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Marriage

Everything We Need to Know Before We Get Married

There are so many relationship blogs that teach you about marriage and married life. But so few are inspired by real-life events and experiences. In this article, you will learn the many things that everyone should know before getting married. These are things I have learned in my own marriage, and I believe they would be helpful to those about to walk down the aisle and even for already married couples. Preparing for weddings is a lot of work.

First, you have to make the invitations, choose your bridesmaids, and plan for the reception. Then you have to decide what dress to wear, what food to serve, which flowers to get, and who to invite. All these will definitely eat up a lot of your time and energy. Don’t get me wrong. All these are necessary plans to ensure that nothing goes wrong on the day of the wedding. However, couples could get so preoccupied with planning for the event that they forget what really matters. You see, preparing for your wedding is one thing, but preparing for marriage is a whole other story. It requires some work, too! So, below, I have shared some important things to know before the wedding, along with a few tips for getting married.

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1. Shut the doors to your past

If you have a sexual past, any baggage, or meat work, you need not say all those things or open that door to your partner. Leave the past in the past. Ask the universe for support and seek change.

Alternatively, you might come from the other side of the camp and feel completely ambiguous about the wedding night because you are a virgin.

Feeling clumsy and silly is normal, it is easy to think that you will never learn anything. Actually, there is little truth in this; You will always be learning something better to get comfortable in that student seat! But the whole truth is that you have followed God’s design and marriage plans. You are in the perfect place. He will help you; you will learn.

No matter which camp you come into, do not listen to the lies of the enemy who wants to discourage you. Choose to fall in love with your partner. Let your instincts guide you to a greater path.

2. Find out if you accept each other just the way you are

Unless you are living together for some time, there will be some little habits that will come as a surprise for your future spouse. For example, one of you might be a sleepwalker, a sniper, a person who stays on a beer bar for hours or a person who likes to walk around the house naked.

It is always a good idea to introduce your future life partner to these little habits(it can help to make your relationship stronger), so when you stop walking around the house in the middle of the night, they are not suddenly surprised.

3. Understand that respect is above love

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying love is not important. But there are many cases where the couple likes to live together, even after the love died a long time ago. Or sometimes, you need support to help your children grow or to get financial security.

Once you lose respect for your partner, you will not be able to co-exist. Life becomes constant torture. Their voice annoys your ears. And every time they talk, they get on your nerves. Their touch disturbs the cells in your body. Every encounter is a potential crisis. So, while you can revive lost love, respect is irreplaceable. And that is why respect is always above love.

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4. You must communicate

There is no other place where wives expect their husbands to read their minds like a wedding bed. And you will get to know on your wedding night what kind of hope you have, and it will kick out your body on your own without a lot of input.

The reality of the matter is that you are also learning your own body, so it is not the case that you are expected to give the whole thesis. Just because you don’t know everything about her, it is your first night (even though it is not, it is still the first night under a holy marriage). So you need to start learning to communicate and engage in telling your partner what is happening to you.

And to tell your partner what is happening to you, you also will need to understand what is happening to you. So if it hurts or you want to try something else or if you are sore and want a break for a few hours, let her know, communicate. Don’t shut up, he wants to, and you’re engaged.

5. Marriage offers a learning curve

At the wedding, you will learn a lot about your husband or wife and will be unknowing. As they often say, marriage is the only school where you never graduate, and where you never get a diploma! So, if you are never going to graduate from the College of Marriage, then it means that you are going to learn a lot about the person about which you said: “I do”. So, get ready to become a student in this special school for the rest of your life, because you have a very long ride. Enjoy this marriage life. Fun things to do before you get married; it makes your life change and fills it with happiness.

6.  Learn life skills

Getting married means that at some point, you have to go to your place with your partner and get by standing on your feet. This is the reason why learning newer skills is efficient. Prepare for your wedding by learning how to cook. Also, there is nothing more romantic than sharing homemade food with your spouse. For starters, you can try and learn how to cook each other’s favourite dishes. Learn a new recipe or two or go as far as taking a few cooking classes.

