Have you ever considered dating an older man? It may be frowned upon by society, but love is love. Unless you are not hurting anyone or ‘destroying a family’ (you know what I mean by this), feel no shame in dating a man who is twice or thrice your age. In fact, there are a lot of positives to dating an older guy, and that is precisely what we are going to discuss today.
So, coming to my question, if you are thinking of dating someone older than you, you are in for a treat, girl! Being with an older man is incredible for so many reasons. I think some of my best dating memories are with this guy who was around ten years older than I was. It was a long time ago but what I learnt in that relationship has stayed with me even today. Therefore, drawing from my experiences and those of the others, here are 30 things that will definitely happen if you date an older man.
You Might Also Like: Let’s Debunk 25 Most Common Myths About Dating
1. You would have mature conversations
Dating an older man is much more insightful than you would think it to be. They have so much experience in life that their speech begins to bear witness to it. Their maturity gets reflected in their conversations. And they don’t mind sharing the wisdom that they have gathered in all their years. Don’t worry! It is not as dull as you think it would be. It is actually quite fun. You know exactly whom to go to when you need information on something and don’t want a machine to tell you.
2. He will accept you as you are
You would think that going to him for information would make you look dumb in front of him. But that is rarely the case. The older you grow, the more accepting you become of people, simply because you have interacted with all kinds of people by that age. So, conversing with anyone comes naturally. Older men are less picky. They accept you as you are. So, you can skip the shower for three days, slap on some deodorant and go out for your friend’s wedding. And they would not bat a judgemental eye. Everything is cool with them!
You Might Also Like: 16 Unique Things That Tell Your Boyfriend Is the Real Deal
3. You will get a unique perspective on things
Dating an older man, in many ways, is like dating a child. For instance, just like a child sees things from a different perspective, older men also begin to see things from a different point of view. The reason is that at their age, they get some kind of stability in their lives and thought process. This makes them take a look at things with much more patience and newness. Also, they have already tested all the available perspectives. So, the only option left for them is developing a new viewpoint. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
4. He won’t need to be taken care of like a baby
Say what you may, but men do need to be taken care of. They are man-children. I really feel they are less civilised than what is the standard expectation of society. But your big guy would not need that. He has already spent more time than you have on this earth. And there is a high possibility that he has already gone through the training phase with one of his previous partners. So, now he knows exactly how to take care of himself without anyone else’s help. Phew! You can cross one thing off your list.
5. His life won’t revolve around you or yours
In his 20 (or more) years that he has spent more than you on earth, it is evident that he has managed to establish a life for himself that does not involve you. It may even be possible that his plans were solidified way before you were even conceived. So, you can go out with your friends without worrying about getting 47 missed calls from him. You can make plans without including him in them, and he still would not mind because he will be doing the same. In conclusion, you would always get your space when you would need it.
You Might Also Like: 11 Uncommon Things Men Expect from their Girlfriends
6. You will experience a different and better sex life
There is one thing that you would not have to do with your big man. You would not have to teach him how to do it in bed. Because he knows. He has spent half of his adult life improving his moves and making himself better in sex. And now, finally, he gets only to enjoy your compliments on how much you like what he does to you. He has also tried most of the positions and has probably invented some of his own and might try it with you. That would be something different and new for you in the bedroom area, too.
7. There will be better finance in your relationship
Your older man has probably made fixed deposits and savings throughout his life, and because of that, you get to only enjoy the good financial phase with him. He already knows how to manage his finances so you would not have to teach him that. Another thing off the list! Also, at his age, he would not have a job. He would have a career in a field that pays him well enough for him to have fun and save up a little, too.
You Might Also Like: 10 Dreams About Love Everyone Has
8. He will shower you with knowledge of the world
You may already be an Einstein for your age, but there are chances that he has read more things than you have. He knows more than you do. And if he really does know more than you do, you should lay back and shut up. If he is teaching you or even telling you something, instead of considering it as mansplaining, listen! Chances are you have not heard of it before, and if you have, you are likely to learn something new about the subject. So, darling, listen to him when you are out on a dinner date, and he suddenly begins to talk about the Holocaust. Or even when you are simply having a cup of coffee sitting in your balcony at 2 am and talking about the celestial alignment. You might learn something new.
