Arranged Marriage – What To Ask A Boy For The First Meeting?

Every girl is in search of a guy who makes her feel the most beautiful girl in the world, the one who cares for her and always be by her side no matter what the situation is. A girl is always in a lookout for her prince charming. Someone who is tall and dark/white (whatever you like), and is different from all the other boys in the world.

If you have found the love of your life by yourself, this is not for you. But if you are going to choose a life partner through an arranged marriage set up, you have come to the right place.

Arranged marriages are testing. And they will throw you with many challenges. While you can’t do away with all your challenges, you can reduce your troubles of groom hunting by asking the right questions. Read on to prepare yourself for the first meeting.

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What Is Arranged Marriage Like?

An arranged marriage set up is usually done by parents or relatives where you hardly know the guy or his family.

So, obviously there will be butterflies in your stomach when you are about to meet the guy. Also, at the same time, you will be nervous about how things will go with him.

There will be a lot of questions popping in your mind before you meet the guy. How does he look? What does he do? What is his nature like? And many more such questions.

When you decide to get married through an arranged marriage set up, you are going to meet a total stranger. Hence, it becomes difficult to make a decision as to whether he is perfect for you or not. You have to be very careful.

Now obviously, most of the girls must be thinking about how to start a conversation with the guy who is a complete stranger to you. I’m sure; lots of you must have experienced the same. So girls, don’t worry. I’m here to your rescue. Here are some important arranged marriage questions you must surely ask the guy during your first meeting. This will help you know the guy better and also decide whether you should take this thing further or not. So, let’s dig in.

1. What are your hobbies?

Let’s start with something basic and easy-breezy questions to make the conversation less pressurizing and stressful. Asking about the guy’s hobbies and his interests is the best way to start a conversation. You’ll come to know about his lifestyle and personal interests. The best thing is if your hobbies and interests coincidentally match then you will have loads to talk about.

2. What are your career goals and future plans?

This is one of the most important arranged marriage questions you need to ask the guy. It is important as you need to know how passionate your would-be partner is about his career. Does he have any future plans? What is he planning to have a successful career ahead? Asking him about his career and future plans will let you know whether he is serious about it or he is someone who has no goals at all. Though it depends on the way, the guy answers your questions you’ll surely get a hint about it. If he isn’t a career-oriented guy and has no future plans, it can affect your future. Also, it means that he won’t be able to take responsibilities and manage things in the future. Your future can be at stake.

3. Are you planning to settle abroad in the near future?

This question can be optional for many of you, but it is necessary too. So, if you are dreaming of settling with your partner abroad after marriage, you definitely need to ask him this question. If he has no plans to settle abroad, then you can according decide before taking things further. However, it can be another way around too. You have no plans to settle down abroad, so it is a good idea to clarify things first before taking things forward. Because if the guy is planning for a having a career abroad and settling there and you’re not ready for it, then it’s of no use taking things forward.

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4. Are you okay with marrying a career-oriented woman?

In today’s time, this is a must-ask arranged marriage question for men. The times have changed, and now there’s no difference between a boy and a girl. Both are equal and are successful and career-oriented. So if you are passionate and ambitious about your career, express the same to the guy. Ask him if he is okay marrying a girl like you who is not willing to give up her career. Find out if he is intimidated or feels complex with his woman’s success in her career. Ask him if he is okay if you are earning more than him. Ask him whether he is comfortable and allow you to work/study/travel after marriage. Lastly, ask him whether or not he will be supportive of you to achieve your goals. If the guy agrees to all this, then give it a go.

5. What are views about having kids? Do you see yourself with any in the future?

This is also one of the essential arranged marriage questions you need to ask the guy. Well, many might not give much importance to this as they assume that if you get married, you’ll definitely have kids someday. If you are thinking the same, then you might be wrong. There are many who don’t want kids. The reasons can be anything depending on person-to-person. Sometimes, the girls don’t want kids, sometimes the boys. So, it is necessary to know the views of the guy and ask him this question. For example, you have decided never to have kids, but the guy wants one, then it could be a problem. However, things can be vice versa. Hence, it is necessary to take this topic into consideration.