You should start preparing for work at home and preparing for marriage. If you are the type of person, who was raised at home to look after your own belongings, good for you. Otherwise, you should learn how to do laundry, wash dishes, and operate a vacuum cleaner. Marriage is not about spending all your free time cuddling together. It is also about working and running errands. You got to share your work, and you got ready to correct it.

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7. The wedding night is not the end, but the beginning of your life together

The main thing here is that I like to say from this post. You do not have a perfect night of marriage. In fact, most couples will tell you that their wedding night photograph was not right. But they used to love it anyway.

With all embarrassment and minor issues, it was the beginning of their married life, and they did not trade the experience for anything. There is a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to.

Therefore do not exchange to complete bliss and fun. Enjoy the whole day and night and keep in mind that you do not have it. There are thousands of nights to come. You have more time to learn, to grow, to grow. So enjoy this day and night because you only have one wedding night!

8. Money matters matter

A marriage will not survive alone in love. You also have to meet the problems. To be ready for a wedding, both of you should be financially secure. Even before popping up the question, you got to assess how much you earn and find out if it will be enough for your needs as a married couple. Make sure that your monthly salary and savings can pay off not only for the wedding but also the daily expenses after you settle together. Preparing for a wedding also means that you have to learn to handle your finances. You don’t have to keep your money alone, no more you have to pay your dues, pay your share bills, buy groceries from your pocket. Never expect your partner to carry all the costs. If you are not prepared for this way of life, then you are not ready for marriage.

9. Change after marriage

What do we need to change to do this work? No couple is perfect. But that does not mean that after marrying your partner do not need to change anything. For starters, you can try to improve the ways that you handle conflicts. If both of you end up with a quarrel, when a dispute arises, you probably can not take that behaviour to your marriage!

Start with small things like being more responsible for work, remembering little things or being more open with communication. Relationships require frequent changes and improvements, and none of these once ends when you get married.

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10. You will not be the same person after marriage

People keep changing all the time. You fell head on the heels for this person. It’s passionate, energetic carers who wanted to hear, who dreamed big and wanted to change the world. Having continuously been buried under corporate-life wheels for years, marathons after children, and drowning in daily homework, will almost never recognize your partner’s personality. They may be more nervous, less sensitive, more aggressive or less forgiving. They certainly will not be the same person, and you need to come up with a new version of yourself and your partner. Otherwise, your life will be unbearable.

11. It’s not all about sex

Real intimacy in marriage is not about sex only. It is about connecting mental, emotional, spiritual in all areas. Hopefully, you are joining all these other areas before your wedding night. Work on making friendships during engagement and courtship because it is engaging in other areas that make sex beautiful.

Sex is like eating and drinking. Everyone knows that, but only some people think that everyone can live on the same food. Kids meal is more than enough for some people. But some people do not feel full before eating an entire family meal. This happens with sex also, do not expect your partner to have the same hunger with you. If a partner is hungry, then he can become a betrayal. You need to communicate your feelings, needs and concerns; otherwise, you will be stuck in a bull ass relationship.

12. Be friends before lovers

Lastly, I want to say if you want your partner to stay with you throughout your life, then you have to treat her like your best friend. One day, many years from now, when the cyclone of emotion, intimacy, the growth of children and the way to work, you will return and reflect on your marriage path. You will have a lot of time to spend together. If the hours pass in the form of eternity and you have nothing to say, then you are not friends in your whole life. Friendship is the glue that binds the couple together — all the way to the end.

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Final Thoughts On the Subject

These are just some things that you have to know before you get married. It seems that you have got a lot of work to do, but if you do it together with your partner, it will not be so difficult. Be motivated to each other and be prepared to move forward. It can serve as an assistant guide for all the lovely couples, who will soon be married. I hope you have a smooth transition from the dating phase to the married phase of your relationship. Best wishes to you and may you have the best married life ahead!

What did you wish you knew before getting married? Write it down in the comment section below for your fellow readers!