Categories
Marriage

Arranged Marriage – What To Ask A Boy For The First Meeting?

Every girl is in search of a guy who makes her feel the most beautiful girl in the world, the one who cares for her and always be by her side no matter what the situation is. A girl is always in a lookout for her prince charming. Someone who is tall and dark/white (whatever you like), and is different from all the other boys in the world.

If you have found the love of your life by yourself, this is not for you. But if you are going to choose a life partner through an arranged marriage set up, you have come to the right place.

Arranged marriages are testing. And they will throw you with many challenges. While you can’t do away with all your challenges, you can reduce your troubles of groom hunting by asking the right questions. Read on to prepare yourself for the first meeting.

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What Is Arranged Marriage Like?

An arranged marriage set up is usually done by parents or relatives where you hardly know the guy or his family.

So, obviously there will be butterflies in your stomach when you are about to meet the guy. Also, at the same time, you will be nervous about how things will go with him.

There will be a lot of questions popping in your mind before you meet the guy. How does he look? What does he do? What is his nature like? And many more such questions.

When you decide to get married through an arranged marriage set up, you are going to meet a total stranger. Hence, it becomes difficult to make a decision as to whether he is perfect for you or not. You have to be very careful.

Now obviously, most of the girls must be thinking about how to start a conversation with the guy who is a complete stranger to you. I’m sure; lots of you must have experienced the same. So girls, don’t worry. I’m here to your rescue. Here are some important arranged marriage questions you must surely ask the guy during your first meeting. This will help you know the guy better and also decide whether you should take this thing further or not. So, let’s dig in.

1. What are your hobbies?

Let’s start with something basic and easy-breezy questions to make the conversation less pressurizing and stressful. Asking about the guy’s hobbies and his interests is the best way to start a conversation. You’ll come to know about his lifestyle and personal interests. The best thing is if your hobbies and interests coincidentally match then you will have loads to talk about.

2. What are your career goals and future plans?

This is one of the most important arranged marriage questions you need to ask the guy. It is important as you need to know how passionate your would-be partner is about his career. Does he have any future plans? What is he planning to have a successful career ahead? Asking him about his career and future plans will let you know whether he is serious about it or he is someone who has no goals at all. Though it depends on the way, the guy answers your questions you’ll surely get a hint about it. If he isn’t a career-oriented guy and has no future plans, it can affect your future. Also, it means that he won’t be able to take responsibilities and manage things in the future. Your future can be at stake.

3. Are you planning to settle abroad in the near future?

This question can be optional for many of you, but it is necessary too. So, if you are dreaming of settling with your partner abroad after marriage, you definitely need to ask him this question. If he has no plans to settle abroad, then you can according decide before taking things further. However, it can be another way around too. You have no plans to settle down abroad, so it is a good idea to clarify things first before taking things forward. Because if the guy is planning for a having a career abroad and settling there and you’re not ready for it, then it’s of no use taking things forward.

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4. Are you okay with marrying a career-oriented woman?

In today’s time, this is a must-ask arranged marriage question for men. The times have changed, and now there’s no difference between a boy and a girl. Both are equal and are successful and career-oriented. So if you are passionate and ambitious about your career, express the same to the guy. Ask him if he is okay marrying a girl like you who is not willing to give up her career. Find out if he is intimidated or feels complex with his woman’s success in her career. Ask him if he is okay if you are earning more than him. Ask him whether he is comfortable and allow you to work/study/travel after marriage. Lastly, ask him whether or not he will be supportive of you to achieve your goals. If the guy agrees to all this, then give it a go.

5. What are views about having kids? Do you see yourself with any in the future?

This is also one of the essential arranged marriage questions you need to ask the guy. Well, many might not give much importance to this as they assume that if you get married, you’ll definitely have kids someday. If you are thinking the same, then you might be wrong. There are many who don’t want kids. The reasons can be anything depending on person-to-person. Sometimes, the girls don’t want kids, sometimes the boys. So, it is necessary to know the views of the guy and ask him this question. For example, you have decided never to have kids, but the guy wants one, then it could be a problem. However, things can be vice versa. Hence, it is necessary to take this topic into consideration.

6. What will be your responsibilities towards your family?

This question will be a bit personal, but it is still necessary to ask. It might not go well with a guy as you are directly questioning him about his capabilities. But it is necessary for you to know how responsible he is towards his family. This will let you understand about the way he is capable of taking care of his family members, and if he is good at managing this, he will definitely take care of you in the same way.

7. Are you comfortable with taking the responsibilities of my family?

This is one of the most important arranged marriage question girls ask these days to the guy. This can be a test sort of thing for a guy that will help you know if he is a right guy for you or not. Girls never stop helping their family even after they get married. You always feel responsible for your family and try to help them whenever they need you. So, you feel the need to ask the guy the same and know what his views about the same are. If the guy feels responsible enough towards your family like his, then you can definitely consider him making your life partner. Even if he doesn’t, by asking this question, you will be able to judge him and his intentions. It will help you make the right choice.

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8. Have you been in a relationship before?

This is a bit of personal question, but you need to know. You can casually ask the guy about his past relationships and the reason they broke up. If the guy hasn’t done anything wrong, he would definitely open up about it and share with you. It will also help you gain confidence and develop trust. This can be an optional question depending on how comfortable are you to ask this to the guy.

9. What do you think about substance abuse?/Do you drink or smoke?

Drinking and smoking is a pretty common thing which most of the guys do. However, there are some who drink but don’t smoke. Some smoke but don’t drink. Some have a habit of both. Then there are some who are too much addicted to these habits. It’s a part of their lifestyle, and they can’t change it. And we all know smoking and drinking in excess can be harmful to health too. So, if you are not comfortable with your would-be partner having either of the two habits or both, you can always make it clear about it. If they are ready to give up, you can go ahead with it or can simply not take things forward.

10. Are you comfortable living separately from your family after marriage?

This is the most commonly asked arranged marriage question by a girl in the first meeting itself. The concept of a nuclear family is fast emerging in India. Initially, a large part of the people in India used to live in joint families. But slowly things have changed, and now even people are accepting the concept of a nuclear family.

Couples, these days, prefer living separately instead of living together. This gives them their freedom and privacy and also to live their life as per their will. If you are pretty open-minded and dream of living separately from your in-laws, you should definitely have this conversation with the guy in the first meeting itself. The guy too will be able to express his views on the same and let you about his thoughts. If both of your thoughts match, then you can definitely consider taking things forward.

11. Are you religious or spiritual? How extreme are your views?

You must definitely consider asking this necessary arranged marriage question to the guy you meet. As we all know, anything in excess can create problems. In the same way, it is important for you to know about how much the guy is involved in being religious or spiritual. Being religious or spiritual to a certain extent is alright, but if it’s too much, the family and the guy will demand the same from you. Also, if you are an atheist, you’ll have to make a lot of adjustments. So, it is best to talk to him about his family’s religious beliefs and their expectations from you.

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Asking Arranged Marriage Questions for the First Meeting

Some of the above questions may come off as too direct, harsh or even personal. But there’s always a way to ask them. You need to learn to put forth these questions while blending them in your conversation. Just when you and the guy are totally engaged in a conversation and get a bit comfortable in talking, shoot the question at that time. Don’t force any questions in the conversation or try to get it out from the guy forcefully. Try to gain his confidence at first and then start asking. See how things are going and then be ready to ask the rest of the questions. Also, don’t be judgmental, take some time to know what he is trying to convey.


He is definitely the right guy for you if…


Knowing a total stranger and deciding to marry him is a big task. Sometimes, you tend to misunderstand the guy and reject him. Sometimes, you tend to take the wrong decision by choosing the wrong guy which you will regret for the rest of your life.
There is no harm in expressing yourself and talking about your expectations from him. Feel free to talk about what you feel and the way he reciprocates. If you get all the positive vibes from him and he is willing to compromise to fulfil all your wishes and demands. He is definitely the right guy for you.

Arranged marriage is a tricky concept, still, there are many who prefer finding a life partner this way. There are thousands of successful marriages that were set up by parents or relatives, in India. In fact, most Indian marriages are still categorised as arranged. They are happily living with each other, having kids and a bright future for themselves. In fact, these couples highly recommend an arranged marriage to many who are in search of a perfect match.

Which questions did you ask your partner on the first meeting? Write them down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Marriage

10 Secrets To Have A Successful Second Marriage

Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that happen in one’s life. It is a union forever when two people decide to spend their entire life together. That is why it is rightly said that

Marriages are made in heaven.

It is the most special day in a couple’s life when they vow to be with each other forever. For most of us, a perfect marriage is when two people get married and live happily ever after. However, in this not-so-perfect world, sometimes marriages do not work, and couples tend to get separated. There could be many reasons for a failed marriage, depending on couple-to-couple. Also sometimes, people die young, leaving behind grieving spouses with potentially long lives ahead of them.

There are many people who lose faith in the institution of marriage when their marriage fails or when they lose their partners. But there are also many who are all set to experience it again with all the excitement and happiness. Though these people are constantly judged by society, especially the women but there is nothing wrong to have a second marriage.


You get to learn many things before you think about getting married again


Sometimes, your first marriage doesn’t work for various reasons, and you tend to end it on mutual terms. But you are not at a loss; you get to learn many things before you think about getting married again. There must be many people around you who have married for the second time, and it was more successful than the first one.

It takes a lot of courage to start a new life again after getting separated from your partner. Sometimes people accept it and move on quickly, and sometimes people don’t. But there is no harm if you are thinking about starting a new life again. Finding a right partner, or choosing the person whom your family or friends have set you up with, can bring the same amount of happiness in life again.


What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all


Opting for a second marriage is a big step for anyone and this time you need to be more careful in choosing your partner. This depends on what kind of situation you faced earlier, which ended your marriage. Also, there is a lot of pressure on what people will say, or society will judge you for it. But you need to simply focus on what is in your mind and heart and follow it. What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all.
So, we all know, it takes a lot of efforts for both a man and a woman to make their marriage work. In the same way, be it your first or second marriage, you and your partner will need to put the same kind of efforts to make it work. Both will need to have the same goals to keep their married life happy.

So folks, today, I will be sharing some secrets to having a successful second marriage. And those who are experiencing this phase, swear by these tips to keep the marriage going and be happy forever.