6. What will be your responsibilities towards your family?

This question will be a bit personal, but it is still necessary to ask. It might not go well with a guy as you are directly questioning him about his capabilities. But it is necessary for you to know how responsible he is towards his family. This will let you understand about the way he is capable of taking care of his family members, and if he is good at managing this, he will definitely take care of you in the same way.

7. Are you comfortable with taking the responsibilities of my family?

This is one of the most important arranged marriage question girls ask these days to the guy. This can be a test sort of thing for a guy that will help you know if he is a right guy for you or not. Girls never stop helping their family even after they get married. You always feel responsible for your family and try to help them whenever they need you. So, you feel the need to ask the guy the same and know what his views about the same are. If the guy feels responsible enough towards your family like his, then you can definitely consider him making your life partner. Even if he doesn’t, by asking this question, you will be able to judge him and his intentions. It will help you make the right choice.

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8. Have you been in a relationship before?

This is a bit of personal question, but you need to know. You can casually ask the guy about his past relationships and the reason they broke up. If the guy hasn’t done anything wrong, he would definitely open up about it and share with you. It will also help you gain confidence and develop trust. This can be an optional question depending on how comfortable are you to ask this to the guy.

9. What do you think about substance abuse?/Do you drink or smoke?

Drinking and smoking is a pretty common thing which most of the guys do. However, there are some who drink but don’t smoke. Some smoke but don’t drink. Some have a habit of both. Then there are some who are too much addicted to these habits. It’s a part of their lifestyle, and they can’t change it. And we all know smoking and drinking in excess can be harmful to health too. So, if you are not comfortable with your would-be partner having either of the two habits or both, you can always make it clear about it. If they are ready to give up, you can go ahead with it or can simply not take things forward.

10. Are you comfortable living separately from your family after marriage?

This is the most commonly asked arranged marriage question by a girl in the first meeting itself. The concept of a nuclear family is fast emerging in India. Initially, a large part of the people in India used to live in joint families. But slowly things have changed, and now even people are accepting the concept of a nuclear family.

Couples, these days, prefer living separately instead of living together. This gives them their freedom and privacy and also to live their life as per their will. If you are pretty open-minded and dream of living separately from your in-laws, you should definitely have this conversation with the guy in the first meeting itself. The guy too will be able to express his views on the same and let you about his thoughts. If both of your thoughts match, then you can definitely consider taking things forward.

11. Are you religious or spiritual? How extreme are your views?

You must definitely consider asking this necessary arranged marriage question to the guy you meet. As we all know, anything in excess can create problems. In the same way, it is important for you to know about how much the guy is involved in being religious or spiritual. Being religious or spiritual to a certain extent is alright, but if it’s too much, the family and the guy will demand the same from you. Also, if you are an atheist, you’ll have to make a lot of adjustments. So, it is best to talk to him about his family’s religious beliefs and their expectations from you.

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Asking Arranged Marriage Questions for the First Meeting

Some of the above questions may come off as too direct, harsh or even personal. But there’s always a way to ask them. You need to learn to put forth these questions while blending them in your conversation. Just when you and the guy are totally engaged in a conversation and get a bit comfortable in talking, shoot the question at that time. Don’t force any questions in the conversation or try to get it out from the guy forcefully. Try to gain his confidence at first and then start asking. See how things are going and then be ready to ask the rest of the questions. Also, don’t be judgmental, take some time to know what he is trying to convey.

He is definitely the right guy for you if…

Knowing a total stranger and deciding to marry him is a big task. Sometimes, you tend to misunderstand the guy and reject him. Sometimes, you tend to take the wrong decision by choosing the wrong guy which you will regret for the rest of your life.
There is no harm in expressing yourself and talking about your expectations from him. Feel free to talk about what you feel and the way he reciprocates. If you get all the positive vibes from him and he is willing to compromise to fulfil all your wishes and demands. He is definitely the right guy for you.

