his turban to merge into the blue of the sky as you promise to spend all your seven lives together.

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17. Fiji – Take Your Vows in the Middle of the Pacific Ocean

There is a lot of similarity between the Indian wedding traditions and that of Fiji’s. For starters, you would not be missing on the procession part of it if you decide to get married in Fiji. In the Fijian weddings, the bride enters the ceremony in a carriage shouldered by four men. Furthermore, the weddings do not fall short of music and dance so, you would not have the FOMO on the sangeet ceremony either. Also, Fijian weddings involve colours (same as Holi) and bonfires. So, you get your saat phere, too. What more can you ask for?

18. Puerto Rico – If You Like Pina Colada or Getting Caught in the Rain…

If you have been a fan of pina colada for some time now, you would love to hold your wedding ceremony in Puerto Rico. For the simple fact that this is where the drink was actually invented. Yes, you read that right. On an island with a stunning view, celebrate your loving union under the sunkissed sky. And do you know what sounds better than “I do?” The clink of the glasses poured with some cool pina colada.

19. Morocco – Amidst the Home of the Essential Oils

The land of essential oils, organic compounds and all things natural. While the traditional Moroccan brides wore beautiful shimmery dresses accessorised with a matching large headgear, modern women prefer to keep it simple. The Moroccan wedding gowns are one of the most gorgeous gowns in the world because of their intricate designs and classy colour scheme. And apart from the Moroccan landscape being absolutely magnetic, the wedding themes are something that you should get married in Moroccan for. If you are a fan of white, gold and shimmer, this might just be the place for you.

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20. Iceland – If You Blink Here, You Lose

You would love to know this that one of the most popular marital traditions of Iceland is that the bride and the groom are required to stare into each other’s eyes for a good minute to display their commitment toward each other. If the couple succeeds in maintaining the eye contact without blinking, they are declared man and wife. Now, this tradition may have lost its place in contemporary Icelandic weddings. But it still remains to be one of the most fascinating wedding traditions that there is. Therefore, if you plan your wedding ceremony in Iceland, don’t forget your eyedrops.

So, where are you planning to get married? Also, comment down your own destination wedding venues and stories. We would love to read them!