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1. Realise the mistakes you did in your first marriage

When a couple goes through a divorce, it is the most difficult times in their lives. Nobody wants to experience this. But sometimes people are not meant to be together. Suppose, you have gone through a bad time in your marriage which resulted in your separation, so try to figure out what went wrong. When you decide to get married again, don’t repeat the same mistakes. Trying to change yourself is the most important key to have a successful second marriage. Avoid repeating the same mistakes to make your second marriage work and last forever.

2. Distance yourself and your partner from your past

When you are opting for a second marriage, you are stepping in a new life leaving behind your past. This is the best way to have a successful second marriage. Let bygones be bygones and focus on your current life. Talking about your ex in front of your current partner may affect your marriage. You have passed that phase and let it go. There is no worth mentioning or recollecting about those things. This might bother your current partner, and things can become a bit complicated.

3. Talk to your partner about your expectations

Sometimes marriages fail when you fail to live up to your partner’s expectations. The constant failure in this area will leave your partner frustrated, which leads to separation. Many times, you or your partner fail to express what you are expecting while the other one is not aware of it. If you have gone through this phase, you should seriously think about it when you decide to marry again. Express yourself to your partner; tell them what you expect from them. This is key to a successful second marriage.

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4. Accept your stepchildren happily

Most of the time and in most cases, when you opt for a second marriage, you should be ready for this. You or your partner should accept the kids from the previous marriage. Try to avoid awkward encounters with them and be friendly. Try to be their friend rather than directly trying to be their mother or father. Engage in some activities with them; go for movies, lunch, and dinners. If the kid is pretty young, you can play with them and do stuff that they like. Give them a chance to know you and yourself a chance to know them.

Spending some time with them and knowing them will help you develop a great bond which will help your marriage succeed, and you will be able to live a happy life with your partner. You have to accept the fact that your step kids are going to be around as they are a part of your life now. Also, this will make your spouse happy too. This is the most successful key to a second marriage.

5. Spend quality time with your partner

Sometimes when you get married for the second time, and your spouse has a kid, you end up devoting all the time with them. But you should realize that you need to spend an equal amount of time with your partner to know them better. Don’t give up your personal life entirely for kids. This might create problems between you and your partner. This is one way to have a successful second marriage.

6. Never lose your patience

Your first marriage failed due to some reason. But now you have married again. But you should have the patience for things to settle and have a great life again. You can’t expect things to be perfect all of a sudden. Give some time to your spouse. Having it started all over again can take some time. You are experiencing a whole new phase, and things will fall in place with time. So if your expectations are not fulfilled, wait for it. Don’t get impatient and show it to your partner. This way, you can have a successful second marriage.

7. Give yourself and your partner some space; privacy is mandatory

When you get married for the second time, sometimes you are too much involved in your partner. And your partner, too, is doing the same. Because you think you need to be with each other all the time. But that is not the right thing to do. Giving yourself some space and also to your partner can be helpful. Let your partner spend some time in what they love doing it. You can do the same because sometimes, giving each other some space can have a successful second marriage.

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8. Make new friends and expand your peer circle

This can bring a big change in your social life. You may have many mutual friends with your exes. So, it becomes a bit awkward to meet them when you get separated. Also, you can always bump into your ex while meeting these friends. This can be the same case with your spouse too. For some people, it may be a casual thing, but for some, it may be awkward. So, to avoid coming across such situations, make new friends with whom you can hang out with your current partner. It is like getting rid of your past friends, along with your past marriage. This will give a boost in your social life. Having a new social life altogether is key to a successful second marriage.

9. Be ready to compromise in your marriage

Just because you compromised on things in your first marriage and still it didn’t work, you can’t be extremely stubborn about it while dealing it with your second marriage. Carrying the same baggage of your first marriage can make things go hunky-dory in your second marriage. Little compromises can do no harm and in fact, bring you closer to your partner. If your partner expects you to adjust in some things, do it for your partner’s happiness and don’t crib about it. Compromising is a major key to a successful second marriage. It will make your partner feel that you love and care for them.

10. Don’t rush into things

When you get married for the second time or decide to give it another shot, simply don’t rush into things. Your goal is not just to remarry but to have a successful second marriage. Realize that rushing into things can make it worse, and probably you will end up separating from your spouse. Also, this may make your partner feel too much pressurized. Give yourself and your partner some time. If things aren’t working the way you had expected, talk about it to your partner. Find ways to deal with the situation rather than simply arriving at conclusions. This way, you will leave yourself and your partner frustrated.

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Having a Successful Second Marriage

Well, as we all know, marriage doesn’t come with a guarantee, and it is up to the couples who can make it work. Sometimes people end up marrying several times before finally settling down with the right person. Sometimes, you find everything you need in your first marriage itself. Marrying the second time in your life can give you another reason to live. If you want to move on, you will find the right person one day, and your life will be filled with all the happiness you deserve.

Whether you marry once, twice or thrice, you will need to take equal efforts in making it work. Sometimes, you end up marrying a wrong person and later realize it. But as we say, “Better late than never”, you can always get yourself out of it and find a new partner with whom you can live your life. No one is perfect in this world, and humans do sometimes make a mistake by choosing a wrong life partner. If it is not meant to be, you will end up separating from that person no matter how hard you try. But also, you will find out someone who is made for you.


Never lose hope


If life gives you another chance, try to make the most of it. Second marriages are no big deal, but making them work out takes a lot of efforts. Both you and your partner need to work on it. Taking things for –granted can make things worse for you and your spouse. Respect your marriage. Love it, nourish it, and let it grow. Let each day be happier than the other day. Even if you need to take extra efforts to make your partner happy, do it. Come with fewer expectations, and you won’t leave with a broken heart.

How did you make your second marriage work? Write your thoughts down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

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Breakup Love & Relationships

Signs You Should Not Get Back With Your Ex

Being in a relationship is one of the most beautiful things you can experience. When you are romantically involved with someone, you find ways to be with each other. You love to share everything with your partner. You think about that person every single second and want to be with him/her. Your expectations from that person increase as your relationship crosses a certain period. While all these things are common among all the couples, but there are times when your relationship hits a rough patch. This too is very common among the couples. It’s the testing period of a relationship when it goes through various highs and lows.

In such conditions, either the relationship survives, or it ends. If it survives, your love will grow deeper than before. But if it ends, you will be left heart-broken. Sometimes, it’s better to leave certain relationships behind and move on rather than sticking to it. If you were meant to be together, you would never have separated. Sometimes you find it difficult while getting separated from your partner. But sometimes the situation makes it easy for you to walk away from your relationship.


In such conditions, either the relationship survives, or it ends


There might be many who after separating from their partners would try to reconcile after a while. In such cases, things might work out for both the boy and the girl. But sometimes, this idea of reconciliation can prove to be the biggest mistake of your life.

I’ve personally witnessed a lot of my friends who have deeply regretted after getting back to their exes. Well, everyone has a different reason for the same depending on what terms they had got separated.
So I, too, feel that to get back with your ex is never a good idea. So, here are various reasons why you should never get back with your ex. Let’s dig in.

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1. You have a valid reason to let go of your partner

You fell in love with someone and started dating. Everything was going well, until one fine day, things went hunky-dory. Even after giving it several chances, things didn’t work out, and you called it quits. This might be heart-breaking, but you just need to accept that you both are not meant for each other. There was a reason you separated. So once you let go of your partner, let them go forever. This is one of the major reasons why you shouldn’t get back with your ex.

2. Both you and your partner are still carrying the burden of your relationship

Another major sign that you shouldn’t get back with your ex. The mental and emotional trauma that you and your partner go through when you break up takes time to heal. Well, sometimes you move on quickly, while sometimes you don’t. But if you are thinking to get back with your ex, your baggage of burden seems to start gaining weight that too rapidly.

You get Déjà Vu. You get the flashback of all the memories, especially the bad ones, things that annoy you about your partner, and all the things you both had done to hurt each other. And you may not think about all this at once, but these thoughts will bother you from time to time. You will start fighting about the same things again, and then things will end up in the same way just like before. In the end, you will regret of thinking to get back with your ex big time.

3. Your trust has been broken

When you love someone, you tend to trust that person blindly in everything. You are very sure that your partner won’t ever break your trust and also live up to your expectations. But when you realize that your partner has broken your trust. It leaves you completely shattered. It’s hard for you to accept that the one person you loved and trusted so much had hurt you so badly. This thing will bother you for the rest of your life. So, even if you are thinking of getting back together, this will keep bothering you every single time. Well, if you have gone through severe trust issues in your relationship, it is not a good idea to get back with your ex.

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4. Your sex life wasn’t that good

In every relationship, physical intimacy also plays a major role in bringing two persons closer to each other. Sex is not just about having fun or fulfilling the want to get pleasure, it’s also about love. You feel secure, and you share this feeling with that one and only special person in your life. However, many relationships have seen a dead-end once their sex life suffers. So if you have separated from your partner for this very reason, it’s never a good idea to get back with your ex.

5. There are many others out there and they are not the only one

After you call it quits with your partner, it takes a while to move on. You know the reason why you had to take this step so being strong enough to accept it is the only thing which will help you. It will take a while for you to forget your partner. But once you stop thinking about him/her, you will see there are many others in this world. Once you think like this, it will be easy for you to move on. And once you realize that you will find someone else in your life to be with, you will forget your past soon. This is one of the signs that you shouldn’t get back with your ex.

6. You had a bad breakup and now need to learn to love yourself 

When you go through a breakup, you completely lose faith in love. The one loving person in you is no more alive, and you become stone-hearted. You become arrogant, stubborn or extremely weak in expressing your emotions. Once there was a time when your heart was only filled with love, but now there’s no love. You will have to learn to love all over again. This is how you will find a way to come out of your past and may find a new soul mate for the rest of your life. When you learn this, this is a great sign that you shouldn’t get back with your ex.

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7. You are happy when you are with people and not when your partner is with you

It’s less the impact an individual physically has on you that makes you happy, but instead, the perception you have of that person. This is necessary to differentiate because while you may feel your perception has changed of that particular person while you are away from each other when you get back together, every one of those negative thoughts you had will reemerge. Even though the person may have changed, your view of the person in question isn’t so impermanent.