Arranged marriage is a tricky concept, still, there are many who prefer finding a life partner this way. There are thousands of successful marriages that were set up by parents or relatives, in India. In fact, most Indian marriages are still categorised as arranged. They are happily living with each other, having kids and a bright future for themselves. In fact, these couples highly recommend an arranged marriage to many who are in search of a perfect match.

Which questions did you ask your partner on the first meeting? Write them down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!


10 Secrets To Have A Successful Second Marriage

Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that happen in one’s life. It is a union forever when two people decide to spend their entire life together. That is why it is rightly said that

Marriages are made in heaven.

It is the most special day in a couple’s life when they vow to be with each other forever. For most of us, a perfect marriage is when two people get married and live happily ever after. However, in this not-so-perfect world, sometimes marriages do not work, and couples tend to get separated. There could be many reasons for a failed marriage, depending on couple-to-couple. Also sometimes, people die young, leaving behind grieving spouses with potentially long lives ahead of them.

There are many people who lose faith in the institution of marriage when their marriage fails or when they lose their partners. But there are also many who are all set to experience it again with all the excitement and happiness. Though these people are constantly judged by society, especially the women but there is nothing wrong to have a second marriage.

You get to learn many things before you think about getting married again

Sometimes, your first marriage doesn’t work for various reasons, and you tend to end it on mutual terms. But you are not at a loss; you get to learn many things before you think about getting married again. There must be many people around you who have married for the second time, and it was more successful than the first one.

It takes a lot of courage to start a new life again after getting separated from your partner. Sometimes people accept it and move on quickly, and sometimes people don’t. But there is no harm if you are thinking about starting a new life again. Finding a right partner, or choosing the person whom your family or friends have set you up with, can bring the same amount of happiness in life again.

What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all

Opting for a second marriage is a big step for anyone and this time you need to be more careful in choosing your partner. This depends on what kind of situation you faced earlier, which ended your marriage. Also, there is a lot of pressure on what people will say, or society will judge you for it. But you need to simply focus on what is in your mind and heart and follow it. What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all.
So, we all know, it takes a lot of efforts for both a man and a woman to make their marriage work. In the same way, be it your first or second marriage, you and your partner will need to put the same kind of efforts to make it work. Both will need to have the same goals to keep their married life happy.

So folks, today, I will be sharing some secrets to having a successful second marriage. And those who are experiencing this phase, swear by these tips to keep the marriage going and be happy forever.

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1. Realise the mistakes you did in your first marriage

When a couple goes through a divorce, it is the most difficult times in their lives. Nobody wants to experience this. But sometimes people are not meant to be together. Suppose, you have gone through a bad time in your marriage which resulted in your separation, so try to figure out what went wrong. When you decide to get married again, don’t repeat the same mistakes. Trying to change yourself is the most important key to have a successful second marriage. Avoid repeating the same mistakes to make your second marriage work and last forever.

2. Distance yourself and your partner from your past

When you are opting for a second marriage, you are stepping in a new life leaving behind your past. This is the best way to have a successful second marriage. Let bygones be bygones and focus on your current life. Talking about your ex in front of your current partner may affect your marriage. You have passed that phase and let it go. There is no worth mentioning or recollecting about those things. This might bother your current partner, and things can become a bit complicated.

3. Talk to your partner about your expectations

Sometimes marriages fail when you fail to live up to your partner’s expectations. The constant failure in this area will leave your partner frustrated, which leads to separation. Many times, you or your partner fail to express what you are expecting while the other one is not aware of it. If you have gone through this phase, you should seriously think about it when you decide to marry again. Express yourself to your partner; tell them what you expect from them. This is key to a successful second marriage.

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4. Accept your stepchildren happily

Most of the time and in most cases, when you opt for a second marriage, you should be ready for this. You or your partner should accept the kids from the previous marriage. Try to avoid awkward encounters with them and be friendly. Try to be their friend rather than directly trying to be their mother or father. Engage in some activities with them; go for movies, lunch, and dinners. If the kid is pretty young, you can play with them and do stuff that they like. Give them a chance to know you and yourself a chance to know them.

Spending some time with them and knowing them will help you develop a great bond which will help your marriage succeed, and you will be able to live a happy life with your partner. You have to accept the fact that your step kids are going to be around as they are a part of your life now. Also, this will make your spouse happy too. This is the most successful key to a second marriage.

