After writing the previous part of this article, I could not stop myself from finding out more movies that teach us about relationships. So, after digging for a good five hours, I realised that I had missed out on some good films that did not have an in-your-face kind of relationship lessons, which is what makes them interesting to analyse. If you have not already read it, I suggest you first check out the first part of this blog before you read on further and come back for this one. Done? Great. Let’s discuss another 9 Hindi movies that give us awesome relationship lessons and tips that can make our relationships slightly better.
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1. Pyaar Ka Punchnama
The film that includes the monologue that set the theatres on fire, Pyaar Ka Punchnama was an obvious choice for this list. The film revolves around different types of relationships and is perfect for the Indian dating scenario. If you have not got a chance to watch it yet, the film is about three men dealing with three different types of girls in three different relationships. It tackles the problems that men face when they are dating. Obviously, the film inclines more toward the males but in a hilarious way. What is funny is that it is actually very relatable and as a woman, I approve of every bit of it. But the relationship that you should look out for is the one between Rajat and Neha. While they appear to be a normal couple from the outside, only Rajat knows the hits he takes when Neha is around.
We see Neha taking advantage of Rajat’s niceness and putting him in situations that are bound to leave him helpless. Another thing that I like about their relationship is that it is very real. It happens in almost every relationship.
Pyaar Ka Punchnama shows the real side of ‘slightly’ successful relationships. If you don’t know how to answer your woman’s neverending questions, this is something that you must watch. The film also features a scene where Rajat explains what it is like to shop with women and how it is frustrating for them to watch us drag them to the mall to buy the curtains for the house and return home with a pair of slippers. In fact, I believe that the movie offers more lessons to women than men. I mean I confess that it allowed me to introspect and helped me to become more tolerable in relationships.
I know we tend to excite about everything that Aamir Khan does but this film did not deserve all the praise that it got. However, I can say this without a shadow of a doubt that Talaash has some of the best relationship lessons that Bollywood has ever offered. Besides the beautiful songs, the relationship shared by Surjan and Roshni is one to look out for. Having lost their only son, their chemistry fails. As a result, their marriage begins to fall apart.
While Surjan is trying to find a rational way to deal with his emotions through his work, Roshni seeks a more philosophical and emotional path. They are so busy trying to wrap their head around their son’s death that they forget they still have a marriage to take care of. This stirs a lot of misunderstandings and fights due to communication gaps. Although things fall into place eventually, there is a lot of uphill struggle that the couple has to face before finding their silver lining.
This may seem a little harsh to some people, but the truth is that your spouse or partner is your first family when you are in a relationship. And like it or not, you have a bigger duty toward them than anybody else. Even your kids. You would never be able to provide your children with a happy home if your equation with your partner isn’t right. As a couple, you are bound to experience hardships, which may not be forgiving at times. But the only way to get out of it is by never leaving your partner’s side.
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If you have read the previous part of this article, you would already know that I am not particularly fond of Imtiaz Ali’s filmmaking. Rockstar could have been an outstanding film, but he failed to do justice to it. Also, thanks for casting Nargis Fakhri. She just put life into the script. (Lol. No. Just kidding!)
Rockstar is about Janardhan, who aspires to a musician but finds it difficult to find his muse. To get inspiration for his music, he decides to get his heart broken by a Heer. While he gets what he wants, he leads himself to a self-destructing path. He becomes rebellious and goes from Janardhan to Jordan. But he also gets more than he bargained for. Having got himself involved with a Heer who wants to try everything before her upcoming wedding, he loses track of himself and gets stuck in a messy love affair where there is no coming back from.
If you notice, I was not able to tell you much about a film that goes on for more than two hours. That is because there is not much content in the film and just a lot of picturesque cinematography. But one thing that you learn from this movie is you never know who you fall for when and how. You can’t always control your feelings no matter how commanding you are. Furthermore, the film emphasises on how you must keep your individual identity even if you are in a relationship. No matter how influential your partner is, never let them change you for worse.
4. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
What I love about Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is that it explores various issues that adults face in life. And also because, as my boyfriend says, “it feels like it is a tribute to Dil Chahta Hai.” One of the finer films in Bollywood, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara journeys through the lives of three ‘amigos’ who go on their much-planned trip to Spain for one of the men’s bachelor party. While everything seems reasonable on the outside, they realise that each one of them is facing a problem that the other two have no clue about. Also, they recognise that all their issues are stemming from their messy relationships with either family or partners.
Let’s discuss Kabir’s and Arjun’s relationships. Kabir is about to get married to Natasha who has gone from an overly ambitious woman to someone who has her life revolving entirely around their marriage and nothing else. While Kabir loves her, he prefers Natasha to have her own life even after the wedding, which is something that does not resonate with her. And that is why even after being in love, he decides that he would be better off without marrying her. On the other hand, Arjun is a well-settled broker who has made a name for himself after a rough childhood. For him, money is everything. And he is willing to get it at the cost of his relationship, too. While his intentions are good, his enthusiasm toward luxury makes him miss out on stable love life.
The message is quite clear in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. In Kabir’s case, we realise that losing your individuality is a big turn off for him. While you may be someone who is head over heels in love with your partner, what they may be attracted to could be your independence and your work ethic. Kabir finds Natasha attractive only until she is ambitious. The moment she makes him her whole life, the deal is off for him. On the contrary, Arjun is so ambitious about his work and earning luxury for himself that he turns a blind eye toward everything else including love. He is only able to find what is best for him when he decides to create a balance in his life. And that is some lesson right there.
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5. 7 Khoon Maaf
I honestly feel that this brilliant story was poorly executed and that is the only crime it should pay for. 7 Khoon Maaf tells a tale about Suzanna who is so unfortunate that she finds six husbands so bad that the only way to get rid of them is by killing them off. I know it sounds a bit overdramatic, but you can’t blame her. She marries an abusive major, a lying drug addict and musician followed by a poet who moonlights as a sadomasochist. She then marries her fourth husband who turns out to be a Russian spy, a policeman who turns out to be a sex addict and finally, a doctor who tries to poison her for her inheritance.
Suzanna spends her entire life trying to find a man’s love and picking up after her partner’s mess. And when it is too much to handle and no improvement in sight, she decides to get rid of them. You would have to watch the film to see why her murders are justified because it is an experience. But above all, it has six great relationship lessons.
Just like Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, it is clear what we can learn from 7 Khoon Maaf. Every human being has a set limit. They tend to be a rogue when they are pushed beyond this limit. Now, while everyone has a different manifestation, pushing someone’s buttons do not end in a hurrah. Ever! You may have great chemistry with your partner, and they may love you, but there is always a boundary that you should know better than to cross. There is no turning back once you pass it. And the outcome of that would not be something that you would like.
I despise this film. But I truly love the concept. The filmmakers of Nishabd dared to pick up a topic that is such a taboo across the world and for all the right reasons. A young girl falling in love with an older guy is still frowned upon in today’s day and age because it is not something that we are comfortable to look at. And let’s face it, we approve of only those things that we can make sense out of. Anything that does not fit our criteria of being sensible is tossed out of the window. So, there is no word for a relationship that occurs between an old man and a young girl. And that is why it is nishabd.
The film tells the story of a man named Vijay who is in his sixties who falls for his daughter’s much younger friend, Jia. This naturally odd relationship stirs up a whirlwind of problems in his family for its obvious unacceptable nature. Although the relationship is consensual, it violates the sanctity of Vijay’s marriage and Jia’s friendship with Vijay’s daughter. However, this does not stop both these people from justifying their indigestible love.
We all know that we are allowed to fall in love with whomever we want to. Now more than ever. And it is true that a relationship is a two-person affair and only the people involved in it have the right to give an opinion on it. But the real question is should we fall in love with someone at the expense of their family? It is a different subject altogether when both the individuals have no ties whatsoever. But when a relationship is built on a foundation that can destroy a family, it should not be continued with. A relationship that begins by hurting several people against their consent is already an unsuccessful one. And that is why there can neither be a name to such a relationship nor would it be accepted.