In your mind, an individual isn’t simply made out of who the person is at the time, but instead, of the considerable number of things we recall about the person in question, alongside every one of the recollections and feelings that the individual helps us to remember. If you were not happy with somebody for a long period of time, the odds of switching that unhappiness are pretty much nothing.

8. You still think your partner will make you happy

If you have called it quits with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you go through a severe mental and emotional time. You have had a major heartbreak. But sometimes getting back with your ex can fix up things for you. This sounds cheesy, but you find your happiness by doing this. But this thing will only make you happy and not your partner. So instead of walking back to your ex, give some time to yourself. Gain some support from your family and friends. This won’t make you feel lonely and help you heal faster.

9. You feel that you blew off that one chance of being in love

No one wants to go through heartbreaks. When a relationship breaks, you go through a low phase in your life. You are emotionally broken, and nothing makes you happy. This can go on for a while until you gather yourself and decide to accept it and move on. Sometimes you will also regret about blowing your one chance at love. But you should stay strong and just keep moving. You’ll go through various ups and downs, but this phase will pass soon.

10. Your best friends still reveal their dislike towards your ex

This is one of the major signs that you shouldn’t get back with your ex. If you have a bunch of close friends, they will surely know everything about your relationship. While your friends too must have met your partner and observed certain things, they are likely to talk to you about it. Friends tend to observe more your partner than you too. Your friends might reveal some flaws in your relationship. Sometimes, your friends observe how your partner used to behave with you or how unhappy you were with him/her. If your friends tell us all this, it is important to consider these things and drop the idea of getting back with your ex.

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11. Your ex does not show the same interest in your life like before

When you get in touch with your ex personally, through phone or social media, he/she doesn’t take that kind of interest in your life like he/she did it before. They don’t ask a lot of genuine questions about how you are and how is your family doing or what you have been up to. They don’t show that much interest as they don’t care about you. What they care about is keeping you on the sidelines. This is a sign that you should not think about getting back with your ex.

You Should Not Get Back With Your Ex

There will be times in your life when your long-term relationship ends all of a sudden even before you realize it. This is the most challenging phase of your life. Because either it will make you stronger enough to deal with this harsh reality of your life or make you emotionally weak. But all you got to do is stay strong and deal with it. This type of approach will help you move on in your life and also bring positivity. It will help you find love again in your life and make you feel that an end of one relationship is not an end of everything.

It might take some time for you to move on and start a new life without your beloved, who is no more yours. But with the support of your family and friends and your dear ones, you can get pass-through this difficult phase soon.

There will be times when you feel lonely and think about getting back with your ex. You will try to do this just to make yourself happy. But you should think that your ex is not even thinking about it or maybe he/she has moved on. Knocking the doors of your past will only make you remember all the difficult times you went through and how badly it hurt you. Just stay strong and focus your attention on other things in your life. Spending time with your friends and family or focusing on your career will help you.


It may give you some moments of pain but a lifetime of happiness


The idea of getting back with your ex is not suitable for everyone and every situation. Sometimes distancing yourself from that person can bring happiness and peace in your life. It may give you some moments of pain but a lifetime of happiness.

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If you observe any of the above signs in your life, you should not get back with you ex. However, there are times when you are ready to give it another shot. But perhaps you are not sure, in which case, check out this blog to see if you are ready to get back with your ex.

Categories
Love & Relationships

Are You In A One-Sided Relationship? Signs To Prove It

Love is one of the best feelings in the world. Wouldn’t you agree? It is a feeling which makes you feel that everything around you is so beautiful. Lucky ones are those who find their soul mate for life and live with them happily ever after. While some love stories have a fairytale-like happy ending, some don’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end. You can surely find someone else in your life and live with that person forever. And when you fall in love, you are actually in a committed relationship with the person. You’re totally committed to that person and agree together forever.

We all know it takes a lot of efforts to keep a relationship stable. If you fail to put efforts, it might end, and you will be left heart-broken. Every relationship goes through a lot of ups and downs. But you should be able to handle it with maturity.
Well, I don’t need to tell you much about how to manage your relationship as you all must be knowing it very well. But here’s a question. Have you ever felt that you’re in love, but you don’t get the same feeling from that person? Are you the only one who is taking efforts to make the relationship work? Do you feel your partner is taking you for granted? If yes, then


“You are in a one sided relationship”


No, I’m not kidding! It sounds harsh, but it’s true.

A one sided relationship can be painful at times. It’s like you love someone from your heart and soul, but you don’t get back the same kind of love. Well, that’s when things go wrong between you and your partner. You constantly take efforts to manage everything, but your partner is least interested. This can leave you frustrated, and you will start sensing that something is going wrong.

According to the professor of psychology Kelly Campbell who teaches at California State University, a one sided relationship is a

type of romantic relationship in which the power is imbalanced, and one person is putting in a lot [more] in terms of resources (time, money, emotional investment) [than the other] and getting little to nothing in return.

Now let’s check out the major signs that prove you are in a one sided relationship.

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1. You take the initiative of communicating all the time

Communication is very important in every relationship. Both the persons involved in a relationship must make sure they are in touch all the time. Be it talking through, messages, phone calls or by any other means. But there should be two-way communication. If you are the only one who makes calls, sends messages and find ways to communicate, sense that something is wrong. If your partner doesn’t take a single effort, then you are in a one sided relationship. It’s better to get yourself out of such a relationship rather than wasting time behind a person who is least interested in you.

2. They hang up on you; but you never hang up on them

Being in a relationship, you always make plans to go on lunch/dinner dates or for movies. It’s so exciting that you are going to spend some lovely time with your beloved. But what if your partner constantly bails? What if you make plans and your partner keeps on cancelling? You’re waiting for your date to arrive, but they don’t show up? If this keeps happening frequently, then sense that you are in a one sided relationship. It’s time that you move on and not waste your time for a person who doesn’t deserve it.

3. They choose their friends over you

Now nothing can be more irritating and painful than this. Just imagine, you make a nice plan to spend some quality time with your partner, but he/she ditches you. How will you feel? Instead of spending time with you, your partner chooses to hang out with their friends. This will definitely make your furious. When your partner chooses their friends over you, then you are definitely in a one sided relationship. A study has suggested that “engaging in leisure activities with your partner tends to increase communication, define roles, and increase marital satisfaction when leisure satisfaction is high or when partners are positive and have strong social skills.

4. You always have to adjust your schedule according to theirs

Everyone needs to make a few adjustments when in a relationship. You are the one who always makes adjustments and compromise with your timetable to meet them, whereas your partner never adjusts. You are constantly struggling to fit yourself in anything for your partner’s sake, but they don’t. This is a sign that you might be in a one sided relationship. If you are always expected to work around your partner’s schedule, then it’s better not to devote your time to such people.

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5. There are a lot of negative interactions between you and your partner

When negativity hits a relationship, it’s time you should realize that something is wrong. Well, small fights, arguments, disagreements over certain things are common in every relationship. However, when this comes constant, your relationship has hit the rocks. The constant negativity between you two, fighting over everything, completely disagreeing to each other, these signs are enough to prove that you are in a one sided relationship. Research suggests that there are a lot of negative interactions between couples in a one sided relationship. A major problem of a one sided relationship is that the person who is fully committed in the relationship is not that satisfied because their needs aren’t being met.

6. They never return your favours

When you are in a relationship, you’ll expect several favours from your partner and vice versa. So, you being completely committed to that person will do anything and everything for your beloved. But what if you ask them for the same? And in return, you always get a ‘NO’. Sounds harsh, right? It’s true that some people have a habit of expecting more from everyone and giving away the least. They expect you to do everything for them, but they don’t want to do anything for you. This is a sign that you’re a one sided relationship.

7. You always end up apologising to them even if it is their fault

Saying sorry won’t make you small. But when you have to say it every time without any reason can be frustrating. Have you ever apologized for things that aren’t even caused by you? Or have you ever said sorry for actions that don’t affect your partner at all? Ask yourself these questions? If you feel it that you have apologized several times for no reason, it’s a sign that you are in a one sided relationship. You can’t be apologetic for what you are. And if your partner makes you feel bad for it, then it’s better to stay away from such a person. It will highly affect your self-respect and bring your morale down.

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8. They seldom or never address the problems with your relationship 

No relationship is perfect. Everyone relationship goes through a rough phase, but it’s up to us how we will deal with it. If you work it out with your partner, you can save your relationship. Or else you will have a major heart-break. You will that there is something wrong in your relationship and communicate it to your partner. But instead of talking about it, your partner simply ignores you and your problems. This is a sign that you are worried about your relationship and your partner is not. Your partner is not interested in talking about it or trying to solve your problem. It shows they are least interested in you. In such a case, all you can do is either try to fix the problem all by yourself or ignore the problems altogether.

9. You feel stressed out all the time

When you are in a relationship, you want to feel safe, secure and happy about being with your beloved. But at times this doesn’t happen. You are constantly stressed out about how things are going on between you and your partner. Your relationship is making you unhappy, and you feel suffocated. You always have to prove to your partner about how much you love them. The constant efforts of showing your love leave you all stressed out all the time. It’s a sign that things are not working out, and you need to free yourself from it. A relationship which gives you constant stress is better to let it go rather than forcefully being in it.

10. They are least interested in caring for you

You start getting a feeling that your partner no more cares about you or doesn’t love you in the same way they did before. Whatever happens, your partner is least interested and is simply living in their own sweet world. It’s the truth that if you’re in a one sided relationship, your partner doesn’t care about you anymore and you start feeling it. A person caring for you will talk to you all the time, meet you, do things to make you happy, but if they don’t, it means they are no more in love with you. You can clearly see your partner’s I-don’t-care-about-you attitude and realize that it is never going to change. It’s better that you accept it soon and move on.

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11. You end up justifying your partner’s bad behaviour to others

If you are in a healthy and committed relationship, your partner will have immense respect for you. They will never do anything that may jeopardise your relationship. For example, you invite your partner for dinner at your place on a special occasion. However, they don’t make it on time, and everyone in your family is left wondering why they haven’t arrived yet. Well, you know how your partner is and won’t mind their habit of late coming, but in this case, you will be answerable to your family. So, to maintain their positive image, you have to justify your partner’s behaviour to your family.

And this isn’t just one thing; there are a lot of things for which you feel the need to justify your partner’s actions. If such things happen frequently, then surely your partner is showing least interest in you and your family. This can be one of the signs of being in a one sided relationship.