9. Your man will be more decisive
You would not have to tell him what to wear. Should he wear the winterberry shirt or blue shirt on a Monday morning? Don’t stress too much, honey. He already knows the answer to that. And why stop at shirts? If you are going to a restaurant with him, you would rarely hear the words “you can order for me.” Your man already knows what he wants. In fact, he decided that the moment he decided to come to that restaurant. He knows how many drinks he is going to have and what dessert he is going to stuff himself with. You would not have to decide that for him. So, that is yet another thing that you can cross off of your list.
10. He will be straightforward with you
Don’t be surprised if you ever hear him say “That dress does not look good on you” or “You sound dumb when you say that.” It is not that he does not respect you. On the contrary, he respects you enough to be honest with you. He does not want to keep you in the dark. Also, it does not matter to him if you don’t agree with him. Unless he is hurting your feelings, he would not lie to you. And exactly for this reason, your older man makes for your biggest critic. So, if you have a work-in-progress manuscript or a piece of artwork that you just can’t put your finger on what is wrong with it, let him have a look. He might just spot it out.
11. Jealousy? What is that?
While not all men are like that, if you are with the right guy, you are likely to end up with someone who does not get jealous. And I mean actual jealousy where you go out with a boy (not a brother, just a friend/colleague) and him directly accusing you of cheating on him. Your older man would not be stooping so low. The simple reason for that is again, they have reached stability at their age and it does not really bother them if you are hanging out with your male friends alone. As long as you are faithful and loving toward them, they are okay with everything.
You Might Also Like: 17 Unnoticeable Signs That Your Partner Is Cheating on You
12. He won’t get as excited about things as you sometimes would
Until this point, being with an older man seemed like cheerful and glee. However, here is a little bump that may possibly ruin your ride. And honestly, I would be surprised if you did not see this coming. Your man may be adventurous but he may not be excited about everything that you may be. That is one of the cons of being in this territory. It is likely that he has already seen or experienced something before and although he wishes that he were as excited about it as you are, he just cannot. And that should be okay because you signed up for this. So, don’t frown if he is not as excited to go underwater diving as you are because he has already had his first time.
13. Grandpa jokes will become a usual thing
“Were you present at the party where Pachelbel played Canon for the first time?” or “It must be nice to know God personally since you are just 2 years apart” would become extremely common at dinner. Addressing him with the words ‘grandpa’ or ‘poppy’ is also a usual thing. In fact, he would find it funny, too because well, he also knows what he signed up for when he decided to date a younger woman. Also, I feel you should load yourself up with all the oldie jokes and taunts that you can think of. It is anyway going to take up half of the rest of your time together. Might as well be prepared for it!
14. You will like him in a beard and a clean shave
Now that your man is in his golden years, he probably has his maturity showing on his face. And while you may be a fan of his beard, you would be surprised to see him clean up, dressed in a three-piece suit, all ready to take you out to brunch. Don’t be taken aback by his ability to rock both a beard and a clean shave equally well. He might have failed to charm women in his youth but now that he is older and has mastered the art, he can floor you. Perhaps literally!
15. He will know his chores
No more planning weekend-only trips. You can now stop cancelling your plans because you are afraid your big baby at home would either starve to death or die of the smell coming out of his own socks while you are away. One of the perks of dating an older man is that he knows how to survive. This means you can leave him alone in a room with a knife and expect him not to hurt himself without a second thought. He can cook his own food, do his own laundry and in fact, he can even clean up after his own mess, too. All without any supervision. I think you should take the deal. It sounds perfect!
16. You will not have to tell them how to dress
I may be repeating myself here, but it is indeed true that older men know how to dress up for every occasion. They may have been taught by their exes, or they may be self-taught. But they do. You don’t have to pick out their clothes for them. Just tell them where you are taking him and leave the rest to him. And don’t be surprised if you see him matching his blue sherwani with offwhite salwar for your cousin’s wedding. He knows exactly what to wear.
17. His hugs will make you feel safer
When he would put his arms around you, you would likely get daddy vibes. It is NOT gross! It is actually assuring in many ways. As a woman, your primary and best protector is your father. And when you can find the same kind of comfort and solace in your older guy’s hug, it would instantly make you feel safer. It is kind of like a home away from home. What more can you ask for?
18. He won’t expect you to text back immediately as if you are free all the time
Although this habit is credited majorly to women, men are also capable of being annoyingly nosy. They can pester you for not responding on time till the end of the world. Thank god for older men. They are much more secure than younger men. So, they don’t feel the need to be policing over you all the time. It is okay if you cannot reply to their texts immediately. They also don’t mind if you leave their phone unanswered because you are buried in work. Older men are much more understanding than younger men, and that is why not responding to calls or messages is not something that you would typically end up fighting about.