5. Spend quality time with your partner

Sometimes when you get married for the second time, and your spouse has a kid, you end up devoting all the time with them. But you should realize that you need to spend an equal amount of time with your partner to know them better. Don’t give up your personal life entirely for kids. This might create problems between you and your partner. This is one way to have a successful second marriage.

6. Never lose your patience

Your first marriage failed due to some reason. But now you have married again. But you should have the patience for things to settle and have a great life again. You can’t expect things to be perfect all of a sudden. Give some time to your spouse. Having it started all over again can take some time. You are experiencing a whole new phase, and things will fall in place with time. So if your expectations are not fulfilled, wait for it. Don’t get impatient and show it to your partner. This way, you can have a successful second marriage.

7. Give yourself and your partner some space; privacy is mandatory

When you get married for the second time, sometimes you are too much involved in your partner. And your partner, too, is doing the same. Because you think you need to be with each other all the time. But that is not the right thing to do. Giving yourself some space and also to your partner can be helpful. Let your partner spend some time in what they love doing it. You can do the same because sometimes, giving each other some space can have a successful second marriage.

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8. Make new friends and expand your peer circle

This can bring a big change in your social life. You may have many mutual friends with your exes. So, it becomes a bit awkward to meet them when you get separated. Also, you can always bump into your ex while meeting these friends. This can be the same case with your spouse too. For some people, it may be a casual thing, but for some, it may be awkward. So, to avoid coming across such situations, make new friends with whom you can hang out with your current partner. It is like getting rid of your past friends, along with your past marriage. This will give a boost in your social life. Having a new social life altogether is key to a successful second marriage.

9. Be ready to compromise in your marriage

Just because you compromised on things in your first marriage and still it didn’t work, you can’t be extremely stubborn about it while dealing it with your second marriage. Carrying the same baggage of your first marriage can make things go hunky-dory in your second marriage. Little compromises can do no harm and in fact, bring you closer to your partner. If your partner expects you to adjust in some things, do it for your partner’s happiness and don’t crib about it. Compromising is a major key to a successful second marriage. It will make your partner feel that you love and care for them.

10. Don’t rush into things

When you get married for the second time or decide to give it another shot, simply don’t rush into things. Your goal is not just to remarry but to have a successful second marriage. Realize that rushing into things can make it worse, and probably you will end up separating from your spouse. Also, this may make your partner feel too much pressurized. Give yourself and your partner some time. If things aren’t working the way you had expected, talk about it to your partner. Find ways to deal with the situation rather than simply arriving at conclusions. This way, you will leave yourself and your partner frustrated.

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Having a Successful Second Marriage

Well, as we all know, marriage doesn’t come with a guarantee, and it is up to the couples who can make it work. Sometimes people end up marrying several times before finally settling down with the right person. Sometimes, you find everything you need in your first marriage itself. Marrying the second time in your life can give you another reason to live. If you want to move on, you will find the right person one day, and your life will be filled with all the happiness you deserve.

Whether you marry once, twice or thrice, you will need to take equal efforts in making it work. Sometimes, you end up marrying a wrong person and later realize it. But as we say, “Better late than never”, you can always get yourself out of it and find a new partner with whom you can live your life. No one is perfect in this world, and humans do sometimes make a mistake by choosing a wrong life partner. If it is not meant to be, you will end up separating from that person no matter how hard you try. But also, you will find out someone who is made for you.

Never lose hope

If life gives you another chance, try to make the most of it. Second marriages are no big deal, but making them work out takes a lot of efforts. Both you and your partner need to work on it. Taking things for –granted can make things worse for you and your spouse. Respect your marriage. Love it, nourish it, and let it grow. Let each day be happier than the other day. Even if you need to take extra efforts to make your partner happy, do it. Come with fewer expectations, and you won’t leave with a broken heart.

How did you make your second marriage work? Write your thoughts down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!