12. You fake yourself every time you are with them

Do you always have to wear a mask when you are with your partner? Do you feel like being someone you’re not in front of your partner? Ever feel your partner won’t like your original personality? If the answers to these questions are yes, then you’re definitely in a one sided relationship. What’s the use of such a relationship where you completely lose your existence just for the sake of your partner? It’s like wearing a mask all the time to please your beloved. Your life becomes a complete lie, and you are faking about each and everything. This can affect you big time. The moment you realize this, it’s time you get out such a relationship soon.

13. You share everything with your partner and know nothing about them

This can refer to every big or small thing, but it is extremely important for a relationship to survive. From sharing food, money, your feelings, even a TV remote, this is what you expect from your partner. But it’s always you who do contribute to the sharing part, but your partner doesn’t. This can be a problematic situation. You tend to share every single thing with your partner, but they do not reciprocate. Sharing stuff can bring intimacy in a relationship. Being vulnerable is extremely important; however, both persons have to be the same to strengthen the bond.

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What are your thoughts on one sided relationships? Have you ever been in one? Write your thoughts down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

Signs Your Breakup was a Good Idea

It might sound absurd to say that breakup is good. Let us get straight that breakups are no joke. It makes us realise how our smart mind gives up and kneels to an ailing heart.

Tina B. Tessina, better known as Dr Romance, says

“Gradually over a period of time, the new relationship euphoria begins to wear off, and reality sets in. Both partners relax and stop being on their best behaviour. They begin to disagree about things they were tolerant of before.”

Breakup becomes inevitable.

Discussing it with friends and blaming whosoever, hardly makes you feel rejuvenated. Rarely, one can find any peck of happiness around them. In one of the most shocking breakup statistics, it was found that 77 per cent of Indian youth keeps their relationship hidden from their parents, 86 per cent of people admits to looking at photos of their ex; 14 per cent of married people admit to doing so often. And 50 per cent of people have called, texted or emailed an ex. You zone out and keep the funeral of your feelings on. But does it all sounds sane? Is this the only way to perceive breakups?

My friend, perceptions, as you know, prove to be a sharp weapon when it comes to an understanding a productive ending. Speaking of this, people, in general, take breakup a cyclonic mishap, but we fail to understand the flip side of it.

We do not realise it often but believing what our senior generation says about ‘whatever happens, it is for our good’, the present, post-breakup, turn you towards a new chapter in life. It gives you a new you. It affects us in ways unimaginable. Now you are wondering how right? Let’s take out the wraps and look at the unseen wows of a breakup decision.

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1. You indulge in your hobbies more than ever

You could relate to this if you had a rough breakup. Uh, breakup sucks. Not to reveal our fears or insecurity, or to do anything that can jam your ex anyhow, you might return to your long-forgotten old love, the passion of your life, your hobbies. Aah! What a solace you find there. There is nothing more serious and determined as a broken heart, right? You intentionally redirect your energy to work on the things that interest you the most. Do you find it easier said than done? Of course, yes. But once you become best friends with your hobbies, your ex loses fails to impress you anymore.

2. You spend more time with your family

The lost bird comes back to its nest. I think we all would agree that the breakup makes us realise how much we were messing up with our family life and in fact, brings us inches closer to them. Often, your lover button pushes you to despicable limits but credits to your break up; you sync in back with your real gems. Isn’t that the most amazing feeling to get to know that people around you love the raw you? Ganging up with your dad, getting few dictations from your upset mom, fighting cats and dogs with siblings, followed by lots of bitching and gossiping, all over again, you start enjoying your time at your den, all in wish to compensate for all the lost times of smiles and togetherness. You re-discover what your family means to you.

3. People don’t find you occupied with your phone all the time

Have you ever noticed yourself checking your phone’s chat windows? Did you find yourself bothered by not getting timely calls? Have you been reprimanded for hogging your phone continuously at the dining table? Have you behaved like a typical online stalker with your partner and kept a frequent watch on his or her updates on Facebook or Instagram? Now you would realise the unnerving connection between your love relationship and your cell phone. Strange but annoyingly true. The chatting and photo editing apps are sweeping all of your time and poor you, you are happily getting drifted away from the reality zone. This digital space is intersecting your individual and family space too dangerously.

Remember the times when you were stuck at your phone for hours, sending love emoticons, fighting on irrelevant petty issues and talking for hours as if it is something which is going to save the world. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, lovers are awake to life and freedom. So were you. Surely, break up was a good idea to enlighten you about your gross mobile phone addiction. For real, you again start connecting to the tiniest yet noteworthy details around yourself.

4. You find your emotional balance restored

Scientists at University College London have shown that love is blind indeed. They found that feelings of love lead to a suppression of activity in the areas of the brain controlling critical thought. One wrong person and it becomes emotional havoc. Isn’t it? All the time, it is about their needs, their smiles, their complaints, their worries. You feel not respected enough, emotionally blackmailed, mistreated, or just out of place.

Despite living this crappy life, you never question or rather, doubt your existence in their trying world. And even worse, can you see how desperate you were to hold on to your miserable state? You end up defragmenting yourself bit by bit. But once it is over, it is one hell of peace. All of a sudden, it strikes you who you are and what pathetic being you were becoming, had the breakup not happened at the right hour. It is like you start getting hold of yourself, getting your oxytocin, estrogen or testosterone levels back within the normal range. What a comeback, right? To regain your original version, break up was a good idea to bounce back and restore your emotional balances.

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5. You make independent decisions effortlessly

All of us at certain points in our lives, have surrendered to our partners, for good reasons unknown. Wondering any harms? When you become submissive in a relationship, it costs you, your confidence and ownership. You do it clearly out of your love, unaware of disastrous consequences of your blind faith. Breakup was a good idea because you were digging the grave of your self-confidence and ownership sense. Moving out of habit of relying unwillingly on readymade decisions, it gives you a setback, but you come out as a winner. And of course, who does not like to have independent say and free space to walk around? Time to raise a toast to freedom.

6. You don’t live a life of pretence anymore

To save your broken relationship, how many times have you pretended to accept all their belongings whole-heartedly? Can you count? Taking no as an answer, it signifies that your breakup was a good idea. You do not need to pretend to like their awful friends and annoying relatives. Did they have an irritating best friend or a dogmatist mother? Good news- you will no longer have to pretend to get along with these people just for maintaining the peace in your relationship.

7. Your body thanks you

To err is human. But little do we know that our body suffers the repercussions of our mistakes. In the process of a mismatch dating, we lose more than we realise. Emotionally, you get drained out. You are made to disrupt your familial relations, your personal and professional life balance and most of your routine. You have kept daydreaming while compelling you somehow to pursue unhealthy eating habits and chaotic time table.

Long hours of chatting and talking on phones raise another warning for your vital organs, especially your eyes and ears. But once in the state of melancholy post-breakup, you feel apologetic for not taking enough care of your body. You realise what you have put your body through. And that is when your body says thanks to you and tells you that breakup was a good idea for sure. You need not pretend unhurt by their diplomatic stands when it comes to their family or friends.

8. Your money rarely escapes from your wallet

The best sound ringing in the ears. Do you realise that you have just escaped from a financial drain off? How do you wish to swell your bank accounts instead of acting like a bank account itself for somebody else? Nothing comes for free, dear but one fallacious relationship and you are squeezed out like forever. It feeds on your money slowly and smartly. Out of generosity, we never question our ‘love’ but allow our ‘love’ to stay as a parasite and crumble us. Post-breakup, you get to realise how smart you are at savings.

Besides, you spend on your wish list things. Becoming selfish has never felt being this good. You window-shop, you peruse, and you buy. And for the first time, you have become your priority. This certainly calls for a Tarzan shout. Don’t you think the breakup was a good idea? I heard a sigh, and an ‘I swear.’

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9. You get your friendships back because now you have more time for your buds

After your breakup, there is somebody else even happier than you – your buddies. They have got their lost friend back to their territory. If you are in a dodgy relationship, you might well be kept away from your well-wishers, esp. your friends. In a blind move, you ditch your robust support system. The mistake which you probably realise later. Had not your love relationship come to an end, you would have missed a place to go to in your distress, a situation which spoils you to crazy limits, people who bring the best possible weirdo version of you. Reaching back to your gang is always a good idea. Oh boy! You can smell the freedom of all sorts of expressions. Definitely, the breakup was a good idea.

10. You proudly wear your workaholism on your sleeve 

Sitting at your desk with eyes staring at the impossible deadlines and at the same time, getting a ping on your phone saying ‘Baby, I need you to do something for me’, which when stayed up is followed by ‘Baby, don’ t you have time for me? That means you don’t love me anymore.’ Take a chill. You were already earning your money a hard way to keep your partner happy and fulfilled. But it is always a good idea to give up if this much fringing is taking place. Though your partner won’t t be able to understand the term “space”, you deserve yours. So quitting and breakup is a good idea as it allows you to work clear-headed at your work, without any unwanted worthless interference.

11. You are certain that you have relationship lessons for a lifetime

There was one time when your grandma was the primary source of the pool of experiences and various lessons to lead a healthy civil life. Now it is your situations, decisions and relations which do the job for her. Despite being in a negative association, you put to work all of your emotional resources. You somehow managed to sail together with plenty of perseverance. But it was in the very end when you got a reality check and gained some sense. Amongst a bunch of insights you got, best is never to curtail your existence in the relationship. You realise not to underestimate your power and potential and never to follow anyone blindly, even if it is just because of your love for the person.

The lessons you receive is a universal ‘wake up and stay alert’ call for almost all the breakup victims.

According to the recent figures out of the American Psychological Association as on July 27, 2018, as many as 50 per cent of marriages in the United States eventually end in divorce. But in India, the divorce rate is less than 1 per cent. Out of 1000 weddings, only 13 results in separation. But nothing to be happy about because the low divorce rate owes up to the social pressures, we generally succumb to. How about becoming a part of revolutionary India where you can fight for your freedom and genuine happiness? Do not regret it, because your breakup was a good idea indeed.

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Why do you feel your breakup was a good idea? Write your thoughts down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

Awkward First Date Stories and How to Avoid Them from Happening Again

When I say the word date, the first thing that pops in anyone’s mind is having a really good time. For many couples, dates are just about getting all decked up in the most trendy clothes to impress their date and going on fancy dinners. Well, going on a date is much more than that. In a relationship, you go on several dates. And out of all the dates you have been to, the first date is always the most memorable one. I am certain we all must remember our first date.