You Might Also Like: 20 Secrets to a Happy Relationship that Everyone Should Know
19. You will not have to order for him anymore
As mentioned before, your man would be more decisive in a restaurant. If you are at McDonald’s, he is sure that he is going to be ordering McSpicy Chicken Meal (M) for himself because that is the only thing he likes there. He would not change his order from medium to large either because although he wants his burger, he is not a fan of too much coke and fries. See how resolute that was? Expect all your visits to the restaurants to be exactly like this.
20. He has already reached his goal, and he will teach you how to reach yours
Need career advice? You know whom to approach. As mentioned before, older men don’t have a job. They have a career. Older men are already settled in their profession and are usually content with what they do. And with his years of experience, he knows how he got where he did. So, he might just save you the bumpy ride and get you to your destination sooner. I guess this man is only going to bring in a ton of good news for you!
21. Telling your parents about it won’t be easy
Oops! I think I spoke too soon when I said your man is only going to shower you with good news. Because there is one thing that would not be as pleasant as everything else. Your parents are probably waiting for you to introduce them to someone your age (3 years apart give or take). And imagine their discomfort when you show up at their house with a guy who can join their community club. I say discomfort because it can be extremely awkward. But you have to figure out a way to make them understand that age is not a factor that you look in a partner and that you are happy in your current relationship. All I can say is good luck with that!
22. He won’t starve if you leave him alone
By now, he knows how to toast his bread, how to make three different kinds of eggs and five different types of rotis. He has also byhearted the recipes for pulao, khichdi, poha, aloo parathas and pav bhaji. In fact, if you are hungry on your way home and he has some time on his hands, he might even surprise you with some custard or caramel pudding. Fancy schmancy but you get the point, don’t you?
You Might Also Like: What Happens When You Date Someone of Your Zodiac Compatibility?
23. Whatever your problem is, he has probably faced it already
Your boss is being sexist or just acting fresh? Tell him. He would not beat the beep out of him like the male protagonists of Bollywood films do, but they would tell you the right way of dealing with it like a mature adult. Besides, it does not matter if your problem is a perv boss or simply a documentation error in your loan application. There is a high possibility that he has already faced that problem and that he knows the solution to it.
24. He will be emotionally stable
Sure, he will cry because this one is completely in touch with his feelings. But he will also understand the simple fact that being an old man does not mean you have to hold back from expressing yourself. It means respecting your feelings enough to emote them whenever they require to be expressed. And that is a sign of a true man!
25. Personal space will come naturally in this relationship
You would not have to call him every hour to tell him that you are okay and you will call him the minute you are finished with what you are doing. One text or call would convey him the message that you need your space. And honestly, he would do nothing but respect your request/demand. Because he would understand exactly how important space is for every individual.
You Might Also Like: 15 Unconventional Signs to Look Out for When You Are in Love
26. You will have to accept his past
Your old man is going to come with a lot of baggage, and if you can’t take that, maybe you are not ready to be with someone who is older than you are. You would have to accept the fact that he might have an ex-wife or children or any other such committal relationship apart from you. And you should not deprive him of or disturb his arrangement in any way.
27. He will have a balance in his life that you may seek in yours
He has not turned his hair grey for no reason. Your older man would have fallen and risen like a phoenix more than a thousand times. And after all that, he might have gained a balance that you seek in yours. Perhaps he can help you with that, too!
28. You will know him completely because he will know himself
The step to knowing a person is allowing them to know themselves. You cannot fully understand a person unless they have figured themselves out entirely. Fortunately, your man is older and wiser. He has introduced himself enough to articulate exactly who he is and what he wants to have. Your man would have absolute clarity about himself, which would help you know him better.
You Might Also Like: 25 Films Every Couple Should Watch Together
29. People will call you names and talk behind your back
Yup! Time for a reality check. People may not be as evolved as you both are. Therefore, you would undoubtedly hear them foul-mouth about you as a couple. Perhaps on your face, but mostly behind your back. And while everybody has their way of dealing with this, for me, the best thing to do is turn a deaf ear toward them. Rather than paying attention to what they want to say about you, it is best to work toward making your relationship stronger and more loving.
30. But only the two of you would know what your relationship is really about
Because only you know what it is really like to be in love with each other. So, my greatest advice to you would be – don’t let anybody take your happiness away from you. If you are in a legal, happy and loving relationship with your man, let age be reduced to a mere number. And enjoy your life together!