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Apart from being a torture weapon used by our parents to guilt-trip us for no reason, there is no doubt that Baghban tells the story of one of the best relationships we can ever know. The film is about an affectionate couple, Raj and Pooja, who decide to go and live with their kids post-Raj’s retirement from his job. Despite having a loving family, their life turns upside down when they realise that their children (all married) are not as excited about living with them as they are. Limited resources and finance lead to the children coming up with a plan to separate both their parents from each other for six months as they can accommodate only one of them at a time. Having no alternative and zero miles to carry on their independent livelihood, the couple decides to live away from each other.
Let’s jump straight to the lesson. The best part about Raj and Pooja’s relationship is that there is a high level of trust and respect from both the partners. So, they can keep their relationship a success even when they are away and have no means of regular communication. (They have a telephone, but they are not allowed to use it much). And even though their love wins against the test of distance and time, what really keeps them going is knowing that they would soon be together. If we shift our focus from the cheesiness of the entire plot, we can see what true love does to a relationship. It can transcend any problems that your relationship may be facing. It is true what they say, “love conquers all!”
8. Chalte Chalte
I recently had the chance to watch this film and was mildly surprised by its storyline. I know I am a bit too late, but I am not a fan of cheesy romantic films. Raj and Priya get married after Raj passionately pursues her even though she is already set to be married to someone else. She is educated and belongs to a wealthy family. And Raj is still trying to find his place in society. Given Raj’s economic status, Priya’s parents are naturally against their union. But one thing leads to another and they end up tying the knot. What follows is a little dramatic.
Raj is a tad egotistical so, having his wife work to provide for the family is not something that he is okay with. And although Priya is not the one to flaunt her income, Raj’s insecurity and guilt of not being enough lead him to start up fights regularly. Eventually, Priya decides to leave him for good after a misunderstanding strikes their relationship. And everything falls apart. I would tell you the ending, but you might already know it since this is a Bollywood film that we are talking about.
If you have read my previous blog on things that kill a good relationship, you would know that ‘ego’ was the number one cause of breakups among the people that were surveyed. Throughout the film, we see Raj’s ambition overpowering him, but by the end of the climax, we see that it has clouded his judgement to a point where he begins to question his wife’s character. He finds it hard to believe that he is less than his wife’s ex-fiance. So, he acts out. This is an excellent example of what drunk on power ego and power can make you. And if nothing else, Chalte Chalte has at least managed to give us not only a great set of songs but also some good relationship lessons.
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Copied or inspired, Aitraaz remains to be one of my favourite Hindi films of all times. It is gripping and really fresh. I love it when a script challenges the stereotypes of society and helps us see the other side of the coin. And that is what this film does, too. Aitraaz is about yet another Raj (I swear that Bollywood either has a shortage of names or some kind of an obsession with this name) who is accused of sexual misconduct by his old boss’ young wife, Sonia. Being innocent and falsely accused, Raj and his wife, Priya (oh, another Priya), set out to find justice for him.
Now for the twist in the tale, Sonia is actually Raj’s ex-girlfriend who left him to achieve fame and success. Also, being sexually dissatisfied with her husband (the old man), she decides to revive her old affair with Raj in exchange for a promotion.
There are two relationships that we are exposed to, here; Raj and Priya’s marriage and Raj and Sonia’s previous relationship. While the former is a healthy, consensual union, the latter was unequal, mostly selfish and extremely toxic for the man. Sonia is so overambitious that she is willing to achieve her goals at any cost. Even if it means literally throwing herself at a man. And although she gets money and power by marrying her husband, she is sexually frustrated. This tells us that you can either choose to be with a loving partner and slowly climb the ladder to success or you can ditch your love life and get ahead, which would inevitably bring you emptiness.
Furthermore, when Raj tells Priya about the accusation and tries to make her believe that he is innocent, she says something that really hits home. She tells Raj that he does not have to convince her to believe something he says. She would take him for his words. And there is your lesson right there. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, you can neither love them nor be with them. So, if you ever find yourself stuck in a messy relationship, always ask yourself if you can trust your partner. If the answer is yes, you can consider giving your relationship a chance. This is especially useful when you are trying to decide whether or not you want to be with your partner after they have cheated on you.