Many of you might be having some really good experiences during the first date, while some might have awkward first date stories to recollect. Dates can turn out to be both good and bad, depending on the situation. Sometimes if it doesn’t go well, we are left heartbroken, embarrassed, frustrated or angry. But if it all goes well, then you will wait for the next one.

Going on a date is exciting and scary at the same time. It is like you have barely know the person and you are going out to know him/her better. First dates are all about knowing each other, discovering various things, likes, dislikes, hobbies, nature. As there is a saying, “The first impression is the last impression.” The first date is all about the same. If you fail to present yourself properly, the person might reject you. You can get judgmental about the other person.
You have to be very careful when you express yourself and behave. This is really important when you go on a first date.

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Well, we have a fun topic today. We are going to discuss awkward first date stories. There is a lot to talk about it. If you have had any awkward first date experiences, I am here to your rescue.

I am going to give you several tips to keep yourself away from goofing up on your first date and allow you to make it a memorable one.

First dates can get tricky. And sometimes, the reasons are just stupid and funny enough to laugh at. Well, you can forget it with time but try not to make the same mistakes again.
While both the man and the woman should equally get a chance to speak, there are times when one talks and the other one only listens. It happens when one is introverted, and the other one is an extrovert. And this can get a bit irritating at times.

Sometimes, you or your date expresses views on certain things which can make things awkward. Passing on racist comments or being too much judgmental about a particular thing, how only men are superior to women, being a complete feminist, self-obsession, etc. These things will make you think if this is the right person to date or not. Well, these were some important and serious factors that need to look before you start dating.

Well, there are some stupid things that take place during the first date, which can be excused. For example, you or partner trying to be someone you are not. Or experimenting with clothes which make you look hot, sexy, smart or beautiful but they make you uncomfortable. Overdressing or under-dressing – both can leave you embarrassed. While girls try to put on lots of makeup, boys try to smoke to look cool (in both these cases, you might end up making a fool of yourself).

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Here is a good one! It is easily one of the funniest stories I’ve heard about forcing an accent to look cool on the first date. So, a friend of mine went on a date with a girl he met through one of his peer groups. And on the first date, she tried to act cool by faking an accent. But things got awkward when she goofed up. And uncontrollably, my friend burst out in laughter to her face. Obviously, it was quite embarrassing for her. But what we learn from this is that you should never try to be something you are not

Here is another incident that happened with a couple who went on a date. What happened at the end will make you laugh hysterically. So, everything between this couple was going great. They were having a good time together just when things start to get romantic. And just when the boy got closer to the girl to kiss her, she accidentally farted.

Now, obviously that has got to be embarrassing for the couple. I am sure the memory of this awkard first date must make them burst out in laughter even today.

Folks, there will be countless awkward first date stories. So if you have already had awkward first date stories and experiences, do keep these pointers in mind for the next time you go on a date.

1. Be yourself

This is the most important thing both a man and a woman should keep in mind while going on a first date. There is no need to act like someone or be someone you are not. You might simply goof up and make a big fool of yourself. Sometimes this may backfire you. This is like creating a fake identity of yourself and who knows your date might like you, but when they come to know about it, things may end. Your date may feel cheated because it is like you were lying about each and everything.

No one is perfect in this world, so just relax and act as normal as you can. Even then if he/she is not showing interest in you, you can just let it go as it was not meant for you.

2. Don’t say everything that comes to your mind; think before sharing stuff

First dates are usually about getting to know each other. But that doesn’t mean you say everything that is in your mind. First, see how things are going. Go again on a couple of dates and then decide whether they are good enough for you to share. Sometimes when you go in a flow and reveal a lot of things. This might create a problem for you and your date. They may or may not like it.

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3. Don’t get too drunk

Enjoying a couple of drinks on your first date is pretty great. However, you shouldn’t end up drinking too much. Well, there are several reasons for not doing this. Firstly, you might lose your senses and start talking nonsense, also your behaviour changes when you are high on spirits. Secondly, your date might think that you are a drunkard. Thirdly, you might end up creating a ruckus, leaving your date embarrassed. It might scare him/her away, and also they might not be able to handle this kind of situation, especially if you are on a first date.

4. Keep it breezy; don’t get into serious stuff

First dates are all about having a good time with the person. Talking to each other about random things and some fun stuff, revealing your hobbies, your favourite cuisine, a favourite pastime, talking about travelling, studies or work. It is better to keep the serious stuff away as things might not work well. You can’t discuss marriage, babies and serious stuff. This may get you in trouble and make things awkward for both of you. It is just a first date. You don’t need to think and talk too deeply about future stuff. So just chill out, relax and have fun.

5. Don’t have idealistic expectations

When you go on a first date, be prepared for both good and bad. Either your date will be a successful one or it won’t. So, go with zero expectations and see how things are going between you and your date. If you keep high hopes and things don’t work, you will end up being frustrated or heartbroken.

Also, when you are in conversation with your date, don’t talk too much about your expectations. This might make the person nervous, and they will start feeling the pressure. Don’t expect too much from the person because if they aren’t fulfilled, you will feel bad about it.

6. Avoid talking about past relationships

This is again one of the most important things to avoid awkward encounters during the first date. There might be many who went through breakups. They have already dealt with relationships, but you haven’t. If that person talks about his/her exes, things might get awkward; especially if they are your first ever date. That person won’t be comfortable and might also judge.

Revealing about your exes is quite personal stuff which shouldn’t be discussed during first dates. Let bygones be bygones as there are so many things to discuss and better ways to know a person rather than talking about their exes who are no longer relevant.

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7. Do some fun activity

Dates usually take place in cafes and fancy restaurants where the two can sip several cups of coffee or binge on delicious food while having a conversation. Well, sometimes doing some other stuff can make your first date less awkward, boring and more of a fun. So instead of sitting in a café, staring at each other, finding topics to talk, engage in some activity. Watch movies, go on a long drive, or go hiking. Such things will keep you both busy, and there won’t be any awkward silences between you two.

8. Avoid excess use of cell phone

You need to be very careful about this. Well, we all have a habit of constantly being busy with our phones all day. But when you go on a date, you must avoid using too much of your phone. If you keep doing this, your date may get irritated. Try to avoid taking unnecessary calls which can wait for a while. Focus all your attention on the person; this might make him/her feel more special. Also, avoid looking at your cell phone while the other person is talking as it will seem extremely rude. Also, the person will lose their cool.

9. Pay attention to personal hygiene

This applies to both girls and boys. Before you step out for your first date, make sure you look presentable. This means you should wear decent clothes, use a deodorant or perfume to smell good, make you are your teeth are properly brushed, and have a piece of gum or a mint to have fresh breath. Girls should properly comb their hair, while guys should be neat and clean with their beard trimmed. Make sure your hands are clean and nails are cut properly. This also represents a lot about hygiene and taking care of yourself.

10. Be presentable yet comfy in what you wear

You might be judged on your first date by your appearance. So wearing proper clothes is extremely important. We all want to look stylish, but sometimes, you end up being a fashion disaster. When you decide to go on a date, choose clothes which suits you and you are comfortable wearing them. For example, there are many girls who have never worn short outfits, but they try to experiment and later feel uncomfortable. Avoid getting yourself in such a situation. For boys too, don’t think too much about it. Just wear what you like, and you are good to go.

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So folks, above mentioned are some of the major things you need to take care before you go on your date. Awkward first date stories can leave you all embarrassed, but at the same time, you will also learn lots of things. You will simply avoid making the same mistakes again and make you outing a happening one.

It might happen that your first date won’t usually go well, or it might go too well. Just go with the flow, and don’t let it affect you in any way. If it is going well, continue going on many more outings, if it doesn’t, simply forget it and move on in your life.

I am certain you all must have had many interesting things about your first dates. How did you prepare yourself? How did you deal with it? What did you learn from your first date?

We would love to know all your wonderful, funny and even dreadful awkward first date stories. Write them down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

Why Are You Struggling With Love?

Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. Whoever experiences it can’t stop gushing about it. Being with your beloved can give you a world full of happiness. You feel safe and secure when you are with your partner. Everything seems to be beautiful. You don’t need to find reasons to be happy as happiness is surrounded all around you. Every person has a different kind of experience in love, relationships, and dating. However, sometimes these things can be a bit overwhelming. 

If love can you give tonnes of happiness, you also need to sometimes experience the pain. Having a relationship is no big deal these days. However, maintaining it for lifelong can be difficult. Sometimes things work out for couples, sometimes it doesn’t. There are many who once fail in love and lose faith. But there are many who don’t give up and gather yourself and find love again. 

The course of relationships keeps changing with times. Things were different back then. However, the whole idea of dating, having a relationship and getting married has changed in many ways. 

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Nowadays, couples are constantly struggling to keep their relationship safe. They fight to keep it going. So what’s this constant struggle? Is it because of the mindset of the two people? Or is it because of the societal pressures or is it something else? Well, these things depend upon the couple to couple. As we all know not all relationships are the same and everyone goes through different experiences. 

A very simple example of this is that we often tend to get irritated and less friendly to our environment when we are hungry. However, to fix out this problem is no big issue. Just have something and your mood will change. Much more difficult situation to solve is when our view of self-esteem needs a certain kind of balancing since the fundamental processes might not be clear to us.

So to get a deeper view on this question about what’s with all the struggling with love, let’s try to rule it out with some important things. There are many factors which can be responsible for the constant struggling with love and relationships. Here is what you should know.

1. You can’t decide what you want

This can be one thing which will keep you struggling with love. Not knowing what you want can be very frustrating at times. Also, in such a situation, it’s only you who can help yourself. If you can’t decide this, you might keep struggling. You don’t know if you want to date someone casually or have a serious relationship. You simply start dating someone and are totally unclear about your desire and expectations. By doing this, you let your partner handle the situation and here, you are left compromising. This way, you will constantly struggle and feel suffocated being in a relationship. Being real to yourself and being clear about your expectations can help you in a lot of ways. You don’t always need to go with the flow. As yourself what you want and what works for you? Once you find the answers to these questions, you’ll not struggle. 