Love & Relationships Marriage

Advice for Modern Relationships

Recent times are being tricky. It is not just the environmental imbalances we are talking about. Emotional stabilities are at stake. Few examples to count upon like eventful love and relationship zone, which is when we come across people, fall for them, put our heart out for them and then life happens. We soon find ourselves in a tough situation and decide on the easy way out. Now giving it a thought, why are we belittling the mighty love and relationship by throwing it away like this?

We call ‘love’ a complicated entity, which is the absolute lie. Love is a sensation – brings people a lot closer, and rips the worlds and the lives far apart. It has a push and pull of its own. Relationships go right as well as wrong. If infused with loyalty, trust and just the right frequency, love can do the impossible. It has the incredible power of moving people. But if not handled or rather preserved the right way, it might lead you into oblivion. Hence, sharing a few pieces of advice on love and relationships might sound a good idea. 

Relationships in the modern setup

Speaking of the current dating trends, dating rules and habits have changed much in this digital era, and dating behaviour differs much between different set of ages. There is no clear set of rules between dating and being in a relationship. One doesn’t get to see that level of seriousness as compared to our previous generations.

People are following a dynamic lifestyle now, going on and off on their relationship status. Jobs and money have jumped up to number one on their priority list. Time is money. Yes, but true relations are gold as well. Because the bonds we share with our loved ones are intangible assets to us forever. It does not matter whether we get hitched or ditched; the feelings remain. They strengthen us every day, making a better human out of us. Our loved dear and near ones make us worthy and wealthy enough. 

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Value your emotional quotient

In the modern age where feelings have become transient & moreover cryptic, we all need to stop treating feelings as a commodity. Respect because emotions make you human. It is not that true love is a rare find. It is when you stick to your partner even when your world is falling apart. It definitely calls for enormous strength, but that is love. Discuss, commit, respect and support. So far if happening, nothing else matters. 

Make time for your beloved relationship

Time is precious. And God knows, Relations too. Securing time for your loved half is the best dedication you can yearn for. After those exhausting hours of work, the moments shared replenishes your mind and soul. Every time you might unbox a new facet of your soulmate, keeping you wondering how fantastic your choice is. Misunderstandings fail to impregnate your bond. For love and relationship to blossom, make yourself available when your partner needs you. 

Be in a relationship whose consequences you are aware of

 Usually, in the modern dating style, we are usually just seeking a shoulder to lean on, a mind that understands and reverts to us, a faithful listening ear and a person with a good sense of humour to bring big smiles on your faces, even if it is all for a while. The young generation is not seeking out for long term commitments. Either they find it too heavy or much time-consuming.

Casual dating is a new trend. You keep dating a person without even knowing the latter well enough. One must fear that you might stay like this for all your life. You might forever remain confused between what’s right for you and what’s not. Don’t take feelings too casually. It is better to have a stable partner than playing with other’s time and emotions. 

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Avoid any public boasting about a relationship you are not serious about 

Social platforms have their own boons and setbacks. We often use them to update our friends with our knowledge pool, our likes and dislikes, relationship status etc. Even though we date temporarily, we find it apt to show off what kind of cool personality we are by posting photos and exclusive details of our partner. However, we fail to realise that we are sabotaging somebody’s life for worse. So, think and publicise anything responsibly. 

Do not fall for online relationship seeker

Cybercrime is a no-nonsense event these days. Multiple social media accounts are hacked or run by mastermind opportunity seekers who are experts at brainwashing innocent people seeking friends or relationships online. Do not fall for these emotional tantrums easily. Double-check all the personal details as shared by the person in question. Do not share any of your personal data like pictures, videos, contact details, address, bank details, etc. with any unknown on such platforms. You would not even know the consequences of it. Your privacy is in your hands. 

Do not shudder at making bold decisions and stay rock-solid by your partner

Love marriages are not so uncommon these days. Even better, people are proposing live-in relationships to get a better understanding of their to-be. Definitely, one must not see any harm in this thought process. Marriage is a commitment; a life-long commitment. One must be sure enough to go ahead and move rocks. It is not as easy a decision for girls as it is for boys.

In this patriarchal setup, girls can be stereotyped very quickly. Forget about the hymen of the girl; think about her future for once. Now since the old stigmas are shattering, we are looking towards empowered women, self-capable and independent girls who are bold enough to screw the societal norms. 

High time to accept love in all its form

It may be hard to digest for some people, but the truth remains that love has no gender. Society must be inclusive of all sorts of sexual inclinations. Men and women in our community must be encouraged to gather strength and admit to their sexual preferences because love can never bring shame in a world so full of hatred and chaos. Instead, dare to become the best life support your beloved deserves.

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Never stop nurturing your relationship and appreciate every little thing

We all fantasy love birds to be friends first. But when both the partners start taking their feelings and efforts for granted, their very relationship turns into a facade. Value the one meant for you. Keep the sparks flying high even years later. Listen to them. Talk to them. Laugh and cry out even harder. Trust me. There is eternal bliss in those very moments. Don’t let anything creep between you two. Don’t expect life to be too long for this privilege. Make a doable bucket list and start ticking off. Individual goals and principles must be respected. That is where individual space sets in. Time and space make a relationship beautifully long-lasting. 

Keep on holding to your beloved in unfavourable times as well

All said, humans do make mistakes or rather mistaken. When two people belonging to two different worlds come together, significant clashes are bound to occur. They may happen today or some years down the line. But they will happen. Few just give in while others straighten up their minds, take the reins in their own hands and steer it in a new direction supported with some bold moves. People do comment, but does it really matter? Is there anything more important than peace in your life? And especially when we are talking about two precious lives here. Be bold and be brave. People will be embracing you back one day.

Avoid strangulating your relationship by being extra possessive

Try holding the sands in your whole fist. Tighter your hold is, more of it will be getting away from you. This principle is taught to us in our childhood days so many times that it is well inscribed in our minds by now. But what if we forget to apply the same in our real lives? Those simple learnings were meant for our today only. At times, people become so possessive about their partners that it becomes their obsession. They unknowingly start doubting, blaming and hurting mentally as well as physically (in some cases). Once a workshop, your relationship turns into a damn warehouse. There is no more space to breathe in your relationship.

Suffocation leads to death. In other words, by getting way too protective, you are leading your relationship to a dead end, where there is no turning back. So, it is important to believe in your mate and give ample space to bud and blossom even more. 

Do not let your job destroy your personal life

Corporate busy lives is another major challenge faced by couples lately. Lack of time and patience is taking a toll on a significant count of relationships. People are either getting too disheartened to lead their puppet lives anymore or getting too ambitious to take a leap forward, putting their once forever relations at stake. It is a highly disappointing picture for our NexGen humans. Though we cannot bring the old 80’s or 90’s era of subtle life teachings, at least show them how amidst everything love and relationships are so pure and priceless. They must really know that cherished relationships can never be undermined for any reason whatsoever.

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Be warm and welcoming to second chances of love and relationship

There are few relations out of relations, which we casually term as extramarital affairs. As bad it sounds, as worse is the reason for it even to exist. For instance, picky fights between a couple or a couple of misunderstandings leading to saturation or difference of ideologies or goals etc.

Life offers you when you least expect it. Finding your love for the second time is indeed beautiful. But given its due space and respect is expected at the least. You have to move on unless you have other primary concerns such as kids or any health issues of your partner. In such cases, it is tough to decide, but one must not forget that love cannot be substantiated by any cultural or religious bond. Love has its abode deep inside our hearts. It will be there for as long as you wish.

Expectations kill the harmony of any relationship 

Love and relationships without much expectations of returns are the ones which are pure bliss. Selfless love is regarded as a priceless virtue. The kind which we see in dogs, which makes them even more loveable. 

A piece of advice for budding parents

Times have changed. Parents are now no more imposing their decisions or choices on their younger version. They are allowing the kids to make new mistakes every time and learn a step further. These might be life-changing lessons for them. We really appreciate this kind of education. Encouraging your child to be experimental is one of the best and tough decisions. But that is what a genuine parent-child relationship is made of.

Give them open-ended choices. Their independent decisions on handling their relationships must be regarded as well as guarded. Be inclusive of your child’s preferences because, at the end of the day, they are going to look up to you as a model of inspiration. 

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Advice on love and relationships may sound a good read, but it is way more alluring to have the right person beside you, fulfilling the meaning of love in all aspects.

Do you have any advice for modern relationships? Write them down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!


Everything We Need to Know Before We Get Married

There are so many relationship blogs that teach you about marriage and married life. But so few are inspired by real-life events and experiences. In this article, you will learn the many things that everyone should know before getting married. These are things I have learned in my own marriage, and I believe they would be helpful to those about to walk down the aisle and even for already married couples. Preparing for weddings is a lot of work.

First, you have to make the invitations, choose your bridesmaids, and plan for the reception. Then you have to decide what dress to wear, what food to serve, which flowers to get, and who to invite. All these will definitely eat up a lot of your time and energy. Don’t get me wrong. All these are necessary plans to ensure that nothing goes wrong on the day of the wedding. However, couples could get so preoccupied with planning for the event that they forget what really matters. You see, preparing for your wedding is one thing, but preparing for marriage is a whole other story. It requires some work, too! So, below, I have shared some important things to know before the wedding, along with a few tips for getting married.

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1. Shut the doors to your past

If you have a sexual past, any baggage, or meat work, you need not say all those things or open that door to your partner. Leave the past in the past. Ask the universe for support and seek change.

Alternatively, you might come from the other side of the camp and feel completely ambiguous about the wedding night because you are a virgin.

Feeling clumsy and silly is normal, it is easy to think that you will never learn anything. Actually, there is little truth in this; You will always be learning something better to get comfortable in that student seat! But the whole truth is that you have followed God’s design and marriage plans. You are in the perfect place. He will help you; you will learn.

No matter which camp you come into, do not listen to the lies of the enemy who wants to discourage you. Choose to fall in love with your partner. Let your instincts guide you to a greater path.

2. Find out if you accept each other just the way you are

Unless you are living together for some time, there will be some little habits that will come as a surprise for your future spouse. For example, one of you might be a sleepwalker, a sniper, a person who stays on a beer bar for hours or a person who likes to walk around the house naked.

It is always a good idea to introduce your future life partner to these little habits(it can help to make your relationship stronger), so when you stop walking around the house in the middle of the night, they are not suddenly surprised.

3. Understand that respect is above love

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying love is not important. But there are many cases where the couple likes to live together, even after the love died a long time ago. Or sometimes, you need support to help your children grow or to get financial security.

Once you lose respect for your partner, you will not be able to co-exist. Life becomes constant torture. Their voice annoys your ears. And every time they talk, they get on your nerves. Their touch disturbs the cells in your body. Every encounter is a potential crisis. So, while you can revive lost love, respect is irreplaceable. And that is why respect is always above love.

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4. You must communicate

There is no other place where wives expect their husbands to read their minds like a wedding bed. And you will get to know on your wedding night what kind of hope you have, and it will kick out your body on your own without a lot of input.

The reality of the matter is that you are also learning your own body, so it is not the case that you are expected to give the whole thesis. Just because you don’t know everything about her, it is your first night (even though it is not, it is still the first night under a holy marriage). So you need to start learning to communicate and engage in telling your partner what is happening to you.

And to tell your partner what is happening to you, you also will need to understand what is happening to you. So if it hurts or you want to try something else or if you are sore and want a break for a few hours, let her know, communicate. Don’t shut up, he wants to, and you’re engaged.

5. Marriage offers a learning curve

At the wedding, you will learn a lot about your husband or wife and will be unknowing. As they often say, marriage is the only school where you never graduate, and where you never get a diploma! So, if you are never going to graduate from the College of Marriage, then it means that you are going to learn a lot about the person about which you said: “I do”. So, get ready to become a student in this special school for the rest of your life, because you have a very long ride. Enjoy this marriage life. Fun things to do before you get married; it makes your life change and fills it with happiness.

6.  Learn life skills

Getting married means that at some point, you have to go to your place with your partner and get by standing on your feet. This is the reason why learning newer skills is efficient. Prepare for your wedding by learning how to cook. Also, there is nothing more romantic than sharing homemade food with your spouse. For starters, you can try and learn how to cook each other’s favourite dishes. Learn a new recipe or two or go as far as taking a few cooking classes.

You should start preparing for work at home and preparing for marriage. If you are the type of person, who was raised at home to look after your own belongings, good for you. Otherwise, you should learn how to do laundry, wash dishes, and operate a vacuum cleaner. Marriage is not about spending all your free time cuddling together. It is also about working and running errands. You got to share your work, and you got ready to correct it.

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7. The wedding night is not the end, but the beginning of your life together

The main thing here is that I like to say from this post. You do not have a perfect night of marriage. In fact, most couples will tell you that their wedding night photograph was not right. But they used to love it anyway.

With all embarrassment and minor issues, it was the beginning of their married life, and they did not trade the experience for anything. There is a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to.

Therefore do not exchange to complete bliss and fun. Enjoy the whole day and night and keep in mind that you do not have it. There are thousands of nights to come. You have more time to learn, to grow, to grow. So enjoy this day and night because you only have one wedding night!

8. Money matters matter

A marriage will not survive alone in love. You also have to meet the problems. To be ready for a wedding, both of you should be financially secure. Even before popping up the question, you got to assess how much you earn and find out if it will be enough for your needs as a married couple. Make sure that your monthly salary and savings can pay off not only for the wedding but also the daily expenses after you settle together. Preparing for a wedding also means that you have to learn to handle your finances. You don’t have to keep your money alone, no more you have to pay your dues, pay your share bills, buy groceries from your pocket. Never expect your partner to carry all the costs. If you are not prepared for this way of life, then you are not ready for marriage.

9. Change after marriage

What do we need to change to do this work? No couple is perfect. But that does not mean that after marrying your partner do not need to change anything. For starters, you can try to improve the ways that you handle conflicts. If both of you end up with a quarrel, when a dispute arises, you probably can not take that behaviour to your marriage!

Start with small things like being more responsible for work, remembering little things or being more open with communication. Relationships require frequent changes and improvements, and none of these once ends when you get married.

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10. You will not be the same person after marriage

People keep changing all the time. You fell head on the heels for this person. It’s passionate, energetic carers who wanted to hear, who dreamed big and wanted to change the world. Having continuously been buried under corporate-life wheels for years, marathons after children, and drowning in daily homework, will almost never recognize your partner’s personality. They may be more nervous, less sensitive, more aggressive or less forgiving. They certainly will not be the same person, and you need to come up with a new version of yourself and your partner. Otherwise, your life will be unbearable.

11. It’s not all about sex

Real intimacy in marriage is not about sex only. It is about connecting mental, emotional, spiritual in all areas. Hopefully, you are joining all these other areas before your wedding night. Work on making friendships during engagement and courtship because it is engaging in other areas that make sex beautiful.

Sex is like eating and drinking. Everyone knows that, but only some people think that everyone can live on the same food. Kids meal is more than enough for some people. But some people do not feel full before eating an entire family meal. This happens with sex also, do not expect your partner to have the same hunger with you. If a partner is hungry, then he can become a betrayal. You need to communicate your feelings, needs and concerns; otherwise, you will be stuck in a bull ass relationship.

12. Be friends before lovers

Lastly, I want to say if you want your partner to stay with you throughout your life, then you have to treat her like your best friend. One day, many years from now, when the cyclone of emotion, intimacy, the growth of children and the way to work, you will return and reflect on your marriage path. You will have a lot of time to spend together. If the hours pass in the form of eternity and you have nothing to say, then you are not friends in your whole life. Friendship is the glue that binds the couple together — all the way to the end.

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Final Thoughts On the Subject

These are just some things that you have to know before you get married. It seems that you have got a lot of work to do, but if you do it together with your partner, it will not be so difficult. Be motivated to each other and be prepared to move forward. It can serve as an assistant guide for all the lovely couples, who will soon be married. I hope you have a smooth transition from the dating phase to the married phase of your relationship. Best wishes to you and may you have the best married life ahead!

What did you wish you knew before getting married? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!