Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that happen in one’s life. It is a union forever when two people decide to spend their entire life together. That is why it is rightly said that
Marriages are made in heaven.
It is the most special day in a couple’s life when they vow to be with each other forever. For most of us, a perfect marriage is when two people get married and live happily ever after. However, in this not-so-perfect world, sometimes marriages do not work, and couples tend to get separated. There could be many reasons for a failed marriage, depending on couple-to-couple. Also sometimes, people die young, leaving behind grieving spouses with potentially long lives ahead of them.
There are many people who lose faith in the institution of marriage when their marriage fails or when they lose their partners. But there are also many who are all set to experience it again with all the excitement and happiness. Though these people are constantly judged by society, especially the women but there is nothing wrong to have a second marriage.
You get to learn many things before you think about getting married again
Sometimes, your first marriage doesn’t work for various reasons, and you tend to end it on mutual terms. But you are not at a loss; you get to learn many things before you think about getting married again. There must be many people around you who have married for the second time, and it was more successful than the first one.
It takes a lot of courage to start a new life again after getting separated from your partner. Sometimes people accept it and move on quickly, and sometimes people don’t. But there is no harm if you are thinking about starting a new life again. Finding a right partner, or choosing the person whom your family or friends have set you up with, can bring the same amount of happiness in life again.
What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all
Opting for a second marriage is a big step for anyone and this time you need to be more careful in choosing your partner. This depends on what kind of situation you faced earlier, which ended your marriage. Also, there is a lot of pressure on what people will say, or society will judge you for it. But you need to simply focus on what is in your mind and heart and follow it. What people will say shouldn’t bother you at all.
So, we all know, it takes a lot of efforts for both a man and a woman to make their marriage work. In the same way, be it your first or second marriage, you and your partner will need to put the same kind of efforts to make it work. Both will need to have the same goals to keep their married life happy.
So folks, today, I will be sharing some secrets to having a successful second marriage. And those who are experiencing this phase, swear by these tips to keep the marriage going and be happy forever.
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1. Realise the mistakes you did in your first marriage
When a couple goes through a divorce, it is the most difficult times in their lives. Nobody wants to experience this. But sometimes people are not meant to be together. Suppose, you have gone through a bad time in your marriage which resulted in your separation, so try to figure out what went wrong. When you decide to get married again, don’t repeat the same mistakes. Trying to change yourself is the most important key to have a successful second marriage. Avoid repeating the same mistakes to make your second marriage work and last forever.
2. Distance yourself and your partner from your past
When you are opting for a second marriage, you are stepping in a new life leaving behind your past. This is the best way to have a successful second marriage. Let bygones be bygones and focus on your current life. Talking about your ex in front of your current partner may affect your marriage. You have passed that phase and let it go. There is no worth mentioning or recollecting about those things. This might bother your current partner, and things can become a bit complicated.
3. Talk to your partner about your expectations
Sometimes marriages fail when you fail to live up to your partner’s expectations. The constant failure in this area will leave your partner frustrated, which leads to separation. Many times, you or your partner fail to express what you are expecting while the other one is not aware of it. If you have gone through this phase, you should seriously think about it when you decide to marry again. Express yourself to your partner; tell them what you expect from them. This is key to a successful second marriage.
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4. Accept your stepchildren happily
Most of the time and in most cases, when you opt for a second marriage, you should be ready for this. You or your partner should accept the kids from the previous marriage. Try to avoid awkward encounters with them and be friendly. Try to be their friend rather than directly trying to be their mother or father. Engage in some activities with them; go for movies, lunch, and dinners. If the kid is pretty young, you can play with them and do stuff that they like. Give them a chance to know you and yourself a chance to know them.
Spending some time with them and knowing them will help you develop a great bond which will help your marriage succeed, and you will be able to live a happy life with your partner. You have to accept the fact that your step kids are going to be around as they are a part of your life now. Also, this will make your spouse happy too. This is the most successful key to a second marriage.
5. Spend quality time with your partner
Sometimes when you get married for the second time, and your spouse has a kid, you end up devoting all the time with them. But you should realize that you need to spend an equal amount of time with your partner to know them better. Don’t give up your personal life entirely for kids. This might create problems between you and your partner. This is one way to have a successful second marriage.
6. Never lose your patience
Your first marriage failed due to some reason. But now you have married again. But you should have the patience for things to settle and have a great life again. You can’t expect things to be perfect all of a sudden. Give some time to your spouse. Having it started all over again can take some time. You are experiencing a whole new phase, and things will fall in place with time. So if your expectations are not fulfilled, wait for it. Don’t get impatient and show it to your partner. This way, you can have a successful second marriage.
7. Give yourself and your partner some space; privacy is mandatory
When you get married for the second time, sometimes you are too much involved in your partner. And your partner, too, is doing the same. Because you think you need to be with each other all the time. But that is not the right thing to do. Giving yourself some space and also to your partner can be helpful. Let your partner spend some time in what they love doing it. You can do the same because sometimes, giving each other some space can have a successful second marriage.
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8. Make new friends and expand your peer circle
This can bring a big change in your social life. You may have many mutual friends with your exes. So, it becomes a bit awkward to meet them when you get separated. Also, you can always bump into your ex while meeting these friends. This can be the same case with your spouse too. For some people, it may be a casual thing, but for some, it may be awkward. So, to avoid coming across such situations, make new friends with whom you can hang out with your current partner. It is like getting rid of your past friends, along with your past marriage. This will give a boost in your social life. Having a new social life altogether is key to a successful second marriage.
9. Be ready to compromise in your marriage
Just because you compromised on things in your first marriage and still it didn’t work, you can’t be extremely stubborn about it while dealing it with your second marriage. Carrying the same baggage of your first marriage can make things go hunky-dory in your second marriage. Little compromises can do no harm and in fact, bring you closer to your partner. If your partner expects you to adjust in some things, do it for your partner’s happiness and don’t crib about it. Compromising is a major key to a successful second marriage. It will make your partner feel that you love and care for them.
10. Don’t rush into things
When you get married for the second time or decide to give it another shot, simply don’t rush into things. Your goal is not just to remarry but to have a successful second marriage. Realize that rushing into things can make it worse, and probably you will end up separating from your spouse. Also, this may make your partner feel too much pressurized. Give yourself and your partner some time. If things aren’t working the way you had expected, talk about it to your partner. Find ways to deal with the situation rather than simply arriving at conclusions. This way, you will leave yourself and your partner frustrated.
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Having a Successful Second Marriage
Well, as we all know, marriage doesn’t come with a guarantee, and it is up to the couples who can make it work. Sometimes people end up marrying several times before finally settling down with the right person. Sometimes, you find everything you need in your first marriage itself. Marrying the second time in your life can give you another reason to live. If you want to move on, you will find the right person one day, and your life will be filled with all the happiness you deserve.
Whether you marry once, twice or thrice, you will need to take equal efforts in making it work. Sometimes, you end up marrying a wrong person and later realize it. But as we say, “Better late than never”, you can always get yourself out of it and find a new partner with whom you can live your life. No one is perfect in this world, and humans do sometimes make a mistake by choosing a wrong life partner. If it is not meant to be, you will end up separating from that person no matter how hard you try. But also, you will find out someone who is made for you.
Never lose hope
If life gives you another chance, try to make the most of it. Second marriages are no big deal, but making them work out takes a lot of efforts. Both you and your partner need to work on it. Taking things for –granted can make things worse for you and your spouse. Respect your marriage. Love it, nourish it, and let it grow. Let each day be happier than the other day. Even if you need to take extra efforts to make your partner happy, do it. Come with fewer expectations, and you won’t leave with a broken heart.