2. You have set your priorities for the wrong things

Everyone’s perception is different from others’ in many things. You can’t expect your partner to have the same interests in everything you like. For example, you like watching horror movies, that doesn’t mean your partner will like them too. And based on this, if you think that he/she is not the right person for you, then you’re wrong. You need to place your values on the right things. Look out for things which can make your relationship last long and make your love grow. Don’t make decisions on superficial things. Instead, look out for fundamental factors like his/her views on commitments, life core values, priorities, future plans, etc. Giving yourself some time to understand the person can be very useful. Taking decisions in haste will make you regret in the future. If you and your partner expect these same things then you won’t be struggling with love.

3. You have lost your self-esteem after facing too many rejections 

This is not applicable to each and every one. However, there are many who completely give up when they face rejections. You can’t always expect a person whom you love to love you back. When you are rejected by anyone, it’s hurtful, but it’s not the end. Accepting that thing sportingly will help you. But if you lose all the confidence, you’ll never be able to find anyone and you will keep struggling with love. If someone you love rejects you that only mean that you both are not meant for each other for some reason. However, you are perfect as a person individually. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

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4. You are in a hurry to know your partner

If you are in love, that doesn’t mean you need to rush into things. Once you start dating someone, things will fall in place with time. Rushing into things will pressurize you as well as your partner. As you start spending time together, you’ll explore each other. Dating someone in a hurry and rushing them to know can ruin things. If you are expecting a lot of things from your partner but if you don’t get them, it will hurt you. Having patience is the best way to deal with such situations. Give yourself some time and your partner too to know each other. Just relax and enjoy your time. By doing this, you won’t be constantly struggling with love.

5. You believe if there is no happy ending, none of your relationships is worth it

We all fall in love with someone and expect things to work out. However, sometimes they don’t and you part ways. Things can go hunky-dory. But that’s not the end. Separation can be painful but you need to learn from it. It doesn’t mean you have wasted your time or lost anything. So what if one of your relationships didn’t have a happy ending, but it made you learn many things. You have grown as an individual and your perspective has also changed. If you find love again then you are already aware of how making it work and not repeating the same mistakes. Never lose faith in love and spread hatred. Instead, help yourself by being positive. Not all of your love stories will have a happy ending but someday, you might have one.  

6. You believe that the grass is always greener on the other side

This can be one of the reasons that you always struggle with love. For example, you have had 4 to 5 relationships and still, you’re not finding the right person. This only happens when you constantly try to find a better person. You’ll date someone then part ways to find someone who is much better than your previous partner. Well, there’s a constant struggle to be with that perfect person which leads to failure in relationships. But you should understand that no one is perfect and everyone has different qualities both good and bad. If you start comparing and date people on this basis, you’ll always end up alone. Accepting the person the way he/she is and making a few adjustments can make your relationship last long. Also, there won’t be a constant struggle to find a perfect match

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7. You lose your existence to make things work 

If you are dating someone, you take all the efforts to make things work out. You will constantly thrive to make your relationship stronger. But sometimes, you put more than extra efforts. And this happens on a regular basis. Sooner you will realize that you are compromising and adjusting too much. You tend to forget your expectations, demands, likes, and dislikes. It is all about your partner. On the other hand, your partner is enjoying all this attention and pampering. But he/she is not aware of your situation. You are constantly struggling and are not happy about it. When you compromise more than needed, there’s no love anymore, it’s more like you’re forcing yourself. And if your partner starts taking advantage of it, you’ll end up being frustrated. 

8. You give in to societal pressures 

As I mentioned earlier, relationships, love, marriage, dating can be overwhelming. Things work out for some people, while for some, it won’t. There are many people who fall in love once and spend entire life together. However, many go through many heartbreaks before they find their perfect match. Now, this doesn’t apply for the ones who are just dating. It also applies to people who are married.

As we all know relationships and marriage don’t come with a guarantee. In many cases, when a person experiences a lot of heartbreaks, or a person has gone through a failed marriage, they are constantly being judged. And by this, I mean by society. If you have experienced a lot of failed relationships or a failed marriage, it’s not that something is wrong with you. It’s just that you weren’t meant to be with that person. But society doesn’t see it in that way. They will judge you by all the means and find faults in you.

Sometimes to avoid these kinds of judgments, many of them, especially the married couples, forcibly live together. What will people say? What about my reputation? All these questions will constantly trouble you. This results in a constant struggle where there’s no love. Just compromises. You can’t see your relationship heading in the right way, but you are still together. Societal pressures can lead to depression; you don’t have guts to face the world, answer the painful questions, and hurt yourself and your partner as well. You might lose faith in love and start hating this beautiful feeling. 

9. You put too much emphasis on having a soulmate

There are many people who believe in having a soulmate. And there are some like me, who don’t believe in “that one person who makes everything right in your love life.” Does that mean I can never have a stable relationship with someone? Well, no!

Having a soulmate doesn’t mean they can be your life partner. Sometimes, you meet a person or more than one person, with whom you develop a connection. There are so much trust and compatibility that they are exactly the person you wish to have in your life. However, soulmates can just be your friends too.

A soulmate is the one who brings happiness, love, and positivity in your life. The one who will help you grow, stand beside you in your good and bad times. You can have more than one person in your life that will have these qualities. Don’t do a mistake of considering them as your life partner. There’s one special person created for every one of us in this world. If you find one, you’re lucky. If you don’t find, then accept it that you are destined to be alone forever. This is how it works. If you accept this fact, you won’t be struggling with love ever in your life.

We all fall in love and want to live a dreamy life which is full of happiness. However, sometimes in search of such happiness which you might not be destined to, you keep struggling with your relationship. This creates problems for you and your partner.

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Constant fights, arguments, lack of compatibility, disagreements can make things worse. If you are truly in love with someone, you don’t need to struggle. And if you are struggling, it means there is something wrong. Both you and your partner need to discuss the problem and try to solve it. In such a situation, both you and your partner need to take equal efforts to make your relationship work. However, in spite of trying hard to mend things, if it still doesn’t work. Then it’s best for you to part ways mutually and move on with your life. This way you won’t hurt yourself and your partner as well.

So folks, if you fall in love, make sure you are with the right person and not struggling to keep your relationship alive. And if you would like to share your struggles with us, write them down in the comment section below for your fellow writers!

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Love & Relationships

Perks Of Traditional Dating

Dating is no longer a concept but a major part of everyone’s life. Some people find dating to be way too overrated while some see dating as a means to meet their partner or even soulmate (for those who believe). For some people, dating is just being with a person for the time being. But this doesn’t apply to everyone. Sometimes, a casual date too can turn out to be a serious one and you might end up being with that person forever. Everyone has different opinions and views on dating, which mostly depends on their experiences. This also shows why traditional dating is still so popular even in 2019.   

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Some people think that dating is not their cup of tea since they might have had a bad experience or they are not good dealing with this. However, for some people, dating is a very casual thing and no big deal. They like to be with different people and aren’t afraid to explore and have options before they settle down with one person. 

In today’s time, we see every second person dating someone or the other. It has become a trend these days. You like someone from work, college, meeting someone in a party or at a social gathering, you start dating. When you date a person through these means, it’s just like a fling or infatuation. You don’t think much and just start seeing each other. This can be quite easy for many people. 

Well, I told you lots about modern dating and how things can be in such kind of dating. But there’s another well-known dating system which I’m sure you all must have heard about. And it’s called traditional dating. Well, in today’s modern times, there must be very less of them who believe in traditional dating and also try it out. 

For those who are not completely aware of traditional dating, let’s know about it. 

Traditional dating is completely opposite of the present-day types of dating. For example, online dating and speed dating. First traditional dating meetings happen face-to-face where two people meet for a brief period of time. 

Earlier, traditional dating had certain rules which have now changed with the times. For instance, women never used to call men, and it was the man who used to pay the bills. Today, the standards of conventional dating are not characterized clearly.

While a lot of people find traditional dating old-fashioned and outdated, others find such kind of dating very romantic, full of emotions, time-honoured prelude and a key to a long-lasting and successful marriage. Conventional dating takes place when parents find the right person for you, it is like an arranged marriage setup, blind-date or no-sex dating. There are many who believe in traditional dating and prefer it. They think this is the right way to find the right partner and begin a life together. 

While some things in traditional dating remain the same, there are some things which have changed with time. Years ago, i.e. in the 1950s, a man used to take the initiative of talking to a woman, asking her for a date and also paying the bills. Since there was no easy access to communication, the man used to ask the woman for a date several days ahead of it. After the woman accepts to go with him, he would arrange for a time to pick her up. The couple would usually go on movies or lunch and dinner dates. And premarital sex may also happen. But it varies from couple to couple.

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If we compare the rules of traditional dating today with the ones in the 1950s, they are very different. Your date may take place at a coffee shop or some public place. Usually, a man takes the initiative of asking first but it’s okay even if a woman has taken the initiative. It’s no big deal. It happens that man usually pays on the first date but sometimes a woman may go for Dutch. Nowadays, premarital sex is pretty expected and common after you go on a few dates. 

Well folks, now that the concept of traditional dating is clear to you, let’s dive into some of the advantages that come along with it. 

1. There is less physical contact

Like I told you, traditional dating is when you meet the person through your mutual friends or parents set you up with someone. So, it’s as good as you are certainly not too aware of the person. Before you completely know him/her, you can’t reach a level where you can get physical.

Dating in an environment that discourages physical contact before marriage offers the chance to know your date as a potential life partner on various significant levels. This can be even better when you have enough time to know your partner without worrying about involving into a sexual relationship. This will help you in focusing on other significant aspects of the relationship. You get a chance to think and also observe whether your date respects you and treats you properly, if he/she is honest with you, has the patience to listen to you and also communicate properly.

In traditional dating, both you and your date get a chance to share your objectives of life and see if it matches with your partner. In the event that you and your date both are aware that there won’t be any physical relationship know since the beginning, you will only depend on verbal communication and that will make you realize whether your date will make a decent marriage accomplice for you.

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2. You share the same values

Traditional dating lets you invest all the time and energy with the person who shares the same qualities and also has the same religious perspectives. So if you start dating a person with the intention of having him/her as your partner for life, you will make sure that your date too is expecting and looking for the same thing. On the off chance that you and your date go out with the understanding that you both view a definitive goal of dating is marriage, you won’t wind up pondering responsibility while your date will simply be wanting to have just a fling for short-term.

3. Matchmakers 

Some people consider taking the help of a matchmaker or consulting him/her too old-fashioned. But trust me, there are a lot of such matchmakers in every community who thrive. They help many in meeting the right person and assess their appropriateness as marriage accomplices.

A matchmaker who has a lot of experience clearly understands how to find a perfect match for a person. He/she knows how to set up appropriate couples. The matchmaker might take the help of parents and then set up two people together. Sometimes, he/she will directly communicate with an individual for the same set them up with an appropriate person. Many people avoid going on a blind-date as most of the times it might not end on a good note. This is why they prefer consulting matchmakers.

Aside from countless families in numerous networks, individuals too rely on and seek advice from these matchmakers. They take the help of either a community matchmaker or the one who is a member of their religious association. These matchmakers have all the information about every single boy and the girl of the community. Also, there are fewer chances of being ended up with the wrong person. Both families are aware of each other’s family background and status. So now, it’s up to the girl and boy to decide whether they like each other or not.  

4. Arranged marriages

In arranged marriage set up, both the boy and the girl’s parents are involved. They choose the right partner for you which suits your preferences and with whom you can spend your life. In an arranged marriage set up, usually both the families are known to each other. Many people think that arrange marriage set up is not suitable for them and this doesn’t allow you to take your own decision. But there are some who think that this custom makes stronger a subsequent marriage by including the individuals who know the couple the best and that’s your parents.

In various communities, the parents first meet the families and investigate thoroughly about the person to make sure they are choosing the right person for their child. Well, only once the parents are fully satisfied with the family and the date with whom they are going to set their child, that’s when the couple can meet. Parents first determine all the aspects of the date. The people who support this custom, claim that this decreases the chances of failed dates that occur among young people who date only for marriage.

The other advantages of traditional dating are that it is more comfortable. Your or your date’s mutual friends make you feel very secure and comfortable when it comes to dating. You too feel secure and can trust your date since you know that your friends very well know the person. This is one of the most important advantages of traditional dating.

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There’s real-life chemistry between you and your date. Unlike online or speed dating, you will know right away whether there is chemistry between you two or not.

When you opt for traditional dating, you will have lots to talk and lots to explore each other. Since you barely know the person’s likes, dislikes, hobbies, other qualities, habits, tastes, preferences, etc. you will come to know about it as you spend time together. You can your partner will keep discovering various things about each other even after marriage. Also, there will be lots of things which will leave you surprised. It is pretty exciting to get to know something new about each other every day. The most beautiful thing is to happily accept it and live with it forever. 

When two people meet through an arranged marriage set up, they are likely to be more excited to be with each other. They constantly make it a point to communicate and make sure the other person is comfortable. After a few dates, they tend to get comfortable. They have lots to discuss, apart from their personal life. Once their marriage is fixed, they can have long conversations about their impending wedding. From discussing the various wedding functions to coordinating about how they would twin in each functions. Asking each other’s thoughts about where to go on a honeymoon, deciding what all they will explore together, how they will manage each other’s hectic work schedules and sparing some time for each other, all these things will make you want to live with your partner ASAP.

The trends of dating have changed and will always keep changing but this concept of traditional dating is unlikely to change. Thousands of people believe in traditional dating which leads to a beautiful journey of marriage and they live happily ever after. 

Traditional dating has led to many successful marriages and they are still very happy about finding a life partner through this. They also recommend this to many individuals who are finding it difficult to find a partner on their own. There will always be advantages and disadvantages with the whole dating thing, be it traditional dating or modern dating. But if you focus on the pros rather than cons, then you can definitely have a successful relationship and a marriage by means of traditional dating. 

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It is widely accepted across the world and this should continue for ages without thinking that it is outdated.   

Do you like the concept of traditional dating? Do you find it right to date someone or marry someone through traditional dating?

We would love to know your views. Write them down in the comments section below for your fellow readers! 

Categories
Love & Relationships

12 Perks of Online Dating

In a better world, where we are seeking out the better ways of everything, dating cannot remain a miss. Online dating is a boon to modern society. Looking at the online dating statistical part, popular dating apps like Tinder, Happn, Woo, OkCupid, TrulyMadly, etc. are seeing a crazy hike in their customer base. With lots of apps crowding the digital space, online dating is experiencing an immense rise in its future scope. The best dating apps are using various features to point out your match within seconds. Despite all of this, the online dating culture is not into full throttle acceptance arena. Many people are still considering it as a threat to their privacy or are just finding it risky.

In the process to add sense to this vulnerable modern approach of dating, let us focus on certain perks of online dating.

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1. It opens up an ocean of options

Earlier, your life was restricted to schools or college or your colleagues. There was hardly anyone you knew or meet outside of your social circle. There was a limited set of options around you. Compromises were common because selections were must. Thanks to the digital age, nothing remained the same. People find it much alluring to get choosy and select from a variety of matchable candidates. You may like or chose somebody far beyond your social network.

Be it online dating applications or matrimonial sites or simply social media platform; you may feel the connection to anyone out of place and out of nowhere. And if you want an actual face-to-face dating interaction, no need for continuing your online communications endlessly. Instead, narrow your search to a specific set of “must-have” features. Talk to those who make it to the list. Go ahead and breathe.

2. Online dating brings two separate worlds together

Love attractions are not religion or caste or race dependent. In fact, opposites attract. Online dating gives a platform to voice your unbiased love to your kind of people from across the world. This system unites us in a unique way where our hearts do not distinguish much. You attempt to outlaw various stigmas at a single time. The tender feelings outweigh the orthodox view of society. You are in the process of opening your heart to someone giving you the tingling out-of-the-world feeling. This online dating concept has literally shrunk the world into a digital minion.

3. It helps to break the ice a lot easier

Since online daters share so much information about themselves in their respective profiles, it is easier to initiate the conversation and hit the right cords. For example, if you see in ‘someone’s profile that they like to watch horror genre movies, you can start it off by asking how he did, or she finds ‘the conjuring’ movie series and both can discuss on and on. You need to pull a Sherlock Holmes and guess more about your partner’s affinities.

4. You enjoy the freedom of expression

Dating becomes more fun when its mode becomes online. You feel like flying without any strings attached. No space for anxiety, nervousness, over-cautiousness, and no need to suffer any melodrama. Precisely, you have adequate freedom of expression. While dating online, the partners do not feel pressurized to express every emotion. The conversation instead becomes genuine and sailing. This liberty to be natural is very much needed for orchestrating the bond development between two interested parties. It is as if you are driving on a highway, enjoying the wind and moving at your own speed. This twosome ride is exhilarating and thrilling.

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5. You become almost omnipresent

Accessibility becomes way too easy and under control. Being busy and not able to see each other does not remain a bother anymore. You can chit chat about your daydreams and troubles any time of the day or can say, night. Your rush hours or far away abode has become a trivial matter concerning online dating. Giving time to your digital love affair has never been this easy. Picking hot spots to meet at or family forbidding you to step out is not hampering your love life anymore. In some sense, you are available everywhere (of course, your Internet services or connecting gadget must be present along with you).

6. Online dating means leaving the orthodox behind

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a healthy and growing family environment around them. There are still many of us who are surviving a constricted mindset of family values. Following a set of conservative traditions as laid by generations and unable to move on to a sensible and constructive living approach, many people tend to suffocate, suppress, and box their emotions and dreams somewhere else. But the foray of online dating has given them wings. They are daring to love and feel loved in a safe and secure corner of their lives. They are able to make choices, display their true selves, and lead a dream life behind the lens. Online dating is a game-changer for them, at least for a while.

7. It is safer than it appears

In the times of exaggerated cases of frauds, nuisances, blackmailing, relationship burglary, forced relationships, etc., online dating approach is a somewhat safe mode of knowing each other. Yes, there have been plenty of scary stories about online dating, but as of now, it can be termed as a safer option than meeting a random stranger out in the open.

The things you want to reveal or keep hidden is entirely your decision. You are dating someone completely unknown. Definitely, as a mature move, you need not share any of your data until and unless you are convinced enough about the authenticity of your online partner. You can keep your pictures, contact details, address, and family details intact in your hands. Generally, people search through the databases of social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, etc. as well, to check the authenticity of the partner on the other side.

One can exercise control in delivering only the necessary information required. In any case, prevention is always better than a complaint. Online dating sites have lots of safety features to protect their customers. These include 24/7 customer and help support, moderators to remove fake profiles, and tabs to block and report abusive members. Some sites also verify or do background checks on every member so as to prove their identity match with whatever mentioned in their profile.

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8. Online dating may eliminate stress and anxiety

Many a time, when you have started one relationship, you might find it near to end too soon. Speculations reveal that generally, it happens when either A. You are too good at reading incompatible people around you or B. you are too immature to handle or show the feelings in the natural passionate way. Your spiking anxieties eventually disrupt your two-way communication. But if you are into online dating, bid adios yo these roadblocks. Human psychology plays, and you are in an extremely comfortable zone where you need not confront each other face to face. You can spill your heart and mind out without any fear or complex.

9. It is an easy loyalty tester

If you somehow want to check the loyalty of your partner’s character, it becomes much easier for you in the online dating system. You can impersonate anybody or become whoever you want and ring your partner’s bell. If you are good with words and acting, your partner would be substantially scrutinized without even a hunch of your motive. You need not employ other people to become a part of your saga.

10. You spend a lot less on online dating

Have you ever heard of cost-effective relationship? Well, here is what you need to know. This method of dating asks for the least investment of money on a budding relationship. You get an ample volume of time and space to know about each other. Choosing more carefully who you go out with means you waste fewer dates and invest less time. You need not spend extravagantly on organizing candlelight luxury diners or any musical evening involving exorbitant elements or trips which may cost you dearly. You can abstain from buying expensive gifts for your prince or princess charming for a while. At the stage of online dating, words and feelings hold more value comparatively.

Using innovative apps and sending e-gifts or e-wishes holds the potential of bringing you much closer to each other. There are various affordable dating websites which even offer you trial offers wherein you can zero-in some potential partners good-to-go with. There is always a premium membership option where you can get some advanced search features, but it will definitely cost you cheaper than buying drinks and lavish meals or entry tickets for clubbing, right? Online proposals are not uncommon these days. It saves times and money considerably.

11. Breaking up is less hurtful

Breaking up with your partner always brings irreparable grief but detaching on an online platform makes it slightly more comfortable to be absorbed. The online platform is a volatile one where things might end and start back to back because of the vast numbers of users on either side. You’d hesitate less in initiating it with some other app user. And you would not mind much since you never got involved physically, and you might never be coming across your online-ex any time again without your consent. Also, you might overcome the grimly consequence of your relationship easily with time and well, online dating apps.

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12. The thrill and excitement does not go away quickly

At this specific point, online dating stands at par with an arranged marriage. There is a vast ocean of things to know about your partner in question. Lots of thrills and excitement awaits. The more you know each other, the more you will realize how well tuned you both are. Currently, you might be friends with benefits, but if you get struck by the cupid’s bow, you might turn into souls with the connection.

Several apps and match-making websites have incorporated features which enable you to check for the compatibility points. Few of them also allow you to record and maintain your tuned frequency moments. You can have a checklist of your own to click and save the notable incidents. The online dating process is not meant to be rushed into. You are free to use your time and know your partner’s likes and dislikes, turn-ons and turn-offs, preferences, passions and hobbies, work, academics, anything you wish. It would always be a thrilling ride for you.

Difference Between Traditional and Online Dating

It is true that your relationship will rarely get boring very quickly if you met your partner through online dating. There would be a sense of warmth and cosiness, even in words like ‘hmmm,’ ‘ok,’ ‘ohk,’ ‘okay,’ and ‘kk’ will hold a different meaning to each of them. And this is because you are accustomed to conversing over texts more than in person. Voice and video calls will wire your feelings unconsciously. And you will pay heed to all of the minute details involved in your online conversations, to interpret your partner even more. Since you are going to take it slow, there would always be bundles of information in store for you.

Traditional dating makes you put a lot more effort into your relationship because you have to start from scratch. You have to start from “What do you like doing in your free time?” to “where are you from?”

However, it is crucial to remember that online dating is best used as a resource to meet individuals for eventually facing each other in real date set-up. Keeping that goal in mind will prevent you from pondering over the drawbacks and limitations of dating online.

What are some other perks of online dating according to you? Write them down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Categories
Love & Relationships

First Date Mistakes – 18 Things You Should Never Do on Your First Date

Okay. So, finally, it is happening. You got a ‘yes’ from your crush, and you are floating among the clouds. Those dreams of getting hitched to your favourite friend, vacating on a cruise or walking on the grassy meadows in a valley or somewhere soaking around in the sunbath on a tranquil white sandy beach or even making out in a treehouse, all of it might soon become a reality, provided your crush gets the impression that you are worth it.

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It is a big deal to impress your friend on the very first date of yours. In the case of marriages arranged, It might be your first time to sit and talk to your quite possible match. But instead of the cupid arrows, our stupid acts can drown the whole ship in a few seconds. And goes the infamous saying, the first impression becomes the last impression.

Let me brief out the typical first date mistakes you are prone to make to spoil your fancy evening.

1. Being late

Ouch! Making your date wait for you would rather upset that person even before knowing the real you. You might be tagged as a non-punctual and irresponsible person for like ever. Your date might misunderstand the situation, finding themselves not important enough in your life. So even if you get late to the venue, please make sure that you get some arrangements and favours made to your date in your absence as well, so that the impression goes rather positively.

2. Disagreeing on the venue

There are people who like grooving bars, others have an affinity towards fine dining restaurants, or even they might want to go to some natural habitats like parks or adventure zones like trekking etc. So before finalizing the venue, if possible, try to make sure about the taste of your concerned person. The more comfortable your partner is, the better your date will be.

3. Being rude to your server 

This is definitely in the checklist of your dating partner. They are pretty observant of all your traits. All your love and affection will become trash if you do not have a warm heart towards service people. Treating somebody in a unique way and ill-treating your subordinates in a disgusting way never go hand in hand. It is a turn off instance for them instantly. On the other hand, Showing small acts of kindness and being grateful towards the service community will earn you admiration and appreciations in heaps.

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4. Giving a hard lecture on open-ended issues

If you are going to be dating partners, it does not imply that your opinions must date as well. Becoming much opinionated about any social or personal issues is one of the most prevalent first date mistakes you must avoid. Dating is an open-ended discussion affair. You should never seem to impose your thought process on your mate. You must control your selection of apt words and way of presenting your views. Opinions may differ, and you must respect this aspect of individualism.

5. Bragging about income, possessions or skills 

Among the notable points in the list of first date mistakes, this is the most disastrous one. The moment you start crowning yourself, the momentum of the conversation lowers down. By bragging about your income, possessions and individual skills, you are somehow belittling the one who you are supposed to make your life partner someday. Your dating partner is not here to listen to your self-performance – appraisal. Your bio-data does that for you already. He or She wants to see how much simple, open, grounded and well-mannered and well-tuned you are. So portray your kind features instead of proclaiming the throne all by yourself.

6. Bringing your best friend along on the date

Who does this? Yeah right. It is a rare mistake experienced. But there are people who out of nervousness and anxiety, follow this approach. Let me tell you; it is a bad option because it is no longer a date. It might become a group discussion or casual friend’s hangout. Your dating partner may find it awkward to talk to you on various personal issues. This approach does the worse when you are stereotyped as an emotionally challenged person in the eyes of your dating mate.

7. Getting too chatty or cheesy

A date is for two people, to know each other thoroughly. So it is advisable to be short on words at times. You must give enough space in your conversations. If you really look forward to connecting to your date-mate, you must be as good at listening as well. Avoid picking cheesy lines in the process of impressing him or her. Give enough romantic cues but do not overdo yourself.

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8. Being too bossy

You might be Miranda Priestley from ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ or the badass Heisenburg from ‘Breaking Bad’ to everyone but hold on, you need to drop your weapon when you are on a date. The date is about how coherently you can create a romantic vibe all around you. It is about moderation. You must not look like someone in command. Take care of the little things. Show genuine gestures. Trying to dominate your date would be one of the worst first date mistakes.

9. Boasting about self-achievements

You might be topping the charts at school or college or your workplace, even your as well, but your special first date is definitely not the place to showcase it. Usually, it pisses out people. Dating is to know each other as a whole, not just about the accolades and achievements. So, discussing failures may bring you even closer too.

10. Lacking basic table manners

Table etiquettes matter a lot when it comes to dating. Winning a heart straight away has never been this easy. Little sweet gestures and behaviours tell a lot about your personality. Pulling off the chair for a girl, offering your partner the menu card first, talking less while eating, chewing without much sound, paying the bill etc. are few instances where we can mark our impressions right away. Failing to

11. Avoiding eye contact

It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul. Your eyes say a great deal about your character. Making eye contact indicates that you are listening and paying attention well to your partner. It also shows how much focused or interested you are throughout the communication. It indicates your honesty and confidence level. Avoiding eye contacts shows an altogether different picture. It might appear to your partner as if you are least interested in the communication any more. This would exacerbate the situation and diminish the real chances of your teaming up together.

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12. Beating around the bush

Among the first dating mistakes, this one is to be taken care off keenly. Any boring conversation might dim the chances of getting one step closer to your partner. Talking about the matter of friends, friends of friends, office matters or going too much philosophical is already deflecting your purpose of dating. Instead of beating around the bush, discuss on relevant issues, get a taste of her or his likes and dislikes and make your date partner as much comfortable to open up enough and speak their heart out.

13. Becoming judgmental

One must do what one expects. Nobody would like to be judged in the very first meeting. The first date is a crucial point where we are nervous and excited and tend to arrive at judgements quickly. Some of you might consider good looks, good hair, sparkling smile, choice of outfits, shoes etc. while others might attend to keen details like your body language, your communication skills, logical ability, wit and sense of humour among other hidden traits. Keep in mind that first meetings might be deceptive or confusing. If you like or dislike your dating mate, do not arrive at final judgements without giving a chance twice.

14. Not taking your odours into consideration

Odours need the utmost attention when it comes to seeing someone. They quite strongly influence the consequences of your evening. Ignoring your body or mouth odour issues can prove devastating for your dreamy date night. In order to avoid this first date mistake, make sure to keep your breath super fresh and do not skip using exquisite body fragrance. Please note not to overdo it. Trust me, your partner might want to stick to you for all night along.

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15. Doing it the typical date style

A quick suggestion for all the dating aspirants- don’t go for the distinct ways. Following the same repetitive approach might result in an avoidable first date mistake. Going on an unconventional date is the new trend. Think about the out-of-box ideas to kindle the sparks and let them do their magic on your first date occasion. Your dating partner might feel thrilled and excited all along with the date, enough to keep both of you lost in your special moment.

16. Presenting an artificial version of you

If you are going to date for the first time, you will try to make everything extravagant. You would be putting efforts to create a filmy version. In this attempt, you might not remain the real you. You might seem to do a complete look makeover. If not English language friendly, you might speak non-stop terrible English. You might tag yourself as a big-time influencer with a bunch of contacts in hot fields.

In the desperation of getting a ‘yes’, you might paint an entirely different picture of the income status of your family. That is quite a natural phenomenon. We think that we are doing it for our good, which is a serious misconception. The date is not only about the impression game, but it also lays the foundation of a budding relationship nurtured by truth and love. The moment you tend to become artificial, you have successfully created a black hole for the future relationship. So back off from this idea and stay in the real zone.

17. Trying to show off your bank balance

This is the most hated conversation part of any date. Instead of committing this mistake on your first date, know more, show less. That implies that think and discuss more on the radical facets of life rather than going on numbers in your bank account. Be sensitive towards the flow and exchange of emotions. Never try to show off your bank balance.

18. Discussing all your previous relationship(s) 

Why to spoil your present for your never returning past? Ask this to yourself before even starting such a weird conversation. By the end of it, it would be putting both of you in hell awkward positions. Remember, discussing your previous relationships is neither heroic nor will it be decorating your first date with beautiful memories. You never know how it will hit on your dating partner’s perception of you as a lover. So avoid committing this grave first date sin.

The first date is always an experience to remember throughout your life. And no first date is perfect. But just in case, if you really want to get to the moon in the first attempt, this blog may prove to be the turning point of your love life. No guarantees but some of these silly mistakes may be spared in your adventurous first date ever.

What first date mistakes did you make? Write